How did you beat your shopping fears?

It took me a while to pluck up the courage.  One day I finally bit the bullet and walked into a women's clothing store.  When the SA asked if I need some help, I came clean and said I was shopping  for myself and I was look for..... I could hardly get the words out of my mouth.  She made me feel at ease and treated me like one of the girls.

I found the more I did it the easier it got.  I also realized I was not the first guy to buy a dress for himself and I am not the last either.

It happened for me by way of wanting a bra. I kept ordering ones that just didn't fit despite my best efforts and I finally realized I needed some help so off to the store I went with my forms in tow. It went well and has been easy ever since.

Hello Cynthia,                   Well I started way back in my early twenties, by then I thought I should stop keep wearing my Mums clothes & buy sum of my own. I now that how most CD start, but it is not nice keep borrowing them, so get some of your own. So I said to myself if you want to wear more female clothes than you just have to go out & buy some. So I went to M & S & bought my first pair of knickers of my own, it went ok, better than I thought. Now this was some 30 odd years ago & people where not so broad mined as they are today, but as I say it was ok. Yes, now people except crossdressers in male or femme mode, going into shops & buying female clothes [that is when they reopen after lockdown] so I am glad & pleased that you overcome your fears & can go out & buy your female clothes, & carry on enjoying your crossdressing.   love,  Helenmarie

IT's best to go with other people --& model the clothes in the store--one gets over their shyness fast-

Great post Cynthia,

I think overall is was just going out and doing it more and more.

Nervous at first??? OMG YES!

What I did notice after a while was people where at stores doing there own thing, seriously not paying any attention to others. People barely look at others except for an occasional quick glance.

Unless you are wearing something that really stands out or are acting weird you are simply a Surrounding. A step back here though-if you are very tall you will draw some attention but otherwise until you are face to face with another person it's a none event.

Dress appropriate and start at thrift shops or go with a friend for a while. Before you know it you be out on your own.

Have Fun,

Sandy

Hi Cynthia

Like everything else relating to our wonderful obsession I started shopping for Bianca stuff very gradually, very nervously.

Now I can’t believe how nervous  I was... or why?

Now(well pre lockdown)I have no qualms at all, and realise nothing bad is going to happen. And that all sales staff will go out of their way to help. They WANT to sell stuff to you, man or woman.

In fact I now wouldn’t have any problem telling sales staff it is for me, either they will be thrilled and inquisitive or think you are joking.

Go for it, so much fun!

❤️Bianca

When you realize that nobody really cares why you are buying the items, it gets really easy.  I was never the first couple of times but then I realized that people don’t care and now I can’t imagine even why I was scared.  So go out and have fun and be happy.
hugs
Rosiebeth.

There were two distinct occasions that stopped my fears of shopping. The first was at Kohls, I was looking in the mirror at a pair of pants I tried on and a female store clerk saw me in the dressing room and walked in and told me they are too baggy. She took me to the women's section and got a few women's pants to try on and the fit was amazing. I realized the sales associates don't care if you are shopping for your SO or yourself. They just want to make a sale and are very helpful if you just ask them. The other was one day I was dressed as Sandy and just decided to go shopping at a mall in the next town. I went, had fun and no one noticed or if they did they didn't care. So from then I go shopping as Sandy any time I want, which is quite often.

Sandy

JUST DO IT !!!!  People will respond to whatever vibe you emit. Your calm will bring out their calm. Likewise your anxiety may cause them to become anxious too. Just like a good attitude and a  smile is contagious.

Just do it, who really cares, have some fun with it.

I’ve only shopped for feminine things a couple of times. Years ago I was shopping at v.s. for something for my wife and was so nervous. It was a gift for valentines or her birthday, this isn’t a strange thing for a man to do but I remember feeling so hesitant speaking to a sales associate. I’m sure I was nervous because inside I wanted to get something for myself. Other than that I’ve only bought hose at the supermarket. Trying to sneak them into my cart was a bit nerve racking for me. My other purchases have all been online. At the end of the day these fears are foolish , S.a. don’t care what you buy as long as your buying something.

This is based on my own experience :

I still remember the first time I went shopping for Wendy.  I was sooooo nervous, as I thought everyone in the store was looking at me, pointing and wondering why a guy was shopping in the women's section.

Even when I started taking stuff on the rack and adding it to the basket, I was still fighting my nervousness.

There was no self check out back then, so finally it came to the part to pay for it at the cashier.  I put my stuff on the counter, she rang each item up, and for some reason I asked if she had a gift box.  I can't rememer what she said but she put all the stuff in the bag, I paid for it, and out I went.

Looking back, no one was looking, no one was pointin and wondering why a guy was shopping in the women's section, and the cashier just saw me as another customer to ring up.

As someone mentioned, start small.  Go to stores that have no sales staff like Walmart, start browsing there as you know no one will approach you asking for help.  You can browse to your heart's content.  After a while, then branch out to more specialty stores that may include sales staff.  That way you can slowly build your confidence and realize that no one really cares or bat's an eye.

Hi Ladies , At the time i got so tired of waiting 2/3 weeks for things i ordered , i just went to a local K Mart , closed now , and just went it and made my purchase . I didn't say who it was for i just made the purchase . As time went on it got easier and i started to just browse and take my time , it was wonderful and i was a bit nervous and always took a deep breath when i got outside , but i said to myself , hey this store wants to sell things and they don't care who purchases them , its the sale that matters . People paid me no mind , they were in a hurry and went on their way .I was only one time questioned and i paid no attention to this person , i will not be harassed by no one . If you have a look and act like you are supposed to be were you are no one cares . Men buy women's clothes all the time , i see it happen . When the wife needs something and the hubby is out he gets something for her . So you want to purchase something just buy it . Wal Mart has self check out , thats perfect . Enjoy your day out , have fun . Leslie

My final push was when i went to second hand stores to shop i could not either get the size or style i like. Kif the bra was besutiful it would be wrong size or right size wrong style. So i Called up a Pennington store (they bought out Additionelle) and i started to talk to the sales person. Asking if they still had this and that and other items. I tgen just asked the sales person " are you crossdresser friendly?" OMG!!! THAT OPENED A BUCKET OF HAPPINESS!!! The lady said they would love to help me and the best times to come in if I am too nervous. She also said they have helped many guys pick out clothes and outfits to try on. I even asked for a bra fitting and she was so excited to help out.

Now I just go any time of the day to Pennington and they know me in drab. They said they would like to see me come in fully enfemme!! Gawd i can't wait for payday to get here!!!

Basically I just ask the stores are you crossdresser, tg friendly. If so i go shop if not I tell them they just list a 300.00 sale.

I had one ignorant try and make me feel bad. My response was " you better be more perfect than God as he will judge you like you judge others" they usually leave in disgust or just walk away as I smile brighter than the sun!!!

Stevie

Surprisingly no one ever really asks me and I never say why I am there. The only place I was recently asked if I needed help is when I was browsing the makeup aisle, I just said "No, I have a list, thank you".

Cynthia