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I really never post, and visit the site sporadically. However something always seems to lead me back. I have always been and remain closeted. (Wife discovered and did not approve.). That was a few years ago.
I do dress up when I can and just haven't found it in me to totally purge. I do enjoy visiting the site, but given the subject matter much of the time I am compelled to remain on the sidelines.
So I ponder why do I keep hanging on?
For me it is the thought of excitement and feeling exhilarated as a woman I would like to chat more with ladies in a similar boat so to speak. I want to find a way to enjoy my female self given the current circumstance.
Been considering readdressing the subject with my wife (i love her deeply and can't imagine not being with her. I am comfortable. ) But there is still the small emptiness I feel.
Thanks for letting me express my feelings. And being a member of the site.
Hi, Ann, thanks for posting this, it will ring true for a lot of our members. I think it'll need to be a super-liner to hold all the ladies in a similar situation!
I do enjoy visiting the site, but given the subject matter much of the time I am compelled to remain on the sidelines.
Sidelines are ok, if that suits you but you don't really get the personal interaction or support and understanding that contributing brings. Even if it's asking a question or giving your opinion, and I'll use the famous, "it's the taking part that counts" phrase here, you'll get more from your membership.
Remember, this community is far more about giving expression to our feminine sides than it is about the opportunity or frequency of dressing. Chrissie @chrisfp99 is absolutely right, although she rarely gets the chance to dress, her insight and compassion for others in her contributions is highly valued.
One of the many things I love about CDH is the opportunity to offer, and also get support when I need it.
Thanks again for this topic, I'll be very interested in seeing the replies.
Allie x
thanks so much for all the wonderful ladies who replied with their kind words of encouragement!
Hi Ann.
The situation with your wife sounds quite similar to my relationship. My wife discovered me dressing up many years ago and made her displeasure and disapproval plain to me.
I can go a long time without feeling the urge but it always comes back. I too can’t imagine being apart from my wife but also can’t imagine not having those lovely feelings when dressed.
Can’t really offer any practical advice, but am glad to meet you on here.
Hugs, Wendy
@wendye47 Thanks so much for the kind words. It is always nice to know I am not alone in my feelings.
Ann, you are certainly not alone. I am completely closetted. If the missus knew it would be instant divorce. I have no opportunities to dress. My only outlets have been the two makeovers I've had recently. So frustrating. Hang in there girl, and try to be more active here. It really is a wonderful support structure. The ladies here have been so sweet to me and it's a great comfort xx.
Hi Ann,
Welcome back to CDH. Enjoy the “Pink Fog” and the excitement dressing brings.
Alice
🍒🍒 Hi Ann,
Beautiful , Beautiful, Amazing, life story, Thanks for posting it for all of to see and experience, thanks for being open, and journeying out of the closet !!!
Big Warm Hugs
Stephanie👠
'I do enjoy visiting the site, but given the subject matter much of the time I am compelled to remain on the sidelines.'
Really, there is no need to keep silent if you don't want to. Some people contribute a lot (look at me, I can hardly shut up), others not so much. If you feel you have something to say, something to ask, or just need a virtual hug, we are always here for you and folk like you. The fact that you can't dress openly should be no obstacle to talking about it here. You have already received a reply from our dear Chrissie; she has similar problems but is still ok chatting on CDH.
If you still feel you wish to keep largely silent, then that's also fine; I expect there are hundreds out there who read but don't feel the need, or do not have the confidence, to take an active part.
You do you, and as far as you feel comfortable.
Hugs
Becca
xx
@rebeccabaxter Wait a sec Becs…you’re saying that you are one of the chattier girls here on CDH? Why, I never noticed…..😂🤣😂🤣!
@gracepal Pot,kettle, black! (If that means anything to our colonial cousins) 😀
@rebeccabaxter thanks so much for the encouragement. In the past I've been more active and certainly all the women on here are absolutely beautiful.
Sounds like we have a bit in common. My wife came across some of my girl clothes and I quit dressing for 20 years. It was always in my mind, and after coming across this site I couldn't hold back.
I told her that I was thinking about dressing again, and I didn't want to go behind her back. She was reluctant at first, but now she is one of my biggest fans. Now I dress whenever I like, which is about 80% of the time.
Since your wife already knows you have dressed in the past, it should be a lot easier on her than bringing it up out of the blue. Just explain that this is part of who you are, and that you found a great site with thousands of people like you. I would also recommend a book called My Husband Betty by Helen Boyd.
Best wishes to you going forward, and please let me know if you need to chat.
Jules
Ann, I want to preface this by saying that I am not really in the same situation so my experience may not be as helpful as others. However, I do want to reiterate what others have said: we are here to be a community. I know there are different topics made by different folks for different experiences and wants. But, at the end of the day, I think almost all of us want to be supportive (and supported) so I would encourage you to stop out from the sidelines and engage as much as you can or want to.
I hope your situation with your wife can turn a corner that allows you both to be happy but, in the mean time, I hope you can find the support you need here.
I am glad you are here and I am glad you spoke up about your experience. I wish you the best!
Even if you watch from the sidelines and you feel connected and gives you a link then that's fine by us. As other girls have said we are here for you and even an occasional question or post is always welcomed and replied to.
There is never any pressure and an occasional hello is always welcome.
We are always here for you.
@ab123 Thanks for those words of encouragement. We're talking about breaking the chains of a life long lifestyle. One molded from religious condemnation and societal taboos. Breaking free is not as easy as one would expect. It takes courage and a whole lot of it. I stand in awe of this community and the individuals who successfully embraced the shadows in the souls. I view you all as role models.
@floral So many of us have had to deal with social and other constraints to blossom. It is a sad reflection but it is not all doom and gloom as experiences here will tell you.
@floral I absolutely agree 100%. I have always enjoyed CDH in the past. I guess I feel a bit of a disconnect with not being able to dress more freely. (In the past my schedule was such that I could almost dress daily during the week. So living a bit vicariously on here is great.). I appreciate your response.
Hi Ann Dee!
I would like to chat more with ladies in a similar boat so to speak.
You have come to the right place.... this is a place of acceptance.....
so go ahead and chat more.
Hugs,
Autumn
Hi Ann
Echo everything already said. But in addition, re engaging with your good lady wife, I’m learning that one size does not fit all. General advice here seems to be best to broach the issue, gently perhaps in your case because of the previous non-acceptance. The alternative of secrecy can take its toll eventually, but, if your partner is totally non-accepting and broaching it would break a vase with the marriage, then low level secrecy it must be. However, being in a similar situation to yourself, I just found my dressing growing and growing together with a feeling that I wasn’t worried if she did find out and I would just take the consequences, which may not be the best way to progress things. One thing to be very careful of though is that if suppressing your dressing leads to your anxiety or depression, then this will eventually get worse and you will need to raise it with her or a therapist. Happy to give more thoughts in a PM if that would help.
Take care
Valentina
