How did you overcome the " meeting someone" fear?

Neha, I'm nowhere going out en femme, let alone meeting a fellow CD in person (although I've had one very sweet offer). However I have had two makeovers. There are two issues for a closetted anxious girl. The first is to find a suitable opportunity. In my case I waited until my family went abroad both times. I don't know your circumstances but hopefully you can find time to get away without having to be too devious.

The second, as you mention, is nerves. I was in a right state on my way to my first makeover. I very nearly turned the car round and went back home. I forced myself through it and had a good chat with my MUA, explaining the sort of thing I was looking for. I was feeling quite ridiculous, being the inelegant lump of a man I am. But slowly, as my makeup went on I began to relax and as various wow moments happened (false nails, false lashes, lipstick) I was able to start really enjoying the experience. Add a nice dress, heels, a wig and jewellery and I was in heaven. You have to remember these people are professionals. They do this all day every day. 

Second makeover, just flounced in in an excited girly whirl and got on with it 😂. A makeover is a complete no brainer for girls like us, as you'll have seen from me and a couple of other girls here recently. I do so hope you manage to work things out for yourself hun.

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

I agree, I am looking to getting a makeover next week while the wife is away. Having one done at Ulta, Sephoria or Mac counter are not private enough, let alone getting and put under the public eye.  This is where having a wing lady woudl be awesome

@nehak

Ermm ... actually I just got to the door, was let in as easy as you like and straight in to a long girly chat with Tracey, even while still in my drab.  Then the makeup, then the hair, then the dresses ... bliss 😊
What an experience, every girl should find a really warm and personable MUA, she was so good!

That's awesome Fiona 🙂 You look gorgeous! 🙂 

Posted by: @Anonymous 89914

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How did yall overcome the meeting someone anxious/fearful feelings for a makeover or a for a chat.

You're not the only one, Neha. My answer is 'with difficulty'. As regards a makeover, from the realisation I really wanted to have one , to actually getting there, was still a set of 'what am I doing?' stages. I set up a separate email to communicate with my chosen dresser, work out how to use a Paypal account to send a deposit, contrive a way to absent myself for a day without being missed, and so on. It seemed fraught at times. But I somehow I hung in, got there, and had absolutely no regrets ! Setting up and going to my second makeover - a different place and a different person - was much easier and a whole lot less anxious.

We're all different, we all move at different speeds. I obviously work at a snail's pace.

Don't beat yourself up. You'll get there ! 

@nehak I can assure you that no one cares nearly as much as you fear they will. Even then, those that might will at most take notice and make some mental note. The odds that anyone actually has the temerity to confront you verbally is unbelievably small.

My first meeting with a CDHer was AMAZING. We had a fabulous time, became fast friends, and have met up 3 or 4 more times - and will again next weekend! I love her like a sister! @alexkokokline ❤️ 

So...given all of that - that you could be sitting there missing out on these fun, affirming, fulfilling times of your life - why not just do what you want to do? 🙂

Neha, I was just as scared and nervous getting my first makeover.  The biggest part for me was actually scheduling it.  After I did that and put up a deposit, I knew I’d never back out.  (I’m cheap) Plus, I actually went to the studio and met the makeup artist in person.  She put me completely at ease.  I knew that it was something I’d wanted to do all my life, and if I didn’t do it, I’d regret it for a long time.  Then the best part was that I talked one of my fellow CDers from CDH into going with me, which made it a truly memorable time.  I’ve never had any regrets about doing it, and you won’t either, so my advice is just find a place and a makeup artist that you are comfortable with and get it scheduled, you’ll love it.

I go out often but avoid interactions as much as possible.  The only people I have ever had a conversation while out were at wig shops and makeup stores.  I felt that these venues were more open to my presence.  I have never gone out as Diana to meet anyone and am very scared to do so. 

Hi Neha,

Having only recently ventured out for the first time En femme as Joanna I still can’t believe I actually did it! I have on many previous occasions got fully ready and not managed to take that first step…. The nerves have got the best of me!
All I can offer in anyway of help is, plan and take a very small step at a time. As many girls have done and still do I imagine, just plan a drive out dressed. The overwhelming feeling I have experienced personally has only spurred me to continue, it is one of the most scary, but rewarding experiences of my life. Going for a makeover would be a wonderful experience, to meet up with other girls from CDH in a safe environment would be truly wonderful moment I’m sure. These are steps further down the road for me at the moment, but hopefully achievable.

Hugs Joanna 💕

Thanks Joanna. I'll do that. 🙂 You look very pretty 🙂 

Hi Neha. I try to act without thinking much beforehand. This is how I avoid backing down. Along the way I usually realize that many fears were unfounded (There are others that are not, but that affect other decisions more).
But sometimes I have taken advantage. Because of the fear of makeovers, I have learned to wear makeup better.At least that's what some young women would have me believe.  

Gisela

I had my first makeover about six years ago. The opportunity presented itself when the wife was away for a week (circumstances familiar ladies?). I had an agenda to learn makeup techniques and a sexy dress (fell in love with the LBD ever since) my makeup artist has a private boutique and I loved being pampered during the session.. if anyone has the opportunity go for it it is such a wonderful experience.

I find all of the comments helpful but also believe fear is usually based on something that has an element of truth, so it is often wise to be cautious. If in doubt I call ahead. I'm glad I did when looking for a wig, because when I revealed I was a crossdreser I was told I would not be served. I'm sure most would have responded differently, but I want to allay my fears before having a negative experience in person.

I also think that it is wise to avoid going somewhere close to home where one might be spotted and potentially outed unless confident this won't happen.

Even if it turns out there is nothing to worry about, the experience may be more enjoyable if the concerns are put to rest before walking in the door. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I have been going out a long time and would go just about anywhere without a second thought. Still, I tend to be guarded and not inclinded to engage in conversation unless I know I'm not apt to be outed or not accepted. For me, calling ahead confronts such fears with less risk. I WOULD go to a place like Sephora or a MAC counter who I know train their SAs to be accepting, although a MAC counter is usually in an area attracting a lot of traffic so I would not do this locally. I'd be more inclined to call ahead and schedule a session at a time and place I know would offer privacy.

When I travel I usually stop at a nail salon somewhere en route to get manicure, pedicure, and brow wax, especially if traveling with my SO, who herself might be recognized, drawing undesired attention to both of us. If getting a makeover she might be unhappy if I did this solo. She never got nails and other stuff done before meeting me, but is now accustomed to such privileges and believes she should be treated at least as often as me! Even if dressing at home I'm conscious of what she is up to. She likes to garden, but is not particularly happy if she comes in dirty and sweaty to find me in a dress. Ditto when she returns from a shopping trip and expects help unloading. And lipstick or wig at home crosses a boundary that to her causes her to see me as a woman rather than a man in a dress, so a makeover, in my case, would not be possible without careful planning for a girl's day out or at least one of us is traveling. She is traveling this week, but I'm not inclined to get dressed and go out unless with company, as that's part of the fun of it for me. 

Thanks so much Rhonda! Im definitely considering a makeover services atleast 300 miles away 😊