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Hi Ladies,
I just had another wonderful shopping experience at Torrid. They were having a 40% off sale and who doesn’t like a good sale. I bought a new pair of boot cut jeans and a black and white plaid blouse. But that’s not what this thread is really about. What this thread is really about is that feeling of frustration I get every time I’m in a store and find an outfit I like. I have a little angle on one shoulder and a little devil on the other, both whispering in my ear.
The angel is the practical one who tries to talk me out of making my purchase. She says things like ...why are you even wasting your time and money on this stuff. You are never going to wear it. Let's face it … you can’t really wear it around the house because your wife is around. She barely tolerates this side of you. You can’t wear it around town because you live in a small town, and you don’t want to be the subject of everyone’s dinner conversation. You can’t wear it for a night out because you don’t go out. You might be able to wear it at home for a few minutes when wifey runs to the store, but that’s really about it.
The devil, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. She’ll say things like OMG! You look so good. You can certainly wear this around the house or maybe when you go out with some of your CD friends (I’ve met a few sisters, but we’ve never had a GNO). You know you really want it and it does look good on you. A girl can never have too many clothes. And it's on sale.
Anyway, you get the idea. Most of the time, the angel wins. Frankly, I have a dresser and closet full of clothes, a drawer full of nail polish, and a box overflowing with makeup which I will never wear anywhere. I get so darn depressed because I know the angle is right.
Occasionally, like yesterday, the devil wins and I buy the outfit. I was in need of some retail therapy and I get such a euphoric feeling walking out of the store with my new found treasures. On the way home I get to thinking (always a bad thing) … here’s another outfit which will stay stashed in my drawers never to be worn. Then I get all depressed.
How many of you ladies out there know what I’m talking about?
-Robin
I have a 200 lb angel on my shoulder known as SO. Her biggest criticism of Lorraine is “ you have way too many clothes, and you spend too much money”. And “ you dress in strange outfits”. Not fair! It’s my money too.
Hi Lorraine,
My wife is barely tolerant of my dressing so I'm careful what I wear when she is around. She only sees the tip of the iceberg.
Thanks,
-Robin
I know exactly what you are talking about and lived that way for decades and accumulated so many outfits and clothes that I never wore. You said it well as it was just the feeling of being able to purchase the clothes in that experience it gave you just made you feel good. But I ended up with a huge mishmash of different clothes and a lot that really didn’t make sense for me on the way I went to work.
so when I came out to my life I wanted to get much better cut my outfits with definitely some fun outfits but a lot that what a normal woman would wear both casual and dressy. So that caused me to purge a lot of my clothing and shoes and start to learn more about what looks good on me. I hired a fashion stylist which sounds fancy and it’s clearly not an expensive but when you factor in learning about what works best for you And actually makes you look better you end up buying less clothes but the right ones. It’s made a huge difference and giving me so much confidence and getting out when you look and feel good. I honestly think I have a decent wardrobe for what a woman would have and I’m building on it.
Hi Robbin,
I listen to that devil way too often! Since I am not really “out” to my SO it’s all hidden yet. She does know about some leggings, and nail polish, but not the rest of the collection. You are so right about wearing each of these things for such a short time before putting it away long term. We know we shouldn’t make the purchase, but that devil is a sweet talking cutie, and always convinces us to make it! She talked me into a pair of hot pink leggings yesterday, and a matching cardigan today. Of course when we do get a chance to wear these beautiful things, we always feel like getting more!
Yes, I know exactly what you are saying!
Lara
I'm lucky that I can dress whenever I like. I'm also allowed (and encouraged) to buy clothes of all varieties..... I own a number of sparkly dresses, cocktail dresses, and some "posh" frocks.... I rarely get the chance to wear any of them, and they are not the sort of dresses that you would wear as part of a normal day... On the plus side, my wife goes to a lot of posh events... She will often borrow my dresses, so they do not go to waste 🙂
Cerys
Living on a large acreage means one is not confined so much to going out enfemme. (Our farm is bigger than most suburbs.)
I love skinny jeans. And jeggings. High cut / high waisted suit me well and I'll wear them into town. (I find the small pockets and lack of pockets in the jeggings frustrating at times.) I have a few unisex tops which are suitable for going into town. Last winter I picked up 2 shirts from the mens section of St Vinnies. A heavy tee shirt and the other a flanny shirt. Both were womens.
I have perfected a no makeup, makeup style for going into town. Discipline of having a light hand is always a tension. But I have no interest venturing into town fully enfemme.
It was cold yesterday and I wore a bra under a flanny shirt into town. Bloody straps kept sliding down my arms. Time to retire it. With frustration I took it off.
I do understand having had to hide everything away in my dark ages. The behavioral truth is that this devil and angel scenario is perfectly normal for women, the same as 'cake or no cake'. Even now I cannot pass by something that immediately calls me over, was it the devil on my shoulder? The angel seems somewhat muted as another purchase is made as she has all but given up. The basic frustration you have is shared is too many clothes and not enough opportunities to wear them but at least you have them and perhaps the opportunity may arise in the future as it used to be like that for me in the past.
I feel your torment girlfriend. I did have the talk with my eife 2 years ago but Bree definitely doesn't get enough sunshine. Try and speak up for Robin. I wish I could impress upon my wife my desires but I don't speak up for Bree.
Good Luck on your journey.
Hugs
Bree
Odd that I saw this today because I was deciding what to wear when we go to friends for thanksgiving. I choose a shirt that needed to be washed but when looking for the pants, they had fallen behind the lower closet bar. Reaching for them I found a blouse, cardigan, and 2 pair of pants, all of which I still haven't worn yet but loved buying them at the time. The devil made me do it!
I have a DADT relationship here at home. I really only get to dress when I can get away on my own. During those periods that I couldn't dress. I discovered that shopping helped ease my disappointment over not dressing. I mostly had to shop online but when I'm away and dressed shopping in person is such a wonderful experience. Emotionally it's just so rewarding to me.
Fortunately/ Unfortunately, that girl inside me has a hard time saying no.