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I recently had a surgery on my right foot to eliminate a long-time issue with arthritis in my big toe. (Look up MTP Fusion Surgery on Youtube if you're into cool, gruesome surgery videos). Basically the first big toe joint is removed, shaved down and screwed together to eliminate any further arthritis pain. This was a second operation and apparently the "gold standard" for repair for people of my age (51). Obviously, a joint with a metal plate and screws through it will not move. I will lose considerable flexion in my right foot.
Now obviously I didn't just come out and ask the doctor if I would be able to ever wear high heels again. I fit it into a conversation about what limitations I may face in the future. He said I may not be able to run long distances or do lunges at the gym as easily as before (neither was very easy before, so I guess I'm done with those...darn) among other things. My wife was with me during the conversation, so I "innocently" said, "So if she was getting this operation, her days of wearing high heels would be over I guess". The doctor said that most women never wear heels again after the operation. Some are able to make a small heel work, but usually the foot won't bend enough to get into the shoe.
This has hit me hard. My wife has been very supportive during our lives together, but I can't get her to understand why this means so much to me. Literally, my very first step into crossdressing was in a pair of high heels I had snuck out of my mother's closet. I have always considered heels to be the quintessential way to "transform" into Danni. No matter what I have on, the heels make it a girly outfit. It seems so silly, but I am REALLY upset about losing this part of my life.
I knew this was going to be a possibility as I had searched online prior to the operation, but hearing it directly from the doctor has broken my heart as the operation is done. I dressed the night before the operation. My wife asked why I had chosen a Sunday night before an operation to get all dolled up. I jokingly quipped that "this may be the last time I ever get to walk around in heels." I have been doing this for 40 years, and now it is almost certain to be over.
I was on bed rest for a week and I spent a ton of time online searching things like "how to make flats sexy" and "dresses with penny loafers". I know that there are options out there, but damn, that feeling of slipping into a nice 4" heel and "strutting" are over. Looks like I have a very large high heel collection I need to sell now.
I guess the good news is that my foot will now be pain free...
@dannydior301 Sorry to hear this…Since you may have the option of a lower heel, why not give them a try? I understand it’s not the same, but it will be better than flats. I sometimes wear a kitten heel or 1 1/2 inch heel, and they are fun.
@chanel I will definitely take a look. While being "sexier", I also found that the higher heel was able to conceal the fact that the shoes were size 13 a little bit better. I guess big feet are big feet no matter what you wear.
@dannydior301 Danni, good to hear that you've got relief from your foot problem. I loved the way you asked the question in terms of your wife. I bet the doctor was having none of that 😂. Have you actually tried wearing heels since the op? You never know it may still be possible, even if just for a short while. I suffer terribly from peripheral neuropathy in my feet and am in constant discomfort, but I've still managed to slip into a nice pair of heels occasionally. I'm lucky that despite being 6'00 and 190 lbs I take a UK size 7 or 8. Sorry to gloat 😂 xx.
@chrisfp99 curse you and your small feet! 🤣. I’m only a week out from the operation. I go into a post-op boot in 2 weeks, then 6 weeks in that. I think I may be ready for regular shoes by Christmas! I most definitely will be cramming this foot into a heel the first chance I can. We’ll see how it goes.
@dannydior301 There is only one way to be sure. My fingers are crossed for you.
I have various foot issues as well, and I will be really disappointed if I have to give up my heels collection, too. It takes some effort (and some money) to find shoes that fit me. I feel your loss.
@dannydior301 Tory Burch to the rescue. Tory made the flat shoe sexy. Many stylish women wear Tories with elegant dresses. Warning, Tory Butch is not inexpensive.
@dovemtn2016 I've seen their wares while searching for "fancy penny loafers". They unfortunately don't have my size.
There seems to be a lot of nice patent leather pennies out there with sharp accents. I think I could get into those if I can't do heels anymore. Finding a size 13 is my challenge.
@dannydior301 Another solution running shoes with a jean jacket. That works any place in the world.
I'm glad that your pain free now. I'm sad that you're footwear options are limited.
I was told by a couple of Doctors that I would always have lower back pain and the only hope was to numb the nerves to eliminate the pain. This procedure has a 50/50 chance of success the first time it's done. Also some nasty side effects like bowel control issues. While I was in the grip of pain. Couldn't sleep, sit or stand for any length of time. I prayed to God for relief. Then a thought came to me. Inflammation in the nerves in my spine. I told some anti-inflammatory medicine and in 30 minutes I fell asleep and rested comfortably for several hours. Gradually the pain subsided. I'm relatively pain free now. Thank God!
Bottom line Doctors are human and don't always predict an outcome. Especially when the patient is determined to overcome their condition!
I agree with Marg Produe. Start out slowly and work your way up.
I hope you can find a safe, pain free happy medium!
Fran 🥰
@dannydior301 Anything is possible. I myself have a much greater pain tolerance than my wife and she hates heels anyway. I have birth defects in both my ankles and heels actually help the arthritis for some odd reason but it took a while before my toes were happy. get a size bigger open toe . I bet after a bit of heel therapy you will be right back in the saddle.. but even if not. I just love looking down at them heels while hanging on the couch 
just saying it ain't over till the fat lady sings.. and I have not sung yet on this one lol.. good luck and dont give up.. Cheers RC
@dannydior301 I understand your situation. I fractured my foot a few years ago and it has become very difficult for me to wear heels. While I can bend my foot to get it into my shoes, I just don't have the same stability. One thing that has helped me is to wear block heels. It gives me a bigger base in contact with the ground and has helped a lot. I'm also doing exercised given to me by a physical therapist to help with the stability. On balance though, I'm down to a maximum heel height of no more than 3 inches. It's not the end of the world but still it's not something that makes me happy.
@lauren114 I feel so silly saying that I’m bothered by it. Of all the problems in the world, this is by far the smallest. It’s just been such a part of my “journey”. I do have some lower block heels that I have considered to be possible options once I’m back at it. I’m sure I can find a new version of happy.
All is not lost! My right foot and big toe barely bend because of an injury and botched surgery many years ago. It limits what kind of shoe, but 4" heels are not out of the question. Yes, pumps and most boots are out of the question "unless you go two sizes bigger and add padding). I have found that strappy sandals can be made to work if the straps are closer to the toes. If a shoe has several straps across the top I will trim out the top few and keep the bottom ones. You can also have a shoe shop add padding under the ball of the foot to "flatten" how your foot fits in there. I have bought several pairs of shoes from Temu to experiment with because they are so inexpensive. That way I can buy two pairs that are different sizes to make room for the funky toe. Sounds weird, but you really cant tell the size difference once they are on. I can DM you some pictures if you would like.
@dannydior301 Dani, this surgery has been recommended for me also. Problem for me is I already can't wear heals, with the arthritic pain in both big toes. Just a little pressure for a few minutes and I can't walk in the heals at all. My problem is even with flats if the shoe is even a little tight in the toes I can't wear those shoes either
Cassie
@loneleycd I’ve been lucky with very little pain. The immobility is certainly annoying, and it’s only been 9 days. Even though I just had surgery, I can distinctly tell that the constant arthritis pain is gone.
My wife had a similar operation (twice). She now has metal in her feet, and she can no longer wear heels.... Annoyingly, the first op was supposed to enable her to wear heels, as she was having problems.... They messed this one up, and it made things worse. The second op, a number of years later, was to fix most of the problems the first one caused. Plates and pins means her feet no longer bend at the toes. She can wear wedges. Maye this is something to think about.
Cerys
I have a few pairs. I will try them as soon as I'm out of the boot. Thanks for the information...maybe there is a little hope
Hi Danni,
So sorry to hear about your foot, but it is a good thing that you will no longer have to deal with the pain.
I can relate a little. I did not have major surgery like you but I fractured my foot some years ago and after it healed, I experienced a lot of pain whenever I wore heels. I tried acupuncture, Reiki, and massage to alleviate the pain and nothing worked.
So I switched to sneakers, flats, sandals, and lower heels and I have had no issue with pain wearing those. I lamented the loss of wearing high heels, and it took some time to change my perspective but I did and I make it work.
Besides being pain free, it gave me an excuse to expand my wardrobe to accommodate the new types of shoes I began to collect.
Hang in there!!
Hugs,
Jennifer
"You are not alone"... In/Famous song title
My problem aint toes, its a dodgy, creaky old back. Most I can manage without pain is about a 2" block heel.
Upscale Lingerie is what "gets my Caty going", so I can do that all day every day
Caty.
A long time ago, I had a motorbike accident and my little toe was broken in two places, it's still broken and flops around in cold weather. When I saw an insurance-retained doctor about compensation, he told me there were three options with my toe: fuse it (like the OP's toe), leave it (which I did) or have it removed.
Now a little toe is somewhat insignificant regarding removal and probably wouldn't make any difference, but what if the big toe was removed? You'd certainly be able to wear heels. Of course, whether or not you could still balance is another thing and would need a doctor's advice.
Have you considered removal? I know it's very drastic but it depends how important wearing heels is.
@rebeccabaxter ooh now that is extreme! Although as a massive cricket fan I remember many years ago a New Zealand cricketer (Jacob Oram I believe) had a badly broken finger and was considering having it removed so he could play in the world cup. In the end I think it healed just in time xx.
Hi Danni, In time you might try a 1/2 inch heel and if that works move up another 1/2 inch and see if that works too. Also there are heels that lace all the way down to the toes and as such you can open them quite wide to put your foot in (like into a taco shell) and then relace them up without flexing your foot. I've also put 1/4 inch mouse pads cut to the foot shape into the bottom of my heels to relieve pressure and pain. I have arthritis and an old broken big toe (from soccer) that I deal with and now my highest heels are 3 1/2 inches. Wishing you all the best toward a recovery. Marg
I love my heels too, I feel your pain (I mean, literally, they hurt my feet cause I'm supposed to wear wide sizes).
I do like to wear gladiator-style sandals around the house since I have a downstairs neighbour, and you know, used the right way they can be part of a nice look.
Wishing you godspeed for the surgery and we are all here with you 😊
Truly sorry to hear this and read glad you got your issue taking care of tho much as we all love heels not sure if pain is worth it tho hopefully you recover and find an alternative maybe try a platform heel wish you the best tho TC
