I wish shopping was easier

Hi Vanessa Marie, Just last Sunday, I was at a department store in the women's underwear section.  I was in male mode, picking out some shapewear briefs for myself when I was spotted by two friends, (husband and wife). holding a pair of shape-wear briefs. The wife said to me said to me, 'they'd look good on you'. I was already holding pantyhose and women's 'v' t-shirts.  They then went on their way with no other comments. I thought to myself, 'If only they knew that I was a crossdresser. I was not at all worried, Each time I go shopping for women's clothes/lingerie, I am confident and positive. I am sure that real women have that 6th sense, and can pick up on 'males' that shop for themselves. Knowing what one wants to buy is a help.

Vanessa.....you will overcome your shyness with practice and experience. Keep the faith girl.

Lady Veronica

Yes Lady Veronica,  I find that it gets easier each time. when shopping in the women's section.  I'm dressed in male mode, and like I mentioned. If one is dressed in male mode, know what you want to buy, as not to draw attention of security or sale-staff,  to one-self.

Hi Vanessa, I too do much of my shopping on line, however I often buy Tights (pantyhose) makeup and underwear in male mode and have never had any comment from anyone. In fact when browsing the makeup isle, in male mode, I was pleasantly surprised that no one took any notice of me. Once, when buying underwear in Marks & Spencers, a couple of young girls were looking at me and giggling, I just concentrated on what I was doing and carried on. Lady Veronica is right, as you build up your confidence you will find it easier, take it in little steps, you will get there in the end.

I mean yeah, pretty much just have to do all my shopping online for this reason. Some of us are bold and do buy stuff in stores, but I think you just have to decide what your level of comfortability is. What I'd really like is if when I'm out shopping with my wife, maybe I'll throw a cute dress into the cart for me, too! In reality, though, I very rarely buy stuff for myself, from the men's or women's department. Too many other things to blow my spending money on first, plus I love to spoil my wife and buy her new things.

Sorry. What is it you are doing wrong. Positive mind set. Take the bull by the horns. Go in pick what want. Lift it and ask is there anywhere I can try this on.

I do understand your struggles, Vanessa.  It took me months before I was comfortable shopping in person for myself.  I have always preferred shopping in person as I hate having to return items.  Being able to try different items on is helpful to ensure proper fit and style.  What I always found interesting is that I never felt nervous shopping for the women in my life, only for myself.  I felt like the other patrons knew that I was shopping for myself, which makes no logical sense.  I still occasionally have some nerves when shopping, but even that is slowly going away with each experience.  Experience is definitely the best cure for nerves.

I will have to disagree with several members here.  The only negative remarks and looks that I have received were from my fellow patrons.  The sales associates at each of the retailers that I visited have been nothing, but helpful and courteous.

MacKenzie Alexandra

<p style="text-align: center;"><p style="text-align: left;">I believe in the comments that say it takes time to build up confidence when you are out shopping for yourself in male mode I have been asked if I needed any help in the women's department and I just said no I'm doing fine looking for something for my wife my wife is much shorter than me but nonetheless they don't know that</p></p>

Hi Vanessa Marie

I too was terrified at first when shopping in person for clothes, make up etc. After a while I realised people don’t really care, they are too wrapped up in their own lives, and the shop assistants want the sale.

Last year I saw a beautiful Summer dress in a local supermarket and knew I had to have it, so I drove to another branch of the store in another town where I found it in my size. It was tagged ( damn ) so had to take it to a manned till rather than self service. I decided that if the female assistant serving me asked, I would simply say it was for myself, she would think I was joking. She only commented how lovely the dress was, I agreed and left with a warm happy feeling.

The buzz of shopping in person really is worth it.

I usually drive to nearby towns where nobody knows me.

Supermarkets with self service tills are great, as long as the items are not tagged.

If you worry you may bump into somebody in a supermarket with incriminating stuff (bras, heels, foundation etc ) in your basket buy a newspaper to cover it, something I have done in the past😂😂😂

Relax, relax, relax, just say what you are buying is for you, they will think you are kidding !

Good luck,

love

Bianca

Bianca,

You make a good point. I'm so caught up in my head that I don't think I could just play it off with humor. I really want to get to that point. I just need to step out of my shell.

Thanks,

Vanessa

I was out recently in male mode. Purchased some capri's and a top. Waited until the dressing room cleared to try them on. Nervous for sure but i had to take the next step. Funny when cashing out the cashier (female) asked me if i needed a gift receipt. No there for me i replied!!!Oops i got a shoulder bag too! Getting more relaxed everytime!

I bought a pair of pink flats online from long tall sally, and to save on shipping I had them sent to the store. Of course, that meant I had to walk into a women's store and say "I need to pick up the shoes I ordered."

I did just that this afternoon and the sky didn't fall. The associate who helped me was very friendly, and asked if I wanted to try them on first or just take them home. I opted to just take them home, but as soon as I got to my car I regretted not taking the opportunity to try them on in the store.

Next time...

(They look great, btw)

I have been shopping in thrift stores recently. Oten find some adorable outfits and best of all inexspensive. Only once did a cashier ask if I found what I needed and then said the blouses I had should look cute. Wasn't sure where she was going with that but had a big smile and then winked saying see you again soon.

I know what you mean. I always hate getting exited about a new dress just to have it arrive and can't get it to zip up.