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Well I am back after a break, and I will admit I have missed the friendship and love this site so warmly gives.
After months of intense internal turmoil I have moved from my family home that my wife and I built together.
I have struggled with the guilt of leaving, it seemed a betrayal of her love and commitment to me, and her memory. Each room bore the hallmark of her love, the walls echoed with her laughter, and each door opened, flooded me with memories.
It's where we raised two beautiful girls, each their own individual, but blessed with their mothers warmth, sensitivity, and natural beauty.
My fear of moving, would I, could i , will I lose these precious memories, would I last with out being with her in our haven.
Would moving away fade her from my daily life, slowly with out me noticing, like a feather drifting in the wind until its erased from sight.
Was this the alternate betrayal, to choose to live nearer to my daughters and grandchildren, than live with the spirit of my wife and memories.
Well the removal day came, and everything was loaded and gone.
Just me and my two daughters stood in the front room, silence was broken, I had cracked, floods of tears rained down my face, my heart was speaking through my eyes. Seconds later both daughters wrapped their arms around me, and there we were all three in floods of tears hugging tightly together, each with the pain and sadness of a part of a wife and a mum eroded.
As for the move, well time will tell.
The old house, I must admit I have sat out side a couple of time when I am feeling down, but me and the wife still have our conversations in the car, and I tell her all about the girls, that was one of her qualities, great at listening too.
Amanda , your words have bought tears to my eyes , pain in my heart for you all.
I can only send you positive thoughts over the miles & hope as the days go by there's more smiles for you all 💐💐 Tiff
Amanda, I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. The breakup of a family is comparable to the loss of a loved one - in some circumstances, even worse. I can only hope and pray that you will work your way through the pain, and still be the parent your daughters will need, more than ever.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Thank you all for the kind words. Very much appreciated. lol Amanda X
Hello Amanda....your story is not only heart wrenching and very tragic, but beautifully written. I can almost reach out and touch your heartache... I'm sure everyone here feels your pain and will give you any support and love they can...I could say be brave, but you have already proved that!!....so I will just say, stay strong and give your beautiful girls the love they need..... here's to the future, huggs,. Grace xx
Dear Amanda,
Your story breaks my heart. I lived thru a terrible divorce. My children were young at the time. Do some nice things for yourself and be kind to yourself. You have a great future ahead of you!
Warm hugs,
Kay
