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My confused mental state

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Posts: 5134
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Topic starter
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

as of the current moment, I’m split between my feminine side and masculine side.  At times a want to be a women and at other times I just want to be my regular self(50-70%). Is there anyway to physically be between male and female?

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I know exactly how you feel. Some days I sooo want to be a woman, other days I'm fine being a man. I feel I'm 90% woman and 10% male about 90% of the time, I have female desires and urges.

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Posts: 2296
Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I like being a man, but I love to wear pantyhose with sexy shoes and show off my legs in a short dress. Then I put on my bra, wig and some makeup and I'm Patty. I Like being Patty so much, I'm usually her except when situations and circumstances dictate I can't or shouldn't be.

I found I've become gender fluid. I can be a man but dress in my Patty clothes and present as a woman. I love the clothes and really love being a cross dresser.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

What sucks is that society expects one or the other. I don't though 🙂   Transgenders often talk about the between stage when on hormones. If you started them I'm sure you would get to those percentages physically. Of course there are risks. You could do other things   Like work out your bum and legs. Skip upper body; grow out your hair and shave your body. That's what I do, for now.  I don't know if this helps. The man bun is in now too so no one would say anything. There are benefits to all of the above. Wish you the best.

 

P

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Posts: 144
Lady
(@jimi)
Estimable Member     Bullhead City, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Patty, My sediments exactly. I enjoy being a man doing traditionally man things (work on my classic Chevys, do regular maint on drivers, etc.). But I also enjoy my Jamie side. When dressed I feel more in touch with my body and feelings. I love the feeling of women's clothes and love to look in the mirror at the woman I've become. I always sleep in nighties and dress most evenings so I would say I'm 70% Jamie and 30% Jim.

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Posts: 42
(@courtney01)
Eminent Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Thank you for the article. For me I have always been in the closet and have never shared with anyone. That said I find that even though I am cross dressing under my clothes Courtney finds her way in to the light, through mannerisms, the way I carry myself and how I treat others. I love who I am when I am Courtney and I know who I am it’s all most fluid for me.  I don’t know if  I can put a percentage on it.

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Posts: 2144
(@cyberian2)
Noble Member     Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Macy....your confusion is not rare....a lot of us felt that way at first. There is nothing wrong with being 50/50. Woman one day...male the next.  As a male your could grow breasts and leave it at that. No need to full transgender. Then one day if you decide what you want you could transgender or if you don't grow breasts but use silicon forms.....you can stay male and still dress up. Hope this helps a bit.

Dame Veronica

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Posts: 15
Lady
(@noddyhh)
Active Member     Rochester, New Hampshire, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

My thoughts exactly ladies, I spent most of my life in the masculine, but Lacey was always there, sometimes sleeping in my heart sometimes outgoing. I did some acting in femme some years ago, I was Lacey mostly then. But life and society dictates differently.  But she has come out quite a bit lately, I am not trying to stop my inclinations but finally be free. Its hard to put a percentage on it. If you consider only when dressed in femme, or when she is in your heart.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Macy,

What you feel is a normal state of being for us. Mentally there will be days when you are full fledged male and others where you are full fledged female. The in between state is what, in my mind, I term as my twilight state. I am not feeling full fledged either but in fact a combination of both to varying degrees. Like tonight, here I am home all alone and all I feel like putting on are a pair of nice frilly satin and lace panties and my Nina T-Strap 4" heels. I am neither in a male mode or female mode @ 100% tonight so I feel twilight. I have found that I have more days in twilight than I do full fledged of either gender. This may be due to the lack of dressing opportunities I have and how much time I expect to have alone.

Now if you are talking in the physical and not the mental state that is a different ball of wax. As others have mentioned the closest you can be to an "in between state" is either to grow breasts and take hormone treatments, have breast implants (not the best choice if you still want to present as a man at times) or utilize breast-forms. There are appliances which you put on that simulate a vagina and one can even have sex with the more expensive one as it replicates the vagina in more than just looks. Being twilight in the physical being is a more permanent choice but is not totally permanent if you know what I mean. I wouldn't dwell on this state of flux you are feeling because on a different day and you may feel more female than male and vice versa and as I mentioned at the beginning this is normal and we all seem to go through varying degrees of this quandary as our lives progress.

I do hope this helps in some fashion Macy because you should not stress too much over this. I believe we are as God intended us to be and we should embrace ourselves as we are and not dwell on what society thinks we should be. You are your own person and can be whoever and whatever you wish to be. TTFN

Danielle

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