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I have a 'label' it would appear

16 Posts
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Posts: 1341
Topic starter
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Following the reading of an article in which the author remarked on their gender fluidity had me thinking about my own gender.

I am male, I like being male and I have no intention of changing from being a male, and yet I like to wear women's clothing, I like perfumes and jewellery -- and of course, shoes! So why is this? Well it turns out I am probably bi-gender; I'd never heard of this. It is not the same as non-binary, transgender, gender-fluid et al. but a definition all it's own and might explain why I like doing both male things and female things. Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia which I found quite interesting:

Bigender (also bi-gender or dual gender) people have two gender identities and behaviors. Identifying as bigender is typically understood to mean that one identifies as both male and female or moves between masculine gender expression and feminine gender expression, having two distinct gender identities simultaneously or fluctuating between them.[40][41][42] This is different from identifying as genderfluid, as those who identify as genderfluid may not go back and forth between any fixed gender identities and may experience an entire range or spectrum of identities over time.[43][44] The American Psychological Association calls bigender identity part of the umbrella of transgender identities.[45] Some bigender people express two distinct personas, which may be feminine, masculine, agender, androgyne, or other gender identities; others find that they identify as two genders simultaneously. A 1999 survey conducted by the San Francisco Department of Public Health observed that, among the transgender community, 3% of those who were assigned male at birth and 8% of those assigned female at birth identified as either "a transvestite, cross-dresser, drag queen, or a bigendered person".[46] A 2016 Harris poll conducted on behalf of GLAAD found that 1% of millennials identify as bigender.

I particularly like the reference to masculine and feminine gender expression as my persona does change depending on my mode of dress.

I'm not a big fan of labels as such but it's nice to know our activity as cross-dressers is recognised and not seen just as an aberration. 

 

NB I do prefer the annotation bi-gender and not bigender, the latter being able to be pronounced 'big ender' which may not be very flattering 🙂

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15 Replies
1 Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@rebeccabaxter Hi, Becca, I agree it is good to see crossdressers given some status as a group, however diverse this group may be. I've always railed against anyone labeling me but, if it helps with recognition and acceptance of crossdressing as a legitimate life choice then so much the better.

I am also struck by the similarities between us, and others I've met here. I too am content to be male... as long as I can express the female part of me. Now that includes buying myself bits of jewellery to go with my outfits. I've found that trying to deny or bury that part causes me real emotional problems and general grumpiness 😩.

Thanks for an interesting read 😊

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Posts: 4018
Lady
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

Interesting term, and thanks for the data, too.

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Posts: 1461
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I'm going to have to read some more about this.  One of the Savannah Hauk books I bought recently has a section on gender as a spectrum and various description/label points on (or off) it, which I read but didn't stop to analyse too much.  On reflection, that could use some closer study.  I currently think of myself as male with a pronounced feminine streak, but that wasn't really one of the descriptions that I remember in the book, and it may even amount to more than that.  I'm enjoying being Fiona immensely, I can almost not think of anything else, but I realise I need to take the time and devote some serious thought, to be sure of the relationship between her and my drab self before I can present us both properly to the world.  Thanks for flagging it up hon 🤗 

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Posts: 28
Lady
(@laurensp)
Trusted Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

"I currently think of myself as male with a pronounced feminine streak..." is a good way to describe me. I'm not sure where I'm going or how far.  I could wake up tomorrow and say "I'm done with Lauren" but I doubt that's going to happen. I like being Lauren and exploring my feminine side. I guess I take things one day at a time. There's my .02 cents.

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

One day I am George at Asda then the next Izabel of London then Florence and Fred or even Joe Brown I'm quite fluid with labels............

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Posts: 2111
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Becca -

Thank you for posting this. This is the first time I have heard the term bi-gender. As the definition appears I would have to say it applies to me. I am male but love presenting as female and expressing that part of myself. I only dress at home, however, having pierced ears allows me to express some part of myself outside the house. There are also times, admittedly very few, where I will underdress. Being able to express this part of my self is freeing.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 1079
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Humans are nature's labelmakers. Our brains have developed to a point where we are so good at making little boxes that we have to go and find things to put in them.

I can understand that a name identifies a thing and that in one's quest to figure out who they are a label helps solidify a mental concept, but the fact of the matter is that a thing without a name is still the same thing it was before it was named 😉

I am glad that this gave you some comfort - now keep being the youest you that you can! 🙂

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Posts: 851
Duchess
(@missylinda)
Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I like the word, and the description.  If I must be put in a group, let it be this one.

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Posts: 362
Duchess
(@kdmon)
Reputable Member     Fort Myers, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Thanks Becca this really strikes a chord in me. I have found that ignoring or denying either side of my personality only leads to me becoming miserable.

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Posts: 174
Lady
(@butteryeffect)
Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I have identified as bi-gender for a few years now and for me the term helps to articulate my internal feelings. I don't really regard it as a label, i.e. something stuck on me by others, but as a shorthand way of expressing the very complex things that are going on inside.

As i have said many times before, I am always me no matter how I am dressed, I don't have personas, I don't think of the other "me" in the third person. I can think about typically male things when presenting female and I can buy flowers and lipstick when presenting male.

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Posts: 2075
Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Rebecca,

I myself don't think we should all be labelled, I think the only label we should have is my name IS , please put your own name here, 

Labels are for clothes not people, shoes go in boxes not people, 

This is only my opinion, I respect other people's opinions, we are what we are, I'm a man who likes wearing a dress now and again there's nothing wrong with that, 

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

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2 Replies
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1341

@rozalyne Unfortunately, whether you like labels or not, you are going to get one. I don't necessarily mean in the gender world, although there seem so many LGBTQ++++++ etc. as well as Cisgender (so even so-called 'normal' people have a label), but also in your race, your colour, your creed, your nationality, your job, your class. Everyone has a label so it's best to embrace whichever ones you have and make the most of them. If bi-gender suits you, use it, if not, well, you can't stop others from using it I'm afraid.

Personally, I rather like the term bi-gender, it suits my two personalities very well.

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2075

@rebeccabaxter 

Hi Rebecca, 

I like bi-gender myself so I'll keep that label, 

Hugs Rozalyn X 

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Posts: 829
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

The only feminine thing about me is how I often present. I prefer , in the most part, to dress in female clothing. Around the house I'm usually in a skirt and a top. If I'm going out, I try to present as a female. Hair, make up, jewellery, perfume etc, but I do not change how I act. I never feel feminine. I don't change persona. I'm always the same me however I look.

In guess that I'm a crossdresser. 🙂

 

Cerys 

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1341

@dazzler

I do change. I'm not a very chatty person when male; I go to shops, do the absolute minimum to get what I want then go home. I don't have friends, I have acquaintances and I don't spend much time with them either, I prefer my own company. When I go out shopping en femme, I browse, I ask about things. It seems I'm far more approachable when I'm not portraying as male, perhaps I'm less threatening -- I do normally have a rather stern look which might make me look unfriendly. I don't smile much as a man but as a woman, I smile so much more (it feels rather strange really), I will talk to people and interact more than I have ever done. I really do feel like Rebecca and not the male me; I feel I can be two distinct people but neither of us yearns to take over the other, we live together in complete harmony, taking our turn to operate this one body.

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