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The Dream
We all have em, don't we? I imagine myself next week or next year wearing a bikini and holding a drink with an umbrella, barking at the cabin boy to be sure to grab himself a nice tip from my purse on his way out.
It used to be different. I used to dream about being a CD. No joke, 100% serious, I had hoped that when I got older, I'd be able to dress often, express my femme side, and still keep my guy life together, family, career, all that. In my twenties, that was my dream and how I intended to define success for my life.
In my mind, it was like having one's cake and eating it too. I get to be me (sometimes) but I don't have to give up the stuff about my life I like...my girlfriend, buddies, business. I didn't have to out myself in places it was going to cost those things.
Some of you made it there, to my dream. That's pretty freaking cool.
I didn't. Ugh, I tried. I settled for as close as I could get I s'pose, still pretty far away.
If you made your dreams come true, whatever they were, congrats!
Hugs.
I'm still dreaming too Rach.
Hugs, Liara
For sure, me too.
I didn't make the dream, but in the end I still found some peace, some happiness. Coulda been more but what can ya do, right?
I did put it away a few times Sam and I was definitely unhappy, I don’t recommend it. I’m not sure anyone finds 100% happiness anyway.
— Abbie 🥰
I think I had the same dream, maybe I still do. I’m just being pulled towards the female end of the world faster and more intensely than I was expecting. Is that what happened to you? At this point I’m just trying to live as honestly as I can, maybe I can make up for the mistakes of the past that way. I don’t want to have serious regrets down the line.
— Abbie 🥰
I struggled in the closet for decades and like you I dreamed of a time when I could be myself without fear of losing all that my male self had worked so hard for over the years. I never thought I would make it but I'm happy to say I have achieved a happy CD life and way more than I ever allowed myself to dream of.
After many purges, disappointments, and setbacks over the years, I've worked toward and was fortunate enough to obtain the life I have today. I'm still married to an SO who does not participate but I have a lot of freedom. Some of it was from my own planning and some of it was just luck in the way things in life worked out. I don't have a perfect life but a pretty contented CD life of peace and happiness. Now if the public was more accepting... sigh... a girl always wants more.
If my goal was to transition then things would be completely different but being able to dress as I want daily or be my male self when needed is good enough for this old CD. In my day this was the highest dream of most CD's. Live life as best you can every day cause life is short and if you girls who want to transition then I say go for it sooner than later and may you find peace and happiness.
