I had the conversation last night

Communication and patience.  Those are your best tools, both in this type of situation and in general :).  good on you for having the conversation, it's never easy (until it becomes easy lol).

Xoxo, kate

Tina.

I'm no therapist, no expert, but I do have opinions.

I would expect that after the 'talk" she will need assurances....

You are not gay, which is often perceived....whatever you are wearing, you still love her and want her and nothing has changed....it's still you, the man she married, under the dress...

It's not the end, but it's a start and see how it goes from there....

just my humble opinion, best wishes,

grace x

Wives and significant others in our lives’ play  major roles in one’s crossdressing journey.

Hi, the questions below should help you see things from a Significant other’s point of view. When I came out I didn’t even think of how this would effect her. I only knew of this ever scratching need to present as femme in some way. This is a complicated emotional rollercoaster. Some of the questions can’t be answered by you alone, only together will they be answered. Communicate well and remember to include your Significant other. no secrets allowed here.

This list by the way only scratches the surface, be ready to listen, be understanding and always follow your heart.
• Will I lose him because he is going to want to become a woman?
• Will I lose him because he is really gay and wants to be with a man?
• Does my being in love with him mean that I’m a lesbian?

Hope this helps the list comes from a book called Head Over Heels human sexuality Virginia Erhart
• Will others think I’m a lesbian?
• Is his gender variance because of something lacking in me?
• Will his desire to explore his femininity escalate?
• Will I ever regain trust in him?
• Will I ever get over my jealousy of “the other woman(you)?”
• How can I gain some control in this relationship?
• What else has he deceived me about?
• What about the kids?
• What about our families?
• What about his job?
• What about me? I feel so alone.
• What about the money spent on clothes and beyond?
• Will he ever not experience gender variance as the center of his life?
• Why do I have to do so much of the accommodating in this relationship?

Some SO’s will want ZERO to do with your crossdressing and you after they find out…. I say F- ‘em! Find an SO that loves you for you.

-SR-

Slow and positive conversations, and remember one crucial point it's not only about what you want. Listen to her needs, address her fears. For the pain you feel about wanting more freedom is equal to pain of her inner turmoil of the future not only for her self but the kids too. One thing I learned from my family is they still needed quality time with drab dad and husband. Not only did that show my family I was still underneath the same person, but also helped them trust and accept my needs too, and Amanda was no threat to the stability of the family unit. Honestly it's often a difficult road for all to travel,and sacrifices and compromises are required by all.

Perhaps you could say...honey, its you I really need in my life. Everything is on the periphery.

My wife doesn't like, or understand my cding. But she knows I have her back.

Cding can be extremely narccistic and self absorbing, to the exclusion of everyone and everything else.

We need to ensure we give our partners the same level of love and attention they need from us, as we expect, or want from them.

I think the number 1 priority is that our SO knows we have their back. (Of course this works both ways. )

That list of questions is “ spot on!”... I had them all.

Forward a year and a half, I love my husband even more now and those questions are the furthest things from my mind. I feel completely loved & wanted more than ever.

Hi Mary Jane, I’m finding and I believe my wife is beginning to see that I’m becoming a better partner even with just underdressing. I know she see’s that I’m more feminine than I was but also more understanding and just flat out happier. She hasn’t said but I think she likes the new me. 💋💕 Katie

Spot on Samantha. 💋💕 Katie

I would love to take the time to comment on each answer as they are all very well put when it comes to the initial conversation and the follow through has to be genuine.  when I first came out to one particular friend, he struggled for a long time. visual and our social upbringing plays a significant roll in how our mind process challenges. he finally said it was the visual that got him because it did not line up with my male character and lifestyle and it brought more questions. the one thing I did discover with this friend was more of me because his questions required me to reflect deeply and honestly into my soul...because we were so close friends we did agree to walk together for a season and it was through that partnership that both he and I grew to understand ourselves so much more intimately, not sexually, and though we have taken different paths our bond for one another became stronger.  the second thing this season did for us was give us more of an understanding of what others go through and the social stigma attached to this lifestyle.

thank you for such a wonderful topic and I look forward to more.

I think I will hijack your list for personal use, you have posed so many good questions I can adapt into my own personal journey, if hijacking is illegal then I will just copy and paste it.  thank yo

I agree, with all the suggestions, but just want to offer one more. Show her, in your mannerisms, etc, just how good a girlfriend, you CAN be
Hugs, Regine👸💕

I thought I would show respect to my wife yesterday and not have it as the first day I dress en femme on our 22nd anniversary. Today I started the day in leggings, bra breastforms and top. We went on with the morning like any other. I installed a dishwasher and she suggested I change my clothes as they may get in the way. I started wearing them but quickly realized she was right and changed into drab clothes. We were looking at Kijiji where someone was selling brand new clothes. She needed some shorts for work but also saw women's clothes. She commented that I might be interested in some of them. After the dishwasher I changed into a new skort instead of leggings. Everyone is acting the same as when I wore drab. I am happy about day one.