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So yes. The title is very gloomy. But I have been forced into this train of thought as late and I have decided to put said thoughts in a post here.
As we all know all to well, life has a way of wrapping our brains around a small stick and tries to guide us through its own maze.
Work, family, food, sleep, redo. Sound familiar. We all get trapped in that maze. So how do we recognize the rut we are in and more importantly how do we get out of it.
Well, unfortunately, the death of someone close to us always has a way of knocking us around. And usually we get tossed out of those ruts as a result. We re-evaluate our own lives and try to make small or even large changes to effect significant change in our lives. Eat healthier, or don't. More vacations. More time with friends and family. Spend more money on frivolous things. Whatever the outcome is death changes our paths. Sometimes for short bursts sometimes forever. But it does change us.
To sum it up, time is short on this rock and it is a waste of that time not chasing your hopes and desires. Get out there and be you. To &#^$ with what's expected. Live your life likes its your last day ladies. Because one day it will be.
💋 💘
Trisha.
PS. I want to say that I love each and every one of you for who you are and how you have allowed me to be who I am. Thanks 😊
Hi Trisha a gloomy post but a thoughtful one also that make you think about every member of the family and friends who pass away that takes a little more of the heart strings away .. I have lost many family members as both Mom and Dad wifes Mom and Dad A young 17 yr old daughter Older brother here within last few months as well as close friends always tugs you in different directions .. For my wife who has a pacemaker and has fought cancer and beat it I have had heart attack as like you say time is short and trying to let the ropes out a little for Stephanie to spread her wings a bit i am so happy for Keystone to come so Stephanie and my wife can have a little fun in this lifetime before we head to the next one so happy i found CDH and made so many girlfriends here makes my heart jump with joy each time i log on and wife says im a much better person to be around ha ha hugs to everyone here and thanks for making this a wonderful place to belong to ..
Stephanie Bass
In a way, it was my own "death" that started me on the journey to accepting myself as I truly am.
Long story short.
I had a massive heart attack at 48, the "widowmaker". But when it woke me up in the middle of the night, it didn't feel like a heart attack, just the worst heartburn I have ever had in my life, and I went back to bed. I was a pretty stubborn guy back then!
Since I still felt bad in the morning, my wife convinced me to go to the emergency room. Hearing that fancy EKG machine alarm out and call code when they attached it to me was quite the wakeup call! My heart was beating so weakly, that the machine couldn't register my heartbeat enough to measure it. I was technically "clinically dead". I still feel a little twinge when I hear that artificial voice saying "code blue...code blue..." on TV or over the PA in a hospital. The doctor was astonished that I was not only conscious, but had driven myself to the emergency room! Yeah, I was that stubborn!
Skipping to the end - They got me fixed up with a triple bypass, and part of my recovery was a strong admonishment to learn to relax, and to let go of things that stressed me out. Little did I know at the time what the source of a lot of my stress and frustration was!
This experience was a large part of what made me more receptive to what my wife had been trying to get me to accept about myself all along, and I progressed to where I am now. It still took a while, I had a lot to overcome, but I made it!
(My sister still maintains to this day that I did die, but was just too stubborn to move on to the other side! lol!)
Thanks Trisha....eye opening!!
I lost my parents, separately but both while I was in my twenties. Organising funerals at that age certainly brings your own mortality into perspective. All of a sudden, there was no one to run to everytime I had a problem...no bolt hole, no safety net.....no huggs
but being alone gave me a sudden opportunity....
I HAD to grow up, get my arse into gear and get out there and go for it....because you are so right, we are on this planet for a blink. I got my panties on, made my face up and got the hell out into the big wide world....
wreckless???, thoughtless???...no, I decided to live my life the way I wanted, while i was still here, but at least I will never die wondering......it's an old cliche, but life really is TOO short, and you should grasp the chance while you can......
Grace 💓💓
Ms Bass.....I'm certainly glad you found cdh.....and that I found you xx
What an interesting post Trisha and lovely replies. Bobbiesue you are an inspiration to us. Thank you for posting as you can show how a loss can make you reevaluate and turn around your life to be a happier and stronger person.
Mrs Scarlett same here sweet friend you as many ladies here have a big spot in my heart that can never be refilled as you can never be replace love you girlfriend ..
Stephanie Bass
Hi Trisha,
It's a great post sweetie, death certainly make you take stock of your health and direction of life..
I lost may wife not that long ago, cancer. There is no bigger hole than the loss of family.
So many plans end suddenly, and your alone, that wife, lover, best friend and companion in life gone. I always liken it to walking into a lit room and the bulb blows total darkness.
As many rightly say here life is so precious and so short, find what you enjoy and do it before it's to late. Amanda xx
Hi Trisha,
I'm of a certain age, that I attend or am aware of more funerals than weddings. In a perverse way, deaths are wake up calls, a reminder of our mortality, and a prod to cutting through the routines and conventions that we all too often unthinkingly adhere to.
There's already been plenty of sensible thoughts posted. I'll hopefully offer another general purpose one for people here to consider.
A friend dying is sad enough, but an SO dying is a whole new ball game. My advice to anyone in this so-sad situation is DO NOT take radical decisions in the immediate aftermath. Grief takes time to work through. There's no magic therapy or prescription drug that can shorten the process. Grief can lead you into strange places. They are not good places to make logical and sensible life style choices.By all means entertain ideas of 'what next' and explore them, just don't rush headlong into implementing them.
Morbid Marti xxx (not really 😉 )
