It happened to me…

Paula, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I think you handled it very well. Not sure how I would have handled it, but I would like to think I would have been calm like you. I know I’ve been a few places in Georgia where  I was very cautious and only used the ladies room if I really had to go.  I hope some day people will understand better.

Jeannie💋

Given that I do not mask that I am a man regardless of what I may be wearing, I generally use the men's restroom when I am out and about.  Given the option, I will elect to use a family restroom especially if I may be wearing a dress to avoid any hassle.  In the few times that I have presented as a woman, I will use the women's restroom, and have done so without trouble. I do, however, understand the concerns identified among the posts here.

MacKenzie Alexandra

Paula , i would have done as you did . Getting up in someone's face never helps anything . I think you did the right thing . I wear some make up at times , maybe a nice blouse with jeans , never a dress , though i have considered it and i just go in the men's and use a stall , i have panties on and have to sit . Most times i just hold it . I have had some people take a sec. look but no problems so far . I don't like confrontations and try to avoid it . I think you are very brave and i say enjoy being your self , and i also think you pass very well . Your cute . Leslie

Not a pleasant experience to endure but no one else joined the fray. From what you say the manager did a good job by remaining impartial to diffuse the situation and you still got to get the soda.

I am not sure if you committed an offence under the law. It would depend on in which jurisdiction the event took place. On the other hand, I am pretty sure that the 'lady' in question did commit such an offence as this is clearly assault.

Equally offensive is her assumption that you are a 'perverted' when, again clearly, her behaviour lacks any objective validity or integrity and was extremely unethical.

But it does go to show you that there are a lot of people who assume that the presentation of any gender is necessarily improper simply because it does not meet the criteria of their limited and really perverted sensibilities.

I am glad that somebody knew how to behave like a lady.

Araminta.

Awww thank you ☺️

Oh gosh....

I'm so sorry you faced that...but how good were you!!!!.

You could have reacted quite differently and really stirred up a hornet's nest....

Well done Paula...cool, calm and collected.

Hugs, Grace x

The difference in the generations is stark. Youngsters nowadays are so much more accepting. That mom has a thing or two to learn from her daughter.

Well done you for standing your ground.

❤️Bianca

Thanks for sharing that story, Paula. I work in an after-school program that attracts many trans youth. Very often, as soon as the trans youth arrive, they rush to our bathrooms. The reason is that they have been "holding it" for fear of using gender-specific bathrooms in public locations en route to our facility. Fortunately, in recent years, many day schools have offered unique bathroom accommodations for trans youth, even if it is using the one-seater handicapped bathroom.

Hi Paula

Thank you for sharing your experience.
This has never happened to me but now I am in a second mar with a lovely fully  supportive wife, I’m at the point where I want to venture out again . Not been out for a long time as Steph.
The only problem I have is my wife has said she never wants me going out by myself. The reason being she is a criminal lawyer and has come across all sorts of people and cases. From people being assaulted to various comments/arguments. So my wife worries about my safety which in a way I totally understand.
It just means she’ll have to come with me when I go out.
Steph

I’m in agreement with you’re wife, safety is paramount when we go out.

The lady that reacted that way is ignorant, plain and simple.  Although I can understand her reaction, I cannot excuse or condone it.  That type of behavior is unacceptable.

To be honest I am too Paula. You never know how some people are going to react to us. Best be safe.

You as well sweetie 😚

Similar nonsense has happened to me, although it was several years back and involved no yelling.  Like you, I used to plan my days around bathroom availability so as not to make anyone uncomfortable.  One of the ways I did that was to often visit Subway restaurants.  They have single-user bathrooms with a locking door.  Although they are marked Men and Women, I figured the single-user part would dissuade any objections.

One day I ordered a sandwich, claimed a table, and used the Ladies restroom to freshen up, alone and with the door locked.  Upon returning to my table, I witnessed another customer having a conversation with an employee, presumably the manager, who then made a phone call.

A few minutes later, as I sat there eating my sandwich, a couple of police officers arrived, spoke briefly with the employee, and came over to speak with me.  As they asked me for identification, I could hear whispers coming from people in the background.  It was humiliating.

I don't know what wouldve happened had my identification been marked with an "M", but fortunately I had mine changed to "F" long ago.  The officers apologized for the inconvenience, informed me that I would be cited for trespassing if I didn't leave right away or if I returned.

The world is changing, but sometimes not fast enough.  I'm sorry you had to endure such behavior. There is still a lot of work to be done, a lot of ignorance out there still.  Know that you are not alone in your struggles.