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Ok girls, I finally got out in public…kind of. Friends I’ve chatted with here know I’m very timid about getting out. The closest I’ve come is the one time I went to a hotel, in drab, got all dressed up in my room, ordered from Door Dash and answered the door as Lola. Well I finally took another small step, one that many of you have taken as a gateway to the real world. I walked out of my house (late at night) got in my car, and went for a drive. Now this little excursion did not include interacting with anyone but I did go to a gas station and got out of the car to pump the gas and pay at the pump. That counts right?
It was so wonderful to be out in my lovely new dress, matching shoes, face made up and my favorite wig. I was really surprised how much impact the little details had on me, like putting on my seatbelt and adjusting it between my ample breast forms. LOL
Turns out I picked an extremely windy day to be out. I learned what it’s like to pay and pump gas while holding back my hair to keep it out of my face and struggling to keep my dress from ballooning up! I went to a busy gas station near the interstate but parked at one of the far pumps. I wanted to be in the presence of other people, but at a distance. At one point I thought a car was going to pull up to the pump next to me…oh the anxiety! Surprisingly I was just a tiny bit disappointed when they drove on by and I realized it would have been an opportunity to at least be in the presence of a stranger as Lola for only the second time ever. After that I drove around for almost an hour, just being me.
It was a lovely experience and just right for me right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever take it to the next level but I will make the gas station run again. Thanks to anyone who reads this, it feels so good to be able to share and maybe encourage some of the more timid girls like me.
Hugs girlfriends!
❤️Lola
Well done, Lola!
I went to a busy gas station near the interstate but parked at one of the far pumps. I wanted to be in the presence of other people, but at a distance.
Was it a Buc-ee gas station? I have never seen one, but they are huge!
@harriette HaHa, no not that big. Buc-ees has almost become a destination rather than just a gas station! This was a rather large On-Cue.
❤️Lola
Of course it counts Lola!
That’s no small thing you’ve done there.And you’re quite right, the little things you don’t think about when out in drab are the things you remember.
For me, I love the feeling of the breeze around my legs when wearing a skirt.
I suspect that you will go further than that some day, but hey, it’s not a race is it, so just take it at your own pace
Congratulatory Hugs
Lucy x
@lovelylola oh my, you’ve been bitten! lol There will be no stopping you now! I’m guessing that trip out is embedded in your brain and you are constantly thinking about your next adventure. Well good for you. Who knows where this could lead to. My first major outing back in the day after several quickie trips, was to Walmart. Oh what a blast! First things first, get a cart! Set your purse in and breathe a deep sigh of relief, and off you go to the ladies stuff. You will be filled with excitement when you find those mirrors to gaze into. lol best of all, you will discover no one there cares who you are. They just go about their way doing whatever it is they are doing.
@lovelylola re: Walmart:
you will discover no one there cares who you are. They just go about their way doing whatever it is they are doing.
Looking at some of the viral pictures of how some shoppers dress at Walmart you know why a crossdresser won't stand out.
An older man with a beard in a red dress? It's only a Tuesday afternoon.
@harriette It's not so much my appearence that I worry about. I have a couple outfits that even my SO has said probably wouldn't raise attention in public. Besides there are plenty of natural born women out there who have some more masculine features.
It's when I have to talk to someone with my baratone voice that scares me. If they didn't already suspect I am just "presenting" as a woman, they will know without a doubt as soon as I speak. HaHa
@lovelylola 😁 OK
Just do it anyway, even if you have to go further from neighbours who might see you. Confidence can overcome a lot. If it doesn't cause an earthquake, then you know how far you can take things in public.
Hi Lola, that was wonderful. It absolutely counts - one of my first outings was to a 'petrol' station (UK terminology of course); it was a bit terrifying because I had to join the queue to pay at the internal counter, but apart from telling the cashier the pump number I kept quiet.
I understand the voice concern. I have never tried to develop a feminine voice and am quite aware that, as soon as I open my mouth, any chance that I have 'passed' is most likely to be blown away. However, and perversely, my main concern is not how I feel about being exposed as a crossdresser, but whether I will be upsetting the other person who has up until that point considered me to be female. It's all most illogical I am sure, but maybe this is a bit of 'girl logic' 🤗 .
Anyway, now you have taken this step I am sure it will be a cherished memory and, as soon as you feel comfortable, you will be planning the next one.
Many hugs, Rebecca xxx
my main concern is not how I feel about being exposed as a crossdresser, but whether I will be upsetting the other person who has up until that point considered me to be female. I
I appreciate the input on voice Rebecca, and it's good to know I'm not the only on who has this concern.
Lola, there's no "kind of" about it! You went outside and interacted with the world beyond your front door. In my book that definitely counts!
I can understand your disappointment when that car drove past. Don't worry, there'll be more opportunities like that waiting for you.
Well done!
@lovelylola way to go!!! Yes, it absolutely counts! Are you kidding?!? I’m so happy for you! Just go at a pace YOU feel comfortable with. None of us are holding a stop watch on you, we just want you to be safe and have fun which it sounds like you did! Congratulations!🎉🎊🎈 I hope the next time will be even more exciting and invigorating.
Hugs, Jill
I so love reading things like this.
I've been on the odd night drive and occasional day drives, as well as frequent '50:50' excursions.
Maybe the next time I need petrol I'll dress for the occasion 🙂
Late July is the first time I'll be venturing out fully en femme in broad daylight, as part of a makeover experience. I am REALLY looking forward to that, and photos WILL follow 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Oh my, congratulations! I would love to do a full makeover someday. I can't wait to see your photos!
I will admit, the gas trip was a almost a week ago, it took me some time to get my story posted. Since then my other vehicle needed gas and I almost drove home first to dress again! Sadly not enough time. I'm looking for a nice park in a gender inclusive area for my next outing.
💖Lola
It took me a while to work up the nerve to book the makeover. I think that day is going to be a bit of a rite of passage 🙂
I'm absolutely sure it will be amazing! I'm so happy for you!🎉
I live in an area of the USA that's not known for being very gender inclusive so I don't know where I'd go to get a makeover without traveling a good distance. I do have a friend who does pagent makeup and also makeup for some of the local drag queens. I've thought about asking her but that would mean coming out to her and I'm not ready for that yet. But I'd love,love,love to see what she would do with my face, both for everyday and a full drag queen treatment just for fun!
My part of the UK (Norfolk) isn't considered to be particularly gender-inclusive either 🙁
The UK DOES have several wonderful crossdresser makeover services with excellent reputations - and I researched most of them before deciding on the one that I'm going to use.
I plan to drive up the night before and stay in a Travelodge so that my day en femme is as relaxing as possible. I don't want to start it with a two and a quarter hour drive and a constant worry about being stuck in traffic.
If all goes well with the makeover (as I'm sure it will, since a number of other CDH members have raved about the service I've chosen) I'll follow it up with another ... but this time travel down to Brighton on the south coast of the UK. There's a makeover service there with its own B&B.
You can stay over, have the full day dressed with several changes of clothes/looks, lunch out, an evening meal out and then pubbing and clubbing ... all escorted by someone that knows all the best places to go.
By the way, your friend sounds amazing 🙂
Ellie x
Sounds like you have some great plans, can't wait to read all about it here on CDH! I do know about a service here in the US, in Las Vegas. No lodging but full makeover and escorted night on the town. Some of my other friends here on CDH have done the makeover part and their results were mind-blowing. It would be an airline trip for me but I think it would be worth it. Someday.
Yes, my friend is an amazing person but she's not really good at keeping secrets. 😆
@ellyd22 you will love the makeover experience Ellie. If this counts as out then I'm pleased to know. I've had 5 makeovers with 3 different people, so i have presented this me to 3 infant 4 different people. Also had a little walk, skirt and blouse to fetch something from my car. Hoping for another in a few weeks.
*Laughs* Yes ... going shopping in Leicester, fully dressed and made up, for a couple of hours will very DEFINITELY count as being 'out and about' 🙂
At this point it's something that I need to do rather than something that I simply want to do.
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 sounds lovely and you'll look and feel fab. Mine were a 100 miles further north but iawait your report and possibly I'll venture south. Do I need a passport?
Mel x
Generally a book of Tesco's vouchers in your name will be sufficient to establish your identity.
If you get further south than Surrey then you'll need a Waitrose card.
@ellyd22 so my whippet dog licence or ration book are acceptable?
much head scratching across the pond.
The ration book is fine as long as it contains at least one unused meat coupon.
In 2002 the law was changed so that northerners are allowed to present either a valid whippet license or a live racing pigeon if they want to proceed south of Watford Gap.
@ellyd22 then I shall iron my stocking and polish my stiletto heeled clogs and saddle the whippet and travel south sometime. 2 bottles of milk stout, 20 woodbine and a pound of black pudding for rations. I'll see ya there.
Or, for added style, the chips and gravy can be eaten directly from a flat cap.
And the best part is, the flat caps are reusable ... so it's great for the environment!
Wal ... do you're gorn to tork like tha, oi'll hev to reply in broad Norfook 🙂
Wal, thas' a rummun', hent it? 🙂
Slow yew down an’ hold you hard.
En keep yew a troshin' 🙂
@ellyd22 you speak like that in Leicester, however fabulous you look, you'll be deported.
I'll just have to keep my mouth shut and give people my best smile 🙂
@ellyd22 should see you right but like the scene in the Great Escape 'don't speak'.
@lovelylola Lola, I have gone to the gas station several times while dressed with no problems. On windy days I’ve worried about about my wig getting blown off, but that hasn’t happened so far. You might try going thru drive thrus for a coffee or soda. This gets you face to face with someone and requires you to speak. I even got called Mamme once.
After my gas stop I came VERY close to doing that too. Maybe next time.👍
I finally got out in public…kind of.
Huh? What? 'Kind of' went out? Silly girl! There is no 'kind of' going out. If you stepped out the door you went out. It counts. Small step yes. But definitely out. Small steps turn into bigger steps. Maybe a daytime walk in the park or a shopping mall? Socializing with friends? It won't be long before you realize all the anxiety about being seen doesn't matter. The vast majority of people won't notice and the ones that do won't care. It really is better these days.
Wanna supercharge your confidence? Get a glam makeover and spend the rest of the day out. Meet some girlfriends for lunch or dinner. Do some shopping or hit a club. Get plenty of photos. OMG it'll change your life!
/EA
I'm going out tomorrow with my wife to a garden centre, it will be my fourth time out, and then next week I am going to the theatre to see a show, in both cases there will be a lot of people about and I no longer care.
I thought that my first time out would be an understated affair wherein I would interact with nobody but it didn't work that way (see my article).
You have made the first trip out, even if only to a filling station, it is unlikely to be your last. Once you realise that, for the most part, people don't care and that shop assistants are the most accommodating people in the universe, you will go out more and more and you will love it.
Hugs
Becca
@lovelylola Lola honey this is excellent 🙂 The genie is now out of the bottle - well done, I'm really pleased for you 🤗 The world can now become your oyster, it's just a matter of reaching out and grabbing it when you're ready to.
In my journey, I was about where you are only a few short months ago, and like Becca above I already no longer care about other peoples' reactions ... but the best bit is, not that there have even been any. It just seems like no-one cares! And really, don't worry about the voice. If you've made the effort to present nicely and you at least speak softly and slightly higher than normal, everyone seems to give you credit for expressing your authentic self.
Congratulations again honey, and I look forward to reading your progress as you continue to blossom into the world 🙂
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
@lovelylola I think that was great and bold things you did. I know those feelings you had very well.
Hi Lola
I'm so happy for you for getting out there. I love how your post captures the little things like your hair in your face. Details that seem small until one experiences them, I bet!
Very inspiring for those of us who have not yet ventured.
Thanks for sharing!
Denise
Lola,
Congratulations on stepping out, even if only from the car. Your inspiring me, maybe some day I can announce like you have. Many thanks for sharing.
xxx
Jamie
@jwhite Thanks Jamie! It's been many years and many of the friends I've made here have moved much faster but we all move at our own pace. I will say, when you're ready it's great to get out if even just a little bit.
Hugs,
❤️Lola
Buckle up, girl, you've pushed the cart over the edge of the hill. Let yourself enjoy the ride! 😉
I plan to keep my own personal cart on a gentle incline, and make sure that an adequate steering mechanism AND brakes are installed before I climb into it.
I'd also like it to have some comfy cushions and a good sound system 🙂
@ellyd22 Where's the fun in that?!
stands atop the hill waving to Ellie....holding all of her fancy, high tech upgrades...making buckling motion 🙂
*Ellie's heart pounds as the cart begins to gather speed. She scrabbles frantically for the seat belt, realising too late that in her enthusiasm Melodee has accidentally removed that as well. All that Ellie can do is to close her eyes, hold on tightly to the sides, and hope that the trolley doesn't head off across a busy intersection*
@ellyd22 Never fear, m'dear, I'm in the cart right beside you and I'll not leave your side. [[hug]]
*Even while the cart continues to pick up speed, Ellie finds herself hoping that Melodee has thought to bring snacks*
*Ellie begins to fish a variety of unfamiliar American snacks from the sack. Biting experimentally into a Twinkie, she realises how much she has missed Melodee while she's been at Keystone*
Ooh ... is it really?
*Ellie takes out her notebook and starts to scribble furiously*
*Frowns*
Hold on ... you are going to be there, aren't you?
You two are killin' me 
Love the exchange. I want whatever you're having, and one of those cool carts too!
@lovelylola This is (rather amazingly) just what we're like sober...well, speaking only for myself, anyway. It's evening for Ellie, so all bets are off.
And you're already in your own cart, girl! 😉
*Hands on hips*
What are you shuggesting?
It's only 7.50 pm here and I am TOTALLY shober.
Umhmm I hear ya. I get off work in about 30 minutes, maybe I'll think a think or two myself after I slip into my favorite fuzzy pink slippers.
And yes, I've killed the better part of a work day chatting on CDH. What a great day!
Umm. If you're gonna hang with me that cart will have a supercharger, crisp steering, and an emergency brake!
/EA
@emilyalt
Haha. So much for slow and steady. Sounds like your cart does the quarter mile in about 9 seconds!
I know that Jacqui! I said emergency brake! Surviving to do it another day is mandatory!
@emilyalt
That's what I wanted, but @melodeescarlet removed it all and just pushed me down the hill 🙁
I will Melodee! That was about a week ago and today it was time to fill the gas tank again. I came sooo close to going home first and dressing for the trip again! Sadly time did not permit. Maybe next time. 👍
❤️Lola
Lola -
Very happy for you having that experience. Hopefully you'll be able to repeat it soon. It's one I'm still waiting to have.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue I'm sure the time will come for you Suzanne, it was something I thought about for years too. The actual action was totally spontaneous. I got dressed, took a couple photos and posted them here on CDH. Then I happened to look out, saw the car in the driveway and said "I'm doing this!" If I had thought any more about it I probably would have chickened out.
💖Lola
It's the start of getting out there as you learned something for next time -Check the wind speed! Thanks for sharing a lovely experience.
There are so many positive reasons to go out into the world and experience it as Lola, as your friends here have mentioned. I think the most important one is- because it is who you are. You are allowing yourself to become YOU. We all are…
@chanel Yes we are, and thank you for your kind words Chanel. It is also important that we have this lovely space where we can share and discuss our milestones with a positive and reaffirming sisterhood.
Congratulations Lola. That 100% counts. So glad it was such a positive experience for you.
Way to go Lola! It may seem like a small step but it was a huge 🚶♀️ step! Yay!!!
