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I have several photographs of me dressed and in most of them, I find I don't look too bad; in fact in some of them I almost think I can 'pass' at a distance. Bouyed by my confidence, I thought, "I'll take some alternative photographic angles." Ah, now that might have been a mistake. From the front, I look ok but from the side, I can see my ancient jowls and my turkey neck.
Now I've seen what others may see, I think I can do something about it using clothes, scarves (I already do this), makeup and careful posture; a longer wig would help; but not too long as long hair doesn't really suit me as an older woman.
I thought I'd got it but I see I have work to do.
A woman's work is never done.
Becca
@rebeccabaxter Becca, we are always a work in progress. It's all about the journey, not the destination hun xx.
@rebeccabaxter I can so relate to this. I think what we all have in common is that we all consider ourselves a work in progress and are terribly self-critical.
I think it is worth experimenting with different ideas or complexion colours or contouring as well as accessories.
Anna x
@rebeccabaxter Just like GG's we get to agonize over our aging features. How wonderfully girly. I find that a nice smile minimizes a lot of faults. However, pictures I have taken of myself accidentally where I have a serious look are down right scary and clown like.
@michellemybell I’ve seen a number of pictures here a really good looking girls, but none of them smiled.
A big smile is one of the best accessories you can have in a photograph. Of course, I like some of the corny looks, side eye and smirky little smiles too lol
@juststevie Stevie, I just find it so hard to smile to order. Particularly with the lips open. Any tips? xx.
@chrisfp99 Sometimes I’ll think of something funny, but I just try to smile as big and as cheesy as I can. My partner will give me hell if I don’t smile enough in pictures lol.
I just think a smile is something so natural and compliments. Any photograph. I personally think you got some great facial shots in your makeover, even if you didn’t throw a big cheesy smile on.
I have a number of facial expressions I like to do in pictures. I can’t really explain what I would call them, but some of them are serious and some of them I deliberately like to be a little funny. I always like to do some shots of side eye look or rolling my eyes or looking up at something with my mouth open like I’m amazed, lol The “hey!” facial expression like you’re happy to see someone I think always looks good.
When (I’m not going to say if, I want to be optimistic for you) You get the opportunity to dress again and have pictures done, give it a whirl. You are beautiful and that will definitely compliment. Your already smashing looks. ❤️
@juststevie Stevie, you are such a sweetie. It's a real struggle for me but I think I just about got away with it in my makeover pics. I'll try throwing caution to the winds and see what comes out. Thanks honey xx.
@michellemybell yes, a smile is the most important accessory a girl can have.
@joanarbour Absolutely. I've done a teeth-whitening process over the summer and I'm much the better for it, I didn't realise how little I smiled as male me but the teeth were some of the reason why. The full-beam (as it were) looks a bit strange and gawky on my male face but on Fiona it just works wonderfully 🙂
@michellemybell Totally agree, my smile as Fiona changes the shape of my face entirely and in all good ways. 🙂
@rebeccabaxter I'm with you sister. these isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel that improvement is required. There is a degree of frustration involved but I also see it as a challenge to address my "issues". In truth, I'm my own biggest critic so this type of thing is an inherent part of my personality.
@rebeccabaxter I always seem to be on the hunt for that “perfect pose” where the angle, lighting and facial expression Come together. Sometimes everything will, but My hair didn’t cooperate or I’m not crazy about the way The outfit looks in the pictures.
But that’s the fun part. You can experiment, and figure out what works best. I’m starting to put together a short list of outfits that I need to do “reshoots“ with. These are outfits that I love, but when we did pictures, either we didn’t get very many, the lighting and angle was bad or I hated the way my hair looked
My partner and I did a lot of pictures today, and we had a glitch with the phone and ended up having to delete them all. We learned some lessons today though, and it will just give me an excuse to dress up again and do more pictures lol
It’s always gonna be a work in progress
@rebeccabaxter I sympathize with you. Those of us getting along in years have a lot of concern with our appearance. I am sometimes told that a GG my age usually doesn't have hair much past her shoulders and many embrace thier graying hair. But I do plan on getting my hair colored (thinking a vibrant red) and a trim to just past the shoulders. Makes me happier that a lot of people guess my age 15 to 25 years younger.
One thing that bothers me too is the droopy skin on the face and neck. ALTHOUGH I don't worry about my Adam's apple showing because that is almost completely hidden.
Ah, the droopy skin. Moisturiser, foundation, concealer and a scarf is about all I can do to hide it. Silly thing is, all I do would also hide an Adam's Apple, but I just don't have a visible one.
@loneleycd One dresser showed me her tape around her temples under her wig. A quick, temporary face lift.
@harriette yes I've had this done in my recent makeovers. It really lifts the eyes in particular xx.
Difficult for me to do, I haven't worn my wig for years now. I have been going out with my own real hair. I am proud of my long hair and probably will just go with that until the time my hair starts seriously receding. This helps me in that I never have to worry 'is my wig adjusted right '.
Cassie
@rebeccabaxter Oh I know. I can't pass no matter what angle I look. I'm going to need a lto of hair removal before I can even think about makeup and the like.
I used to look at photos of myself and think, "why didn't I do this in my 20s?I was so much more fit!" or "yeesh, that looks terrible and *that* - total yikes!"
But one day someone I didn't know well was telling me that all of those things about me that I tried to downplay or minimize were exactly the thing that they really liked about my look.
I really stopped and pondered that and it made me realize that: whatever I had to work with at this moment, that's what I've got and loving that was important. It doesn't mean you can't look to improve some things, but...the enemy of good is perfect.
If one looks at themselves as an eternal project, then they don't really get to sit back and think, "I feel really good about this!" because they're always on to the next fix.
I think you're doing great, @rebeccabaxter !
I know the feeling about 'why didn't I', but it's always a case of coulda, woulda, shoulda. Well, I didn't then, but now I am, so I'll just get on with it.
Like the comment 'the enemy of good, is perfect', commonly attributed to Voltaire, I believe.
Fortunately, I have a history of attempting something with imagined perfection only to end up saying "Sod it, that'll do, it's good enough". I shall pursue that ideal with my look 🙂
Hugs
Becca
Becca, this is off topic but I closed the glitch one. I wanted to say thanks for your idea about trying to log in on different pages. I've found, so far, that if I go to the main CDH page, I don't get the grey screen. Fingers crossed it stays that way 🤞
Allie x
@melodeescarlet @rebeccabaxter
the enemy of good is perfect.
Melodee, that is Brilliant! I've never heard that before but it's just replaced my own go to responses, ("good enough" or "that'll do") to any criticism. I'll share it with my daughter as she often complains that her husband is a perfectionist and it can drive her nuts.
Allie x
@rebeccabaxter was correct - it's Voltaire 😉 My mother drilled that into my head since I was a teen, but it can be profound if you take it to heart!
Oh yes, perfection is great for aspiring to but trying to insist on it may be, no will be hazardous to one's mental health!
Thanks again, Melodee.
@melodeescarlet I often find some of those little “imperfections“ to be really hot in a photograph.
It’s what makes someone look human and natural. I would much rather see that than a photograph where it’s obvious it’s been heavily retouched. Anybody in today’s Internet age can look “Perfect”. Looking beautiful, naturally, however, is a different matter entirely🥰
We are our own worse critics Becca. If we looked at every little flaw we believe we have we'd never go out. It was the same for me and was always self conscious. A friend agreed to accompany me out, when we were wandering around I asked if she was comfortable and she replied,'If you didn't look as good as you do I wouldn't be here, now don't worry, you look fine'.
Becca what Angela said is so right. (Beat me to it Angela :)) We are by far our harshest critics. Women have turkey necks just as much as men so while it may be something you want to work on it certainly won't make you look any less feminine. As for your jowls I have seen a few makeup Youtube videos that show how to use bronzer to make your jowls less distinctive.
I so agree that a woman's work is never done but that is part of the fun. 
@oliviac A 3 Way Mirror, 360 Degree View is a must for me, you all so make some good points about video tutorials, and yes it is fun. hun.
Becca -
Take a trip to your local market and look at the cis women walking around - I'm sure you look better than some of them. Just remember that the women in fashion magazines and TV are professionally made up. I think that we are our own worst critics, as others have said, and are constant works in progress. All one needs ot do is look at the size of the cosmetic sections of stores to realzie that all women think the same. I'm actually surprised that drug stores aren't called cosmetic stores that sell medications as the cosmetic section in some of them is bigger than the medication section. Accessorizing does help to cover some of the "flaws" we see in ourselves.
XOXO
Suzanne
Suzanne is dead right about observing women in everyday life who may not look as good as you do when out dressed, I think the thing is that we have to make the effort to look good otherwise we just appear as a man in a dress, but because these days a lot of women very much dress down we are more likely to stand out as perhaps being overdressed or over made up. i guess it's a judgement call on how much make up you wear or how formal you dress.
Gina
Remember a photograph is a moment in time. There is no changing expression, no body language, no 'you'll look different a moment later' like there is in real life. Even professional photographers take many pictures and select the ones that look best.
As others have said, you can't worry about perfection, because you'll never get there. There is a trans woman named Amy Schneider who was a superchampion on a trivia game show called Jeopardy! When you watch her on TV, her voice sounds feminine. But I've also heard her on a podcast about the show, and at times you can hear a touch of the masculine in the voice. Even those who are so-called experts can have moments where they have work to do.
After losing a lot of weight last year, there is extra skin around my neck. Most of the time I ignore it, and a couple of times I have used clear medical tape to pull it tighter and cover the tape with foundation. It depends on the look I'm going for, as well as where I am going. I'm not going to do it for a daytime look in the summer when sweat and oils will make the tape pull off, but I may do it for an evening look when I want to look good in a photo. You can also push out the chin to tighten the skin for a photo.
