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Let me start by saying I have a supportive family. At least on my wife's side. Wife, mother in law, kids n grandkids all know about me dressing. I bought two kinds of bras. Ones for use with breast forms the other for use without. Our granddaughter came to stay with us for two weeks. She's 12 and wears a 36 B. All she had was the one she had on. I go n grab five of mine that are for use without forms and asked her to try one on. Perfect fit. Everyone in the house is fine with it but there's a part of me that feels this is wrong. I talked about it with a friend at work that knows I dress. He says it's a new age. Doesn't see anything wrong with it. Despite everyone's reassurance it still feels weird. I feel like I've done something horrible. I've bought her cloths before and didn't feel this. I've given her tops that i bought for myself but accidentally picked up 1 size too small, i didnt feel it then. Am I overthinking this and getting myself upset over nothing?
It's just a garment Sarah. You helped your granddaughter. She thanked you and was okay with it. I don't see an issue here.
Honestly, I think it's pretty cool that you were able to do this. I also think your granddaughter is mature beyond her years.
I can understand that it feels weird. But I think you're overreacting. It helps to talk about it. Starting this topic was a good idea.
/LK
@sarahl To me, it feels like an honest act of selflessness. So long as nobody else is concerned or upset, it sounds as if you can relax.
Hi, Sarahl, I understand how you might feel that way, I think many adults are wary of doing anything with or for children that may be perceived wrongly. It's unfortunately part of the zeitgeist now.
However, what you did was out of kindness and love, that's never wrong. Don't beat yourself up about it and be glad that you've got such a great family.
Allie x
My response is rather simple: Did anyone even question what you did or are you 2nd guessing yourself? Did the 12-year old make any comment? I hope that all she'd say would be,"Thank you". If they all know that you dress, what's the concern, especially if you've shared other clothing items? Is the problem that it was underwear or her age? I'd avoid saying, "Here are a few of mine for you..." I'm smiling as I write.
@carlalayne I think it's the age thing and it's intimate apparel. She said thank you for the bras.
Sarah, I don’t think many girls her can ever imagine themselves lending a bra to a granddaughter. I think it’s wonderful you’re able to do this and have it accepted by her and your family. Is it possible the weirdness come from the fact that lingerie has become so sexualized? It’s something we all have felt many times. I believe I would probably have some of the same feelings you’re having. Since everyone involved seems to be fine with it I would just relax and feel good that you’ve done something nice.
Also I feel your granddaughter must respect you a lot and that’s great
Natalie 💋💋
- @splitdecision I think it's because I wore it. If my wife and I took her to a store to buy new it wouldn't bother me at all.
Sarah -
I would agree with the others. You did something nice for your granddaughter. If your wife or anyone else didn't say anything about it let it go. She appreciated it, said thank you and that's that.
XOXO
Suzanne
As long as she knows yoi dress, and that these aee your bras and she is fine with it, then I do not see any reason to feel wierd. Would you feel wierd if she barrowed a jacket? Sure it is intimate wear, but they are still just clothes and have a function and your bra functions just like any other bra.
Sarah, if your wife would have given or lent your granddaughter one of her bras (if she wore the same size) how do you think your wife would have felt? Well, then that’s how you should feel. You are lucky to have this part of your family that understands and loves you unconditionally. This should prove to yourself as a confirmation of your womanhood. No one thought it was weird or odd except you, and you shouldn't feel that way at all.
Some years ago, after my wife passed, I was in the habit of wearing her clothes. She wasn't a dress or skirt lover, so I wore her leggings and denim shorts. I was open about it with my two step daughters, one of whom fell on bad times and couldn't afford to buy new clothes. I let her go shopping in "Mom's" closet, where she picked out some tops, jeans & capri pants. I asked if she wanted the shorts and she said, "No, you wear those". I gave them to her anyway and she was happy. I missed the shorts, but have since replaced them with the same style, so we both wear the same as Mom did.
