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In the Closet

41 Posts
24 Users
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Posts: 21
Lady
Topic starter
(@cdfrances)
Trusted Member     Somerville, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

I have a question for those who are married and secretly dressing. Where do you keep your clothes and things? I keep mine in a bin in my garage or trunk of my car. It's crazy. I want to find a closet and maybe a dresser for my stuff but how do I do that?

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40 Replies
10 Replies
Lady
(@amysmissy)
Joined: 5 years ago

Estimable Member     Warwick, Rhode Island, United States of America
Posts: 48

@cdfrances I have a large toolbox under my workbench where I store my things.  Anyone asks and its just old tools I never use and thats as far as the conversation ever got.

You could try a storage place.  A few places near me have some lockers that look to be about the size of a closet.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 93795)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 189

@cdfrances perhaps an old dresser in the attic, or basement- but those are so similar to your present situation. You are in a difficult position. Are there children at home or just you and your SO?

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(@cdfrances)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member     Somerville, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 21

Thank you all for the suggestions. I see I'm not alone with this dilemma. Ir is just my wife and at home. I will continue storing in a bin on a shelf she cant reach. I'm going to dress today and enjoy the day.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@cdfrances

I keep my stash in some plastic boxes in the loft. 
The number of boxes has grown to be far more than I ever expected.

Fortunately the loft isn’t easy to get into, and my wife has only ventured up there twice in the 20+ years we’ve lived in our house.

As for the coming out to your wife comments, I expect you know your wife far better than the rest of us here, so I’m sure that if that was ever to come up you’d ask our advice.

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@cdfrances 

There's a lot of ways girls approach this problem.  You'll know best what places are safe from being discovered.  Then it's just a matter of getting the containers you need to properly store your stuff.  Plastic storage bins are a good choice.  Some girls opt for a storage unit.  That can double as your private dressing space if it's big enough.

I think the bigger question is can you come out to your loved ones?  It lifts a huge weight and gives you a lot more freedom.  I personally HAD to come out to my SO to preserve my sanity.  The weight of hiding became too much to bear.  I was in a very dark place.  She didn't freak out when I came out.  We settled into a DADT, which isn't ideal, but I did have the freedom I needed to figure some things out.

Best of luck!

/EA

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4019

Posted by: @lizk

Some girls opt for a storage unit.  That can double as your private dressing space if it's big enough.

Do you mean a self-storage unit?

If that is what you mean, even though there are maybe half a million of them around here, they aren't cheap.

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@harriette 

Yes Harriette.  A self storage unit.  I realize they can be pricey in some places.  But it is a solution that works well for those that can afford it.  I know there are a few gals here that have them.

/EA

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(@christineth)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Brussels, Brabant, Belgium
Posts: 747

@cdfrances

Frances,

I used to keep my stash in a ‘secret’ compartment beneath a large old cupboard, then in a cabinet at the back of a very tidy storage room.  My wife knew there was something in the old cupboard, but never ventured to find out what.  But she found my clothes/shoes in the storage room one day when she was looking for something else.  There followed a few difficult weeks, but I was lucky and my wife became accepting.  The biggest problem was that she wondered if there were other secrets I was keeping from her and it challenged her trust in me.  

We are good now, but it was difficult at the beginning.  So I would suggest, as other girls have, if you think it’s going to be ok, you should tell your wife.  It is difficult to explain just how liberating it is and how it makes dressing an even greater pleasure (and by many accounts, we become more relaxed and easy going and that is often appreciated by our wives).

But only tell her if you think it is the right time.  Once you tell her, do not confront her with being dressed until she is ready for that, answer all her questions honestly and completely and give her lots of time to come to terms with it.  Also, don’t promise to stop dressing - it never works and it will just lead to more mistrust.

It is difficult, so tread carefully and slowly.

Good luck, hugs

Christine

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Guest
(@Anonymous 93795)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 189

@christineth Beautiful response….

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1742

@cdfrances When I was hiding stuff, it was first in the crawl space of the half basement. It was tucked just behind the wall by the entrance. When I moved into another home, I kept things in a half-closet under the stairs (yes, like Harry Potter's room), that was otherwise never gone into. It was eventually discovered there.

One time I had to pick up clothes from someone who was no longer able to dress. They had a degenerative neuromuscular disease and needed to get rid of their clothing before they were unable to do so. They kept the clothes in a dufflebag and a leaf-blower carton high up in the garage, where the spouse would never look.

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Posts: 1733
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Frances, I can't help you. I don't have any clothes at home. I only dress when my wife is away, usually once a year. It's next month and I'm so excited! I buy two or three complete outfits and then purge before she returns. Expensive and frustrating but that's the route I've chosen xx. 

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Posts: 326
Lady
(@splitdecision)
Honorable Member     Doylestown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Francis, for years I keep my stash at my workshop/office. But when sold the property last year I had to adjust. First I downsized my clothing and lingerie collections ( I tell myself it wasn’t a purge) I now keep my smaller collection in a looked tool type chest in my work shed at home ( I toss in some dryer sheets or scented soaps to keep them smelling fresh) since I underdress most days I keep a smallish tool bag in my work truck with panties and a few bras for easy access. I will sometimes bring in a few panties and hide them in my dresser. I enjoy putting panties on when I first get dressed in the morning. But if you think your wife or SO may look through your things I’d skip this part. Every closeted cd has gone through this dilemma. I’ve had to adapt and change my plans quit a few times through the years. 
just be careful and use common sense if getting caught would be a major issue.

Natalie💋

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2 Replies
Lady
(@ria)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 330

@splitdecision That is how things are with me too.

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(@brendastevens)
Joined: 5 years ago

Estimable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 102

@ria things we just have to do keeping our pretty things in places that are safe and quietly hidden. I'm fortunate in that I do keep most panties, a slip and some nighties in a bedroom dresser but my bras, dresses, heels, more nighties and panties are stored elsewhere...and breast forms!!

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Posts: 189
Guest
(@Anonymous 93795)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

I’m right there with you Frances. I’m a bit daring, I have everything in my closet in a bin with my work gear piled neatly over it.

My wife isn’t tall, so going vertical is always a good option I’ll try later. I like your idea of the tool box. Just consider it like a military footlocker. 

this is life in the closet definitely. If I find myself alone for an extended period of time, I’ll hang everything, but until then, back in the closet. Thanks for sharing.

 

Tamiya

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Posts: 471
Lady
(@krisburton)
Prominent Member     The Hub City, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I've got to agree with Julia - coming down in favor of full disclosure. To me, anything else is much too stressful , especially for something that is harmless and supposed to be pleasurable. Anything else is dishonest and sneaky, never a good look if you should get "caught" - and it's likely you will eventually. A tough convo to be sure, but you may be surprised at the result, and then you will both be free.

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Posts: 326
Lady
(@splitdecision)
Honorable Member     Doylestown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I don’t disagree with full disclosure. If you go that route be prepared for the outcome. It may be fine but I know from experience it probably won’t be. I say this from experience and the experiences of other gurls I’ve met through the years. If you’ve been with your wife or SO for a while or a long while you should have a feel for how they would take finding out there husband loves to feel fem and were women’s clothing. I was sure my ex would not accept it and was proven correct. I wish that wasn’t the case but unfortunately it was. 

Natalie💋💋

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Posts: 174
Lady
(@butteryeffect)
Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I think people know their SO and probably can gauge whether coming out is an option.

As for stashing things, depending on your house construction the sub-floor can be an option. I have carpet tiles in one room that are easy to lift and replace, under that I have cut some floorboards and have a good space for keeping things.

As others have said I also keep some smaller items amongst my boy clothes

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Posts: 57
Lady
(@krissykitty)
Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

I'm in the same boat, I was out with my SO but then my kid cane home most of krrisys things a in a travel bag in the closet, but I have been in secret for a few so my wardrobe is in a small bag in the car not back out of the closet with the So but I'll be having a temu order showing up soon!! 

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Posts: 1
(@criselda)
New Member     lleida, LLEIDA, Spain
Joined: 4 years ago

Yo lo guardo en el garage, en un caja, en un sitio donde no creo que lo encuentren, Y todo es lenceria

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9 Replies
(@cdfrances)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member     Somerville, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 21

@criselda no hablo Español

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Guest
(@Anonymous 93795)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 189

@cdfrances I think Criselda said, “I keep it in the garage, in a box, in a place where I don't think they can find it and everything is cool.“

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@criselda 

Hola Criselda.

Estuve en una relación durante quince años. Durante todo ese tiempo purgué toda mi ropa.

¡Siempre me habría preocupado que no importa dónde escondiera las cosas, las encontrarían!

Ellie x

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(@cdfrances)
Joined: 10 months ago

Trusted Member     Somerville, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 21

@ellyd22 no hallo espanol

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@cdfrances 

Sorry Frances!

Criselda said: 'I keep it in the garage, in a box, in a place where I don't think they'll find it, and it's all lingerie'

I replied: 'I was in a relationship for fifteen years. During that time I purged all my clothes. I would have always been worried that no matter where I hid things, they would be found!'

Hugs

Ellie x

 

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

I'm intrigued by the clever and sometimes devious approaches the girls here have devised to hide their girly stuff. But for me Ellie is right. If I had any gear anywhere at home the missus would come across it eventually. Also I just wouldn't get anything out of a furtive couple of hours dressing when my wife goes out. Too stressful. I need time and a relaxed state of mind to fully immerse myself in my feminine side.

So it's either my current approach, or come out to my wife. Trust me, that would result in divorce, and I don't want to put my kids through that. The financial implications of that are also daunting. So for me I'll only dress when she's away. Next month for 10 days. Of course such an infrequent approach does mean that these rare opportunities are so exciting, and, shall we say, intense. Can't wait!

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

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Duchess Annual
(@chrissydee)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 83

@chrisfp99 Chrissie - I am right there with you, but my dressing occasions are even less than yours.  When the opportunity does arrive, The anticipation keeps me awake for several nights in advance (which requires a lot of extra concealer).  Once the date is identified - an outfit comes next (PO Box), carefully chosen along with any necessary accessories.  Make-Up videos are saved and studied. When the time arrives, I fetch my boxes from storage and the fun begins. If I can get 2 or 3 days of consecutive dressing in - I’m a very happy girl.  Worst is when the anticipated event that was to  bring my wife out of town gets cancelled.  Ughhh. 
The talk ain’t never gonna happen, as for me, the risk far outweighs any possible reward. 

Chrissy

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

Hey Chrissy, it would appear we have more than a forename in common. Btw for an occasional crossdresser you scrub up pretty well. Some gorgeous looks hun. I only have an opportunity to dress about once a year and, like you, I'm so feeling the anticipation of my 10 days next month. I look at it as a fun and exciting diversion from normal life. Yes, I'd love to be able to dress more frequently but I've learnt to live with the choices I've made.

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

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Duchess Annual
(@chrissydee)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 83

@chrisfp99 Indeed - and enjoy your 10 days (and thx for your nice words).  Look forward to your posting some highlights.

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Posts: 330
Lady
(@ria)
Reputable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

My en femme wardrobe is in my garage but my underdressing clothes are in my closet either hanging or in drawers. My makeup is also in a drawer.

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Posts: 21
Lady
Topic starter
(@cdfrances)
Trusted Member     Somerville, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

Ladies, thank you all so much. I have 2 cases in a large bin labled summer clothes in my garage. High enough that only I can reach without a ladder.

As far as telling my OH it isn't worth risking. I will drop subtle hints here and there to get a tempature.

Thanks again.

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Posts: 362
Duchess
(@kdmon)
Reputable Member     Fort Myers, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I had an old computer case that I gutted and put my stuff inside then stored in my basement. Eventually my wife showed up early and caught me dressed. Divorce city followed within a couple years

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3 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4019

@kdmon Computer case: stealthy, but limited in size.

I am thinking that cell phone tracking has saved a lot of people from getting in trouble, and not just crossdressers.

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(@jamiec)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Vienna, Austria
Posts: 50

@harriette There are very big computer cases 😉

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(@jamiec)
Joined: 10 months ago

Estimable Member     Vienna, Austria
Posts: 50

@kdmon OMG, me too. We had many cases standing around and my wife never knew, what did what. I could even lock it. Perfect in my opinion.

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Posts: 2039
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Ladies,

I'm in the DADT camp. "She knows but does not want to know". I have my own bedroom "up the other end of the house" and my lingerie and sleepwear, (depending on the season, plus hosiery in winter), is "hidden in plain site" in my dresser and wardrobe.

I underdress 24/7 and as for dressing sessions, a/. occasionally at home when she goes out for the day, b/. when I "get desparate" I have a 3m(10ft) sq storage unit where I can have a session with the door down. Its also where I keep the rest of my "girly stuff" dresses, skirts blouses cardigans etc etc and accessories like shoes and jewellery.

Until late last year, I also had regular charity volunteer overnight trips, where I could get my "full Caty on". But since then my creaky old (and painful) lower back has had other ideas.

NB I did get caught by the old "she came home early" thing last September. It giot a bit frosty 'round here for a few weeks, but things have returned to "normal"... I'm not happy about this, but at this stage 'TINA"  There is no alternative..

Happy dressing

Caty.

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Joined: 7 years ago

Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 2039

I should have added that I "got lucky, (very lucky) with my storage unit. Unlike most "black holes",  it has a window, plus light and power. So I made it comfy with carpet plus a chair and desk.

Seasonal fan heaters and coolers, plus a hot water jug for coffee and packet soup. I also keep about half of my wine collection down there and one of my guitars and vintage amplifier.

(Caty has yet to "rock on", gotta do that in drab..LOL.)

 

Caty.

 

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Posts: 138
(@ajthairms)
Reputable Member     Poole, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I store my girl-stuff in foolscap box files; these are kept in amongst my hobby stuff where my SO does not venture.

I have a limited amount of space but sufficient room to store the things I need to dress a couple of times a month.

 

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Posts: 47
Lady
(@sonal)
Estimable Member     Dallas, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I keep mine in a 5X5 storage unit, which also serves as an emergency dressing room when I'm unable to dress at home. It was large enough a few months ago, but I've collected a lot more clothes and shoes since then, and it's getting quite tight in there! I'm considering moving to a larger unit but the cost is quite high and I don't think I want to spend that much.

Sometimes I bring some items home from the unit and keep them in a locked suitcase inside my closet. I'm not married, but I do have other family living with me so there's a slight risk, and I've managed to stay hidden so far. 🙂

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