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[Note from Valentina: I have taken the bold step of submitting my “Q” as an article instead. Not yet approved in any way shape or ‘form’, but those of you who managed to read it before I took it down will remember the exquisite nature of the lyrical prose, surpassed only by Wordsworth himself who did (I will share) sit peacefully writing about a host of daffodils, not a million miles away from where I am writing this to you now. lol.
Seriously, I hope it will be acceptable as an article, and in the meantime, I wanted to keep it fresh as a bunch of daisies for y’all.
The basic Q was, you chose stealth out of necessity and perhaps shame. Is that ultimately best for you and your mental well-being.
Answers on a postcard please. 💚
i don't know about you. but all it took me was to dress up like a woman for Halloween and go to a block party with 1000 people. walked through about 10 bars on that block. then decided to walk around the street for a couple of blocks. some guy yell out (to bad you won't be able to do that tomorrow). wrong thing to say to me. i've been going out ever since. never was in the closet. the rush was so strong that i knew i wanted to keep going out dressed. glad i didn't take forever to get started. now i go and have been every place imageable.
It was the stealthy for me that was so unhealthy. Being stealthy for the first 20 years of our marriage did my head in and led me to some very dark places. I hated the lying and I would be so down on myself and ashamed as while I didn't think I was the only crossdresser in the world I thought I was one of very few weirdos. Coming out to my psych and wife and now my kids was the best thing I ever did. That was way over 10 years ago now. I realised I wasn't weird. I no longer felt guilty or ashamed and realised it's just who I am and that's ok. I can now be fully open and honest in our marriage and while we have had some hard times coming to terms with me being gender fluid my wife accepts that is a part of me and is happy to work with me to allocate female time for me even though she has said she doesn't want to see me dressed.