Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
When I was married, I was the one who knew what looked good on her. I remember different times, the early years, when she came home from shopping... "Holy cow she looks awful in that! I'm going to kindly try to steer her away from that selection next time." I wasn't after a hot wife look on her at all, just whatever looked right. So gradually I took her shopping. I guess I did well. One time in our 40's we were about to go in to sit down for church. The preacher came around the corner and suddenly grabbed her, saying, "you look great!" Clearly, whatever "it" was that I had, I matched her outfit to the occasion here. Has anyone here ever seen an upstanding married reputable preacher do that? Physically grabbed her. That dress was not an expensive one, either. She must have been pondering on events like that-- that I had an unusual & beneficial talent.
You've all seen when a pushy clerk keeps saying to the woman, "that looks good on you"... and I thought, good god, lady. It doesn't lay at the waist right, or the hemline says, "look at my kneecaps"; or the dress is straining at the hips; or, its baggy around the bodice, etc.
Joining CDH opened something up in me, helped me to further understand my gender. I recently thought, "Was I justified when I was easing into taking the lead for wardrobe selection?" But I remember, she wasn't seeming coerced at all. She understood "Whatever we walk out with, it's a winner." The clerk took my selections in, and the wife tried them all on. Over time this emerging feminine sense of mine was gradual enough that neither she nor I ever jumped up and said, "OMG what man does this? You're trans!"
What husband / man is this comfortable understanding the science of dress design and can identify its flattering characteristics, mating them to the face, body, occasion, & shoes? Or noticing what a woman is like by what jewelry she's wearing? In those days, what I wished to do was work in a woman's clothing store. I remember now I used to long for that all the time. I remember times while sitting there, (in a coat & tie) waiting for my wife to change, sometimes another woman would come out, look at me with, "what do you think of this one?" I would tastefully say, "between the two, for a wedding, that first outfit was really you, dear." And then I would be thanked with a happy smile.
I remember now, I would have my coat & colorful tie, white shirt, shoes shined, with a kerchief in my breast pocket, so to appear as good & safe as possible in the event other women would be there needing help and they would feel ok interacting with me.
This "sense" - now I have begun to use it for myself, meaning I spend a lot of time looking for the clothes that will flatter me - a 60-something woman. So when I say your comment has got me thinking, it is these almost-forgotten memories - more and more I feel something being uncovered, like sensitive emotions I guess, about who I am.
adding another thing: I'd take her shoe shopping in the days when dept. stores had good stuff. I would stroll around, look across the displays, walk straight over to a pair of heels, look at the inside: "made in Italy."
When I was married to my late wife, who lost her fight with cancer years ago, I would buy her jewelry like earrings, necklaces and bracelets. She knew I had a feminine side, occasionally dressed, and had better judgement regarding feminine fashions, so I was always asked to go with her and pick things out. I have always had a thing about how clothing feels, if it feels cheap, it usually means it's lower quality material. Same thing with shoes, good quality feminine footwear doesn't usually come cheap, you usually get what you pay for and they will last longer. Sales girls would often compliment me on my choices.
I found out last year that I am an intersex female, which explains why I've always been, and still am, very fussy about feminine attire, whether it's for me or shopping with another lady.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
@reallylauren well said Lauren, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss honey xx.
...and sometimes we aren't. Fashion sense is a learned skill. Most women have practiced since youth, while most men just don't care, or are not willing to make the effort. Some, of course, do, but yes, since we dress we do have more of a fashion eye. Some more than others. Mine is marginal.at best. I like what I like, but that does not necessarily translate into good fashion sense.
I dunno JJ, I just had lunch today at a local bistro. As an avid girl-watcher and CD, I’m always on the lookout for good looks. To look at and to wear. “Fashion sense” seems like a term from the Stone Age now.
I gotta tell ya…apparently anything goes today. Which means for me there isn’t a lot to look at and admire. It sucks to be from the go-go 80’s where all the ladies it seemed had good hair, makeup and fashion was going places. I thought it would keep getting better and better. What happened? I saw exactly 1 classy 60-something lady there. Simple short hair, curled a bit at the ends, parted on the side. Simple but elegant makeup. She wore a blue patterned tunic with white leggings and sandals. Simply gorgeous she was. And that was it. Lots of t-shirts, shorts and flip/flops. On both sexes.
I feel gratified to know that a lot of us girls in the CD world are at least trying to put together presentable looks. And many are pulling it off at least as well as a lot of the gg’s of today. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about that.
GP
I think I am developing more of a fashion sense. Since my divorce, I am definitely more into crossdressing and fashion then when I was married
When my wife and I go shopping she always asks my opinion on what she should get. She says I have a good fashion sense compared to her. It is fun going shopping with her, while she is trying things on I peruse the racks to find other things for her to try on. When she shows me something she is trying on I'll let her know if the fit is right and if need be find the same item in a different size. Of course while looking for things for her there are items that Suzanne likes. My wife will usually ask if there is something that Suzanne would like and we wind up getting it (kind of a reward for helping I guess). As I'm in drab I don't try it on but the size is usually right.
XOXO
Suzanne
Some men do have a natural eye for womens fashion and how it is worn, that's why men become fashion designers or build businesses making quality ladies clothes. There are the usual inferences about sexuality but some are just straight guys.
From what you say Dani you have a good dress sense in either mode so are among a small band of people of either sex that actually care about how they look and know what to wear to match the occasion but also in style. It could also be that influences such as a mother, sister, friend had good dress sense that you wish to follow. My mother dressed well and used to make dresses too. I would watch and listen as she made them and was even used as a mannequin at times so knew about how a dress should hang and fit.
Another reason could be the classic feminine side coming out in us. Many of us dress much more stylishly and care about what we are wearing as we want to accentuate that feminine look and feel good about ourselves. It matters not the price, it's how you look and feel.
