Major wobble, my armour slipped.

@bianca Hope you're ok. Hugs, Anna xx

@bianca 

Bianca, first of all, thank you for sharing this with us, I'm sure every single one of us can feel what you felt on that dance floor.

Remember, though, that you did nothing wrong, except in the eyes and what passes for minds of these people. There will always be those for whom denigrating others compensates for, or more accurately, hides their own inadequacies. We are better than that but, of course, to be on the receiving end hurts.

Remember also, until that point, you were having a good time and their behaviour didn't ruin your whole night, it ruined the, admittedly hastened, end. I offer that thought for you to consider when deciding how to answer questions about the night.

You are beautiful and we love you, that won't change so neither should you.

Hugs 

Allie x

@bianca Maybe, just maybe they all got so caught up in where they were going that they just thought everyone was on the bus. It happens, they might have realized who was missing or maybe they thought you left already. 

As far as the other woman, do you really care ? Some people never grow up. Some people stay mean their entire lives. Don' let a Susie Downer get to you. They are probably someone who you would probably never want to spend any time with.  

@bianca 

Oh Bianca, I'm so sorry. That can't have been how you expected the evening to pan out. No wonder you ended up feeling the way you did.

As others have said, you did nothing wrong. The mystifying part is why your work colleagues left so suddenly without you, given that they all know about Bianca.

If it was me in your shoes, I'd want to set the record straight. I couldn't keep going to work thinking that my relationship with my colleagues had changed on so personal a level. I would choose one person whom I feel I could trust the most to tell me what had happened.

It may turn out to have been a misunderstanding, or poor communication. Your colleagues may have mistakenly thought you'd left, and coincidentally chose the time of your absence to do likewise. Or they may have had deliberately abandoned you for reasons best known to themselves. It was a work party, so make no mistake, we may be venturing into the area of bullying and harassment.

I think that, one way or another, you need to let them know how this episode made you feel, because your feelings matter. Bottling it up is like putting a sticking plaster on a broken leg. I don't blame you for dreading seeing your colleagues. There's an issue that needs resolving, and it may herald some sort of change.

I wish that I and some of your CDH sisters could have been there to support you.

Much hugs,

Jacqui

xxx

@bianca Oh Bianca, I'm so sorry you've had what you perceive to be a setback honey. Firstly can I just say you looked wonderful in your ball gown. An outfit like that is an unfulfilled dream of mine. I wouldn't read too much into your crowd leaving the party. That can't possibly be anything to do with you. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. As for getting clocked, well yes it happens but don't overthink this. You looked beautiful and we all love you here. We have your back Bianca.

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

@bianca

Dear Bianca,

That was a horrible experience for you, unfortunately there are some people who are just bullies basically and make others’ lives miserable.

You are a beautiful woman and I hope you can get over this asap and show your gorgeous self to the world again.

I do think your work colleagues definitely owe you an explanation for their disappearance by the way.

Love and hugs,

Wendy xx

@bianca I'm so sorry to hear that what looked to be such a wonderful evening turned really sour like that.  I can only think that most of your work colleagues leaving while you were in the Ladies was just a matter of poor timing, but it's a shame that you were already a bit on the back foot from that by the time of your encounter with the mean girls.  I'm reading from your account that they were from some other company also attending the same function.  Even though you were the one who ended up having to leave with her head down, they were most certainly the ones with the problem in that situation, not you. 

I'm sure you'd have known if any such attitudes prevailed amongst your colleagues, and you wouldn't have felt comfortable to bring Bianca to the ball in the first place.  I'm just sorry you had to encounter the wrong people like that.  For all that we mostly don't get any issues presenting our feminine selves in public, sadly there is always the possibility, and of course sod's law will see to it that it occurs at just the wrong time. 

I'm sure all of us, your sisters at CDH, have our arms round your shoulders.  Chin up honey, you are gorgeous as Bianca, and absolutely valid.  Don't let some strangers' narrow minds put you off your stiletto-stride, you keep right on wowing just by being yourself 🙂

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

@bianca 

My dear Bianca, 

 I'm pretty sure that if one of us CDH girls were there with you on that night. We would eagerly jump at the chance to dance with you!

 Heck I'd give it a go. Even though I'm a double left footed dancer. The only pain you would have felt was a unfortunate sore toe or two!

 I think those ear whispers was the result of to many adult beverages. Also their showing of their bad manners exceeding their bad manners!

 Most importantly I sincerely hope you can resolve this bump in the road and rise above it and go on and be you're best self!

Fran 🥰 

@bianca Hey Bianca,

      I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's tough when people don't accept you. I know what it's like when you feel so confident and comfortable, and then someone comes along and ruins it. You mention feeling like a kid again in school, and I can relate so well to that. I've never really felt like I fit in, so I've been in that place many, many times.

     I can say all of the usual things we often say here to support each other:

"It's them, not you."

"You look really beautiful, so just enjoy going out, even if others have a problem with it."

"No matter what you do, someone isn't going to like it, so you just have to learn how to do your thing without worrying about approval from others."

"It takes time to find true friends, but they're out there."

"We care about you and are here for you."

Those things are all true, but they don't always make the pain feel any less. Sometimes it just takes time.

Don't give up. We've all been there, and we're here for you.

P.S. Oh, and by the way, that corset top in your profile pick is to die for! I love it, and it looks so good on you.

@bianca Oh, Bianca, I am so sorry this happened to you. Since you didn't hear what was said with the group of women you really don't know what was said . Although I do fear your guess was correct you need to find a way to get through this. This is very difficult though. Many of us have gone through similar things. 

 I do wish you had a friend from your original group who could have had your back at the time. 

We all care and wish for better days for you. 

Cassie 

@bianca Bianca, I’m so sorry there were nasty people around you that made you feel bad.  This should never happen.  You are a beautiful woman.  I wonder if they were jealous because you looked better than they did?

@bianca Tell them how much you enjoyed the evening and the dancing. Say nothing about the look from the woman or anything else. Act as if it never happened and let someone else bring it up if they wish.

Don't destroy the fun you had.

Thank you so much for all you messages of support, it means a lot.

B 🩷