[Closed] Key advice for a young crossdresser?

Hi  Olivia

I must have purged over 25 times myself. Only in about the last 5 years have I truly come to accept my feminine side. Tips? There's a ton of info available online. And of course you get better with practice - you'll find what looks work for you. As for keeping it secret - that's a tough one. Maybe a storage locker? Maybe your parents would be OK with it - maybe not. I know my parents never would have. But you never know.

Take care

K

First and foremost, accept who you are. Only you can realize that, but once you do, an accept it, life will be so much better. Once I came to the realization that I like to dress, and that there is nothing wrong with it, I just accepted it and have been at peace since.

As for keeping it hidden, you have two options. If you come to full acceptance, just telling your parents that you dress can make life so much simpler. If might take some educating on your part, but in the long run will be much better. The second option is to keep it hidden and then you will have to decide who much and how often you want/need to dress since it will be a challenge to find the balance you need. You can easily underdress, and do your own laundry, keep a set of clothes hidden some where and dress when the chance arises, or you can go places away from home where you can dress, like a week end get away, or a camping trip, et cetera.

I am very much a need to know type person, so determine who needs to know, and work with those people. My wife knows, but the rest of my family does not because there is no "need" for them to know. Since you live at home, and you are so young and have a full lifetime ahead of you, coming out to some of your family may make your life much easier in the long run.

Practice, practice, practice Olivia that is the key to getting your look right

YouTube is a godsend for makeup tutorials and I find that looking round the shops (primark, new look etc) gets you familiar with the trends clothing wise……… I usually look at the mannequins and see what there wearing and usually copy that for a full outfit and buy them depending on if I like that or not

keep at it…… it will get easier

Jem x

Give yourself the freedom to explore your femininity.  No decision you make today about your female self has to last forever.  Just like fashion, no perspective or life-style choice is ever really fixed in stone.   Read, learn, experiment, but mostly find others who like and accept you for who you are now and who you are growing into.  Especially among CDs/transwomen -- they (we) are an awesome bunch!

The biggest tip is just do it. It is so easy to kind of talk yourself out of it, but a lot of times the solution to a step is just commit to it and do something about it. Even just a baby step at first is fine.

As for keeping it a secret. I had a toolbox that I kept locked up with my stuff in it and just said it was tools. They were expensive and dangerous so keeping them locked up was just sensible.

Hi Olivia,

If you are still living with your parents, do not say anything to them about you dressing unless you are pretty sure they will be accepting and open minded. You don't need to be tossed out of their house unless you are ready to face the world on your own.

Since you are in your early 20s, I'm guessing your parents probably go to bed at a reasonable hour. When the house is quiet, watch YouTube videos (with headphones) for makeup and fashion tips and instruction. Then practice. If you need to buy makeup and clothes, I would suggest your local Walmart. Shop online and either buy online and pick it up at the store, or go into the store and buy it yourself. The Walmart app will tell you which aisle everything is located. The first couple times will be nerve racking, but you will quickly see no one really cares or is watching. And don't be afraid to ask the sales women for help finding something. Just point to the item on your phone and ask where it is. Most of the time they will take you right to it.

As for purging... Just don't. Years ago I purged too. Usually after... umm...you know...the thrill is gone. Instead of throwing things out, put everything in a box, tape it up and place it in the back of your closet. Out of sight, out of mind. Remember, there will be a next time.

One piece of personal advice: If you plan on going outside, wear what other girls wear. Garish makeup and slutty clothes don't necessarily make you feminine. They may get you attention that you don't really want though. Be safe.

Madeline

Olivia, I say have fun and go for it.  One of my biggest regrets is that I did not embrace my femininity at a younger age.  I think I would have been a very pretty boy/girl.  Now as a senior when I have finally accepted who I am I dream of what could have been

Welcome to your new journey Don't stop dreaming, I can speak for most girls here we have all purged our treasures at sometime only to realize that was dumb and expensive, don't let your guilt get the best of you we all have feelings, enjoy the feeling of being feminine and wearing nice clothing the comfort is wonderful .

Be confident ! It doesn't come easy but it's everything when you're trying to get it all together that's the first thing people will notice the way you carry yourself.

Don't wear nothing too flashy or trashy that will get you noticed in all the wrong ways I believe it's common for someone who is CD to over do it ? For example makeup, you may like it but realistically No !  don't go out if you look like a clown, again you will get noticed

Dress your age and what is trending, this journey is gonna be a long one, I'm willing to bet, so move slow enjoy the moment the more you do it the better it gets and best of all it becomes easier and less nervousness will allow the Great Feeling !

Welcome to our world and a special sisterhood .. Dayna

After 38 years figuring it out I'd have to say just be happy. There's a lot of fear and stigma for who we are. This is what I wish I'd heard just be you and be happy nothings wrong with what we love so don't get discouraged this is who and what we are so own it. Best wishes to you.

I wish I wear 23 again!!! I regret never having followed my feelings and desires and dress, dress, dress!!!

at 60 I realized I could not stand it any longer, and just started dressing, and not purging. About purging, do find your "fashion", what you really love and don't just buy things for the sake of having them.

Most of all, NEVER FEEL GUILTY for what you are doing!!! It is you, who you are and accepting yourself is most important!!! You will hear, read and see things that say otherwise. They are not true!

You are beautiful, exciting, love to feel good and you know what makes you feel good! You are who you are.

Embrace yourself and enjoy it!!

Love and Hugs,
Becka

My best advice is with practice, patience, and the right products you can achieve any look you desire.

do your research on makeup products. Nothing worse than spending a ton of money on products that don't look good on you or just don't work. This site is great recourse to ask questions and gather info.

All I do is identify othe women when out places that have looks that I would like to achieve and I take mental notes. I don't stare I just try to see what they are wearing and how their makeup is done and then try to replicate it.

Good luck on your journey and don't be afraid to ask lots of questions!

Stop purging, it's just a waste of money. Crossdressing never goes away, I realized that at a young age and except for throwing away something I didn't use or like anymore I've never purged.

When and if you get into a relationship then tell up front about you being a crossdresser and accept that it may end the relationship right there, and so be it. Your life will be much easier if you don't have to live with a deep secret. Crossdressing never stops.