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Hi Everyone, i am posting this because of an event today at work. I wish i could say it was positive, but i'd be fibbing if i said it was. My manager at work, who knows i crossdress, shows a general interest in photos i show etc, true he doesnt ask me the ins and outs of it all, but suffice to say he is willing to listen and see any photos i deem to show him.
Today, i showed him my picture of me in my hotpants, showing my legs, which i work so hard on to keep them as good as i can, yesterday, i was on a high, because i was pleased how the photos came out and if i was to say myself, they looked pretty decent, not perfect by any means! anyway, i showed him and he replied 'your legs are awful, too thin and gangly' talk about an instant morale crusher! to be fair now, i'm seriously wondering on bothering to ever post anymore pictures at all.
After i decided enough was enough, i figured 'hang on' what does he know anyway? he isnt even a crossdresser. He doesnt understand the plights most of us fight with, the need for many of us to show our Feminine features, not counting all the hard work achieving it all.
The sad truth in it all Girls, is that most non-crossdressers simply view us as 'men wearing ladies clothes' a statement which i'm fiercly opposed to. It makes a complete mockery of all our needs, hopes and dreams. So, i am not going to let this opinion get me down, i am made of stronger stuff than that, if they think i'm ugly or undesirable, well thats their opinions, i try my best, i cannot do any better.
So my message to everyone here on this site is, love yourself for who you are, forget all the people who pass judgement, each and every one of you are beautiful in your own right, you all deserve respect, compassion and care. The events today have hurt me, made me feel bad about myself (i have poor self-esteem at the best of times) but i will pull through and if any of you are suffering a similar situation, you must carry on, do not let people get you down, you are all better than that, plus, you have people that respect you here!! see? its not all bad news is it?
Take care Girls and i'm sorry for rambling on.....
Fiona-Ann xxxx
he is my manager and a close friend too. Maybe he was just having a bad day, or he just said it to get a rise out of me, either way, i just felt hurt. I am only human, like the rest of us, i am not made out of stone and believe it or not, i actually have feelings too!
Fiona-Ann xxx
Sounds like you have the right attitude already. BTW, does he imagine himself to be Adonis?
If he thought you wanted direct honest feedback then that is not the way to do it! I mean things you can change like clothing, hair, makeup you might want some feedback on, (and you might do better coming here for such advice), but telling you such things about your legs is rather appalling. And no, your legs are not awful, they look nice and long and slim (I've seen your June photos). You should see my short spotty legs if you want to know what awful legs are.
Is it possible he was trying to put you off showing him any photos in the future?
Your final paragraph is so well put. No matter why or how any of us dress, we can all have those days when you don't like what you see in the mirror, when other people push us down, and you just want to either hide or throw it all away. Come here and have a hug!
*hugs*
Jasmine
Fiona,
Please read this knowing that I understand where you are coming from. (You and most of us in this site and similar other sites).
I have wrote about it in previous messages in the forums and maybe in a couple articles... We do get some very nice compliments in here from people who are our friends or just know how it is not easy for somebody who was born as a man to try to look nice as a woman. But outside of here... things are different.
It is very few cd/tg/ts who can actually post one photograph online (or show one photograph to somebody in real life) who will be seen as a beautiful woman. For the most part, people paying any attention will be able to see the tell signs... from a prominent Adam's apple, larger hands/feet, skinny hips, facial structure, etc. So there are two different issues... I guess he gave you his honest opinion (To which others may agree or disagree) but he didn't have in consideration who you are. Most of us, if not all, can be "read/made out" at least in some of our pictures. True, most people will be polite and will not state that, but in his case, he did.
Of course, if we were to decide about "hanging our heels" based on those types of comments, there would be none to turn off the lights! All comments and opinions should be taken with a grain of salt... the great ones and the bad ones in particular.
And now, just another possible aspect... Maybe he thinks that if he tells you that you are pretty you will then think that he likes you "that way"? To which most guys may have a bad reaction...
At the end of the day, others can't decide how you feel about yourself. Lesson learned, I hope. No more showing pics to him. Even if he asks... And don't let your feelings be hurt... it is not worth it.
Hugs,
Gaby ♥
Thanks for sharing Fiona. I am sorry that he was so tasteless and lacking any tact at all, but good for you for not letting him determine your attitude and how you feel about yourself. Very positive message for all of us girls to take to heart.
I am sorry for your experience. I have started to show a very select few of, how shall I say it "outsiders" pictures of me dressed, and it is a hard thing to do to open up like that. I have to say it is very tactless to make that kind of comment, but you have the right attitude!
Keep up that point of view, even though it might be hard to do sometimes!
Amy
I think everyone here knows at least a bit of how you felt and we do empathize with you.
Equally though, I get so annoyed with what I feel are false compliments from men just trying get into my panties or use me to exploit their fetishes. Thanks to CDH, I am starting to believe that platonic relationships might actually exist.
Yes, people here are so incredibly supportive and that is wonderful. Just be you, enjoy the ups and think of the downs as a motivation to be greater then ever.
Hi Fiona- Ann ,
Don't let a single isolated comment get you down , I guess the more we're open the more chance of having to deal with some level of rudeness / negativity.......if that's how he felt then perhaps needs to learn how to be nice in giving his opinion , Tiff
Hi Fiona,
Sometimes people say things without thinking, I'm sure your legs look great.
You be proud of how you look.
we think you're great.
Patty
Hi Girls, now the drama has quietened down and that i have had time to reflect upon things, maybe it was not the best thing to do. I think that because i felt on a high and that i felt so proud of myself, that i felt other people should be. However, this is a crossdressing situation and not all people are willing to be as enthusiastic as me! If anything, this has taught me to be a little more careful and be too keen on just presenting photos of myself willy nilly. It still hurt, by geez it did, but you have to make mistakes to learn from them, we are all on a little thing we all call a journey which is just that! we are bound to have mishaps along the way as well as victories. My problem is i am far too sensitive, i take things to heart and dwell on them, of course, we are not all like that, many would just take it on the chin, shrug and walk away. Maybe, i got a little too complacent, ive been knocked down a peg or two, but now i am grateful for it, i have learnt an important lesson, being, be careful who you show pictures to, especially in a working environment. The good news, is no harm has been done, no-one thinks any worse of me and i'm carrying on as per normal.
Thanks for all your support and input. It is nice seeing it from various angles and views.
Fiona-Ann xxx
Fiona...by Dear Sister! I do watch you enmorph to that Princess you are doing, and fret of your own down/ups! Sweety......as you no have, there are people are quick to critize, all albeit...do not agree. I advice that you be carefully those who you bring in your alterlife.....business/social. These upsets will happen and move on. More genetic females are "not perfect"........no model fashion perfect as actress glamour girl is as well. We shalt seek the truth and love those as the whole if the person.....no one is a "Barbie" model. Always, remember this, WE are 30,000 strong, loving Sisters!!!
Love.........
Dame Veronica
Jasmine I agree. I think he only made insults to discourage Fiona from showing any more photos in the future.
Hi Fiona !
1. I think your boss friend is a douche. Just calling it like I see it.
2. Perhaps seeing the pictures makes him uncomfortable but he doesn't want to admit that so he insulted you hoping you wouldn't share any more.
3. Any chance you can go to work dressed ?
4. We love you no matter what he says.
Hugs
Autumn
Hi Autumn, unfortunately there is little chance of me being dressed at work (no matter how much i would like to) because its predominantly a male environment and being retail as well we get a lot of masculine builders coming in. It Sucks, it really does, but i have to accept reality.
Fiona-Ann xxx
