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Congratulations Mia!
I had that talk with my wife last summer. I was so worried things might go bad. I worried for nothing. Although she didn't know about my secret desires, she was extremely supportive, suggesting I get my ears pieced, and sleep in a nightgown if I wanted to. Although she prefers that I don't wear my heels, forms or makeup around her yet, I do wear dresses, skirts, leggings, and jewelry just about every evening.
We were always pretty close, but since I told her we have been even closer. I let her know just about every day how grateful I am.
Isn't it awesome to have that weight of hiding everything off of your shoulders?!
I hope you can both enjoy Mia together often! After she has time to process that is.
Lara 
Lara!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me—it truly means a lot. Reading your words gave me goosebumps… that mix of fear, hope, and then this deep, beautiful relief when love wins out. It’s so encouraging to hear how open and supportive your wife has been, even with her own boundaries. That balance is so important, and it sounds like you’ve both found something really special.
And yes—absolutely! That weight being lifted… it’s almost hard to describe. I’ve felt lighter, freer, and just more me than I have in ages. Like I can finally breathe in full color.
I’m so happy for you both, and I hope your connection keeps growing even stronger. Sending you and your wife all my love—and cheers to nightgowns and leggings and quiet, joyful acceptance.
Warmly,
Mia
absolutely! That weight being lifted… it’s almost hard to describe. I’ve felt lighter, freer, and just more me than I have in ages. Like I can finally breathe in full color.
I love it! It is such an incredible feeling, isn't it?!
I hope your journey brings you both joy in the future, and you both become even closer too!! 
As Bod Dylan wrote, "Times, they are a changin'." Young people these days are much more accepting of alternate lifestyles, at least here in the US. Mt daughters, 30 and 34, don't even give such things a second thought, while my generation still struggles with such things.
JJ, thank you for this. I really appreciate your perspective. You’re right, things are changing like Dylan said, and it’s encouraging to see how much more accepting younger generations are becoming. It gives me a lot of hope for the future!
That said, I know it hasn’t always been easy, especially for those in your generation who’ve had to carry so much more stigma. Your willingness to reflect and share means a lot.., it shows a lot of heart and growth. I’m really glad we’re all here, learning from each other.
Mia
I'm so happy for you Mia . Coming out had to be scary. And having the courage to do it is a big deal. And to have a positive outcome is even better.
So... do you see picking out wedding dresses together anytime in the future? All 47000 CDH members will want to catch a bouquet.
Lydia!! Thank you so much. You’re absolutely right... it was terrifying to come out, but now that I’ve done it… wow. The weight off my shoulders is unreal, and I still can’t quite believe how beautifully she responded.
And haha, wedding dresses?! You’re getting ahead of me! 😅 But I won’t lie… the thought of us browsing dresses together one day kinda makes my heart flutter. If that ever happens, I promise to throw the bouquet extra hard so all 47,000 of you have a shot! 💐
Big hugs
–Mia
What a perfect Easter Mia! In the Intersex Community that I'm part of, besides using the term Intersex to describe ourselves we also use the term Two Spirit or 2S. When my wife and I first discussed my intersex condition that I had hidden from her she was quite concerned about the future of our relationship. It took about 3 years before we were able to both come to terms and embrace the changes in our lives. We were able to make it into a positive experience and have been married for 42 happy years. I'm full time and travel around the country giving presentations on what it is like to live as an intersex person and my wife is now my biggest help and supporter. As others have noted, it may take more time for everyone to get completely comfortable with the changes that have occurred so be patient, loving and talk and learn as much as you can. Safe Journey, Marg
Marg, thank you so much for sharing this with me. Your story is deeply moving, and the love and strength between you and your wife is beyond inspiring. Three years of navigating such personal truth together, and 42 years of marriage... that’s a beautiful testament to patience, resilience, and unconditional love.
I feel honored that you would share part of your journey with me. I’m still at the very beginning of this path, and your words remind me that it’s okay to take things slowly, that love can grow with change, not despite it.
Also, the term Two Spirit really resonates with me; thank you for introducing that. There’s something powerful and affirming in it. I’d honestly love to hear more about the work you do when you travel and present. You sound like a true light for the community.
Wishing you continued joy and connection on your journey. I’m so grateful for your kindness
–Mia
@mialanieri Hi Mia, Thanks for your kind words. The term Two Spirit was a term in use by Indigenous People when Europeans first landed in The Americas to describe what is also now known as intersex. Sadly the Europeans worked very hard to destroy the concept and eliminate any Two Spirit people. Fortunately the Indigenous peoples were able to hold on to that part of their culture and keep the Two Spirit concept. If you get a chance to read my profile you can learn much more about my personal journey. I usually speak at Keystone and Atlanta Comfort Conference so if you attend please stop into my session. Also you can PM me any time and I'll try to answer your questions. Safe Journey, Marg
Hi Marg,
Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story and history—it truly means a lot. I really appreciate your openness and kindness. I’ll definitely check out your profile!
Wishing you continued strength and peace on your journey.
Warmly,
Mia
That's a great news Mia, Congratulations! Even my heart was beating while reading your post and I am glad you made it girl!
Jasmine! Thank you so much, your message made me smile so big! I’m so touched that you felt it along with me… it really was such an emotional moment, and I’m still kind of riding the waves of it all.
I’m so glad I shared it, and even more grateful for all the love and support I’ve felt here. Feels amazing not to be alone on this journey.
Big hugs!
–Mia
Wow Mia thank you for the update!! So thrilled for you and your girlfriends beautiful future ❤️ ❤️
Natalie!! Thank you so much. I’m still kind of floating from it all, it’s been such a beautiful, emotional whirlwind. And I’m feeling so lucky and hopeful about what’s ahead.
–Mia
Mia,
I am so happy for you both!~ This is what everyone of always love to hear and hope for with our spouse/SO. Keep us posted on your progress.
Leah, thank you so much! I’m honestly still soaking it all in—the support, the acceptance, and just the feeling of being seen. I know not everyone gets to have this kind of moment, which makes me even more grateful, and I don’t take it for granted for a second.
I’ll definitely keep everyone updated as things unfold. Your encouragement means the world
Big hugs,
–Mia
Well Mia, I didn't exactly pave the way. I've kept to the shadows mostly. I still do to an extent, except in forums such as this. But for me part of the fun is staying under the radar, "getting away with it."
I don't think I'll ever come out except among the CD community. I'm okay with that. Things are a bit more loose these days, so I'm having more than my fill. I do wish I would have had more opportunities to dress up when I was much younger and could more easily "pull it off", though. Or perhaps I wish I'd tried to make more opportunities for myself.
At least things are a little easier for the younger girls. Truth told, I think it's girls like you paving the way. With timely help from some of the women in our lives.
Thank you for your nice reply.
Rayna
Rayna, thank you so much for this. Your honesty really touched me. There’s no one right way to walk this path—whether we’re out in the open or finding joy and freedom in the shadows, it’s all valid. And I truly admire how you’ve carved out your space in a way that feels right for you.
I think we bloom exactly when we’re ready—even if that’s later than we once imagined. And the fact that you’re here, being part of this community and lifting others up with your words? That absolutely is paving the way! 😀
Mia
@mialanieri I have to giggle a bit about the irony. I came here thinking I'd get some support and guidance (which I have), and now you tell me that I'm helping you. That makes me very glad and it's wonderful for you to say so. You've inspired me to get "back in the groove", at least a little because as I write this I'm partly dressed. Well, maybe mostly. I decided to forgo makeup because it's a work night. I've been a bit off track lately, not doing things Rayna wants to do because Brother has a whole lot of things he has to do. And with the warm weather coming. I have to start growing his fur back or I'll have some 'splainin' to do. That's why I think you're so lucky, you have a safe haven at home with a supportive partner. But no need to burden you with my woes. Just keep having fun, and I'll try to squeeze in a little of my own.
R
Rayna, this made me smile and tugged at my heartstrings. Thank you for sharing it with me.
Isn’t it funny how support loops around like that? You come looking for comfort and end up giving it too. I think that’s one of the most beautiful parts of spaces like this—we lift each other up just by being real.
I totally get what you mean about getting off track—life can be so demanding, and it’s easy to let our softer sides take a backseat to the stuff that "has to" get done. But I’m so glad you took a moment for yourself, even without the makeup. Just being Rayna, even partly, is powerful. And honestly, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing your own kind of joy, shaved legs or not.
And thank you for calling my home life lucky—it really does feel like a gift. I don’t take it for granted. I’m cheering for you every time you get a chance to be you.
Mia
Mia, Felicidades!!!
Thank you so much, Staci! That really means a lot to me!
Big hugs, abrazos...
Mia ✨
It couldn’t have gone more perfect! I love how this went for you and wish that it could be the same for all our sisters! You have a beautiful future ahead of you with a wonderful girlfriend! I’m so happy for you!!!🥰
Lisa, thank you so much! Your words gave me the biggest smile. It still feels a little surreal, honestly—I keep replaying the moment in my head and just feeling lucky. Like I’ve been holding my breath for so long, and now I finally get to breathe.
I wish the same for all of us too. We all deserve to be loved for who we are—every part. I’m holding space for that hope, not just for myself, but for every sister here.
Big hugs,
Mia
All the best to you seeetie! 🥰
