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As I plan on attending Keystone in March of next year, it dawned on me that Grace has very little experience being in a public setting. Never mind the butterflies…how about “Which bathroom do I use in a hotel?” 🤣 (I laugh but that’s a serious question for all you Keystone Veterans.)
Now instead of wasting my time on Sundays watching football I’m in training with Grace as we prepare for our Crossdressers Super Bowl in March. Which is held in Harrisburg, PA at Keystone Stadium.
It’s still early days but the coach has identified some weaknesses with his star girly girl:
1. Eating is HARD. You smear your lipstick for starters. Hair is constantly getting in your mouth. “I think I’ll have the spaghetti please…WON’T be ordered at any meal.” What are the least obtrusive things to order in a restaurant when dressed? I can see where going full time is just the thing if a girl ever wants to get serious about weight loss. Because I don’t see how anyone could overeat while dressed. I’ll be lucky TO eat! As far as drinking anything I’m thinking straws are a must.
2. After a couple of hours of having a wig on, your face feels like someone is giving you an unauthorized face lift. Maybe it’s the wig cap underneath the wig or a combo of the two but my face gets tight. Feels like it’s being pulled in many directions all at once. It’s such a relief to pull all that rigamarole off my head. Tips on wearing my wig for longer stretches would be nice if anyone has any hacks for this.
3. How much “female paraphernalia” do I need to keep in my purse for maintenance? Lipstick, gloss, liner for sure. Probably some extra foundation for when I screw up the lips. Compact mirror. Small vent brush for the wig touch ups. Mints, always. Any thing else ladies?
These were the three main things that came to mind today when I was having my dress up training session. I’m sure there will be more as the big game approaches. Appreciate anyone chiming in with tips or suggestions for Grace. Remember she is still a rookie, so she’s trying to do her best, look her best and not screw up!🥰
GP
@gracepal Thank you Grace for making me feel somewhat relieved that I am very much a closetted dresser 😂 xx.
First off be your girly self.
When dressed I use the ladies room. I'm not going to the men's room in a dress! Remember to face the door when in the cubicle. Also it's a bit of a challenge to go wearing a long dress or gown. Gather it up and don't step on it or drop any part of it in the toilet.
As far as food goes. Steak, chicken,
things you cut with a knife into small bite size bits.
Dab the lips with your napkin. Don't wipe it like a guy. Less spearing. Retouch lipstick after your meal. Have a compact that has the small mirror in your purse.
The more you go out enfem the easier you adapt to be one of the girls.
Mainly relax and enjoy being with so many wonderful sisters!
Fran 🥰
Nice to see you are planning on Keystone Grace. Try not to overthink things a bit and just enjoy yourself and the experience. With 700 plus girls there, no one will notice any flaws, lipstick, or that small spaghetti stain on your top.. lol. I have been to some big events now.. but not Keystone yet.. however, here are some suggestions from me.
Bathroom.. use the ladies, and with all those girls, you might have to line up.. if away from the hotel, you can always ask if in doubt.
Eating meals.. i only order things i can use with a fork and knife & cut into small portions to gracefully put in the mouth .. no burgers! I use a straw with all drinks and cocktails with the exception of wine, (how tackey that would be). I also tend to wear long lasting 18hr lipstick (Rimmel) so no eating issues with smear. A few bobby pins or nice hair clips will deal with the hair in face while dining, even temporarily if you like.
Wig tightness, you might need a larger size, which is hard to find in all styles compared the the standard ones, around 22" circumference i think. You may want to consider a different brand if it is a lesser expensive one. Also, a fitting by a pro is easy to do with on obligation to purchase.
Purse items.. i carry the lipstick of the day, no liner. Wallet, hotel key card, phone, a small lighted mirror, some mints. A small comb and a hair clip or two. I use cash & don't carry my credit card or car keys.. Uber when out.
Hope this helps, i am sure others will chime in with more tips and... hope to see you there in March, my first.
Em
@emilysouthern 700 plus…nice! Yeah, I can blend in with a group that large for sure. Those are good tips.
I have a real problem using the ladies room because I’m not a real lady. So that is probably not gonna happen. However - as I’m staying at the hotel I will have my own which I’ll just partake of when the need arises.😊 (In San Francisco I attended the Miss Gay SF Pageant once and all the girls were standing at the men’s urinals, many in stilettos, same as always only with their dresses hiked up.) Myself, I was in drab at the urinal beside them.
Looking forward to meeting you E-South🥰
GP
I've only ever used the Women's bathroom anywhere I've gone, but that's me. I always advise you check the state laws for where you are.
- It's true I'm far more apt to order 'fork' food, because sandwiches are just more ungainly to eat. Even so I will simply use my off hand to hold my hair back and thus far have managed to put minimal plastic in my mouth, but 0% seems an unreasonable expectation lol. As for lippy, the types I use are extremely smear/smudge resistant and I only ever touch them up a skosh about mid-event.
- I cut off the elastic bands for tightening a wig because my head is grande and I don't need them. However I do double up on wig caps and I find something those feel a little squeezy. Unfortunately not much to be done there. :/
- I only use clutches, so it's the bare essentials for me:
- Lippy
- Glue/magnetic liner (depending on my lash choice du jour)
- Phone
- Keys (hotel/car as needed)
- Card/cash/license
- Comb
Looking forward to seeing you there! 🙂
Grace,
1. Use the ladies room.
2. I use Maybelline 16 hr. lipstick so I never have to worry about smearing it.
3. I don't use wig caps (too tight) and adjust the wig bands so my wig is not too snug. I often forget I have one on because they are fairly comfy. If your head size is 22.5 to 23.0 inches or bigger, you may do better with a large cap size wig which is what I wear.
See you in PA. This will be my 3rd Keystone.
The bathroom question is easy. All bathrooms on the conference floor are marked as dual gender. They tell you if it has urinals or not, and how many stalls. So you can pick whichever bathroom you want.
Buy yourself some bobby pins, hair clips, or if you want to get pretty, something with a flower in it to pin your hair back and keep it out of the way while eating.
In addition to things previously mentioned, you should probably keep some tissues in your purse, and maybe a few band-aids. Also a compact if you feel the need to powder the shine off your face, particularly if you have oily skin. It also contains a mirror if you want to touch up your lipstick.
Make sure to take a stack of singles with you. If you go out with the group to the restaurants or on any of the trips, it's nice to tip the bus driver a dollor or two for each direction of the trip.
I wear a wig the same color as my hair, so I don't usually bother with a wig cap. If it is too tight, I will just not clip the elastic shorteners on at all. I'm comfortable wearing it all day.
Your phone is a great idea. I look throught the program ahead of time and put "appointments" in my calendar for the presentations (and their locations) I want to go to that day. They do have a touch-screen map off of the elevators that will direct you, but it's nice to know where it is ahead of time.
@alison-anderson Dual bathrooms, now we’re talking sense😊. Good!
Bandaids? Hmm, I guess you never know when you’ll need one.
I definitely need to get some nice hair clips.
And I don’t know how I haven’t thought of no wig cap yet…okay, that’s happening on the next training day!
GP
@gracepal Oh, I almost forgot. How can a girl go out without an emery board to fix any snags in her nails?
Grace, Everyone has given you great advice. You will adjust within the first 3 hours and do fine. Have a wonderful time, learn, make friends and relax. Have at least one pair of comfortable shoes. If you fly into the airport and don't want to take an Uber or rent a car, you can walk across to the lower level of the parking garage and for about $2 you can catch a city bus that takes you right up to the hotel in about 30 min. Hope to see you there. Marg
Hi Grace:
Excellent advice from everyone here. My first Keystone was in 2023, and i felt a lot like you do now at that time. No need to worry or overthink anything, you will find it the most inviting, supportive and uplifting group you can imagine. If you are en femme use the ladies room - not a problem at all, I've done it many times while en femme both at Keystone and elsewhere. As for keeping your wig in place i use this headband - quite comfortable and lightweight, and hold it firmly in place even in high winds.
https://www.amazon.com/Dreamlover-Elastic-Headband-
As for etiquette, beyond following the advice already given here by many you can further hone your femme skills at a workshop on that very subject. If you still feel unsure and don't really know anyone in person you can sign up for assistance in that area too, as there are persons that have volunteered to help in that area as well. However, since you are a CDH subscriber there will be many of us there, at least 45 last year.
Hope to see you there!
Kris
@krisburton Appreciate it Kris, I’ll look forward to meeting you when I go. I’ll also check out the headband link. Thanks!
GP
Oh Grace, I forgot to mention a little bit more about shoes. If your shoes are comfortable on your feet and you can wear them for at least an hour at a time then you will be OK. Otherwise you may end up with blisters etc (hence the band-aids). Consider wearing your shoes 15 min. to 1 hour each day for 2 weeks before you attend so you don't get hobbled after the first day. I also have a large bag and put my heels in it when I have to do lots of walking or running. I just wear my flats to the event and then switch over to the heels before I walk in. Hope the see you there. Marg
@margprodue Thx Marg, shoes will be no problem as I’m a flats girl whenever dressed. Had’em on for over 4 hours yesterday so I’m good to go🥰
GP
