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Ever since my wife became fully accepting of Roberta over three years ago I can't help thinking how different my Roberta time is now.When I was closeted my enfeme sessions were restricted.The nicest thing was putting on the clothes.There would be delicious frission when donning the tights,heels,skirts and dresses.On the minus side there would be that sense that I was doing something behind my wife's back.In those dsys there would be much appraising myself in the mirror admiring my hosed legs.I feel embarassed about this now.My way of thinkimg that no real woman would do that for such an extended period.There's only so much time you can look in the mirror and sing 'I Feel Pretty' like Maria in West Side Story.Now my wife let's me be Roberta everyday if anything my time as Roberta is longer,far more rewarding and far more relaxed.My heart doesn't beat fast anymore when I put on my tights.Instead I feel like a real woman.I can just relax all day doing day to day things at home but now bathing in the joy of my feminity instead of just posing and worrying that someone was coming in from the front door and catching me. In a nutshell I can be who I want to be.I realise that many of you on here are still closeted hiding your female side from your loved ones.My heart goes out to you.I hope that one day that your nearest and dearest will be accepting too.It took my wife nine years so don't give up hope.
Hi..Roberta,
- I'm 23 young crossdresser, thankyou for sharing such beautiful story with us. Since I'm not married that's not an issue but still I'm living with my family, so I'm still a closet crossdresser and hope i can crossdress for the rest of my life happily
It's great to hear that your wife is acceptting. It does make it easier to come to terms with dressing and really takes a load of. My wife is acceptting and lets me be Nicole when ever I want.
A supportive wife is worth her weight in gold and more!
IMHO, yes, the CD experience can grow and develop to be a wonderful experience for BOTH the spouse and/or girlfriend and the CD, which is why, IMHO, it is so very important for the wife or GF to participate in support meetings, if they are available in your area.
My support group offers free membership to spouses, as well as the availability of serving in group leadership positions. In February, we have a Valentine's Dinner to honor spouses. The CDs do not cross dress, so that the attention is focused on the spouses, at this annual event.
The spouse/GF role is critical, and they need the support of other spouses and GFs.
I have seen accepting spouses gradually move to being supportive spouses, given time, understanding, and support.
Roberta,
I cannot agree more with your sentiment and conclusion. Keeping my preference of clothing from my wife (it was only 4 months) nearly drove me insane. My relationship with my wife is about be honest with each other. Her support and love since sharing with her has meant so much to me.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I am very lucky that my pattern knew my fem side long before they met my male side, so have never been in that situation.
However I do understand the issues with restrictions and not being able to dress when you wish, and then the removal of the restriction so as what you enjoyed doing becomes the norm and looses some of its gloss as familiarity takes over and the next ‘thing’ takes it place.
Looking back at all the restrictions in my dressing life, home when growing up, with homophobic/transphobic patents, then in the pre-acceptance days in RAF and now to the point were I have no restrictions, (other than a few ‘sensible’ rules) I can be forgiven in forgetting how far Ive have come, and what was once an adventure is now just a routine step taken for granted.
But dont forget - NEVER take a supportive partner for granted as they are like Golden Unicorns !
hugs
Dawn
without the support of my SO I couldnt do this with the freedom id need to so it is so crucial, The guilt of not being honest would taint anything that I could enjoy from it. I know im so lucky and just wish everyone could be as open.
Its wonderful isn't it Roberta? It can make all the difference in the world.
I didn't even start crossdressing until shortly before meeting my current SO and I let her know about it before discussing her moving in. My Ex of 28yrs would not have been understanding in the least. My current relationship is based on honesty and mutual respect, her acceptance and involvement means alot and has allowed me to grow much more easily. I read with interest, many of the girls posts about their partners who either don't know or don't approve and marvel at how they can manage it. I can only imagine how difficult it would be both physically and emotionaly to be in the closet, in my own home(not sure I would or could). It appears that even in the year or so that I've been on CDH the number of accepting or tolerant partners has increased, whether its because societal views are changing or because we're not as afraid to stand up and be who we really feel I can't say. It serves as a constant reminder just how blessed some of truly are
Though I never kept my very occasional dressing from my wife, she was a bit disconcerted when it grew much more serious late last year,but she came accept, but the next bridge was wanting go out into the world as Amy. All of these she has come to accept, and she helps me shop, and our feet are just about the same size, so she will try the shoes on, and if they fit her, they'll fit me. I simply couldn't ask for a better partner to share this life with!
Amy
Roberta, It's only been weeks for me, but such a change. Now, my wife sees me in a skirt every day when she wakes (instead of dressing for a couple of hours before she does). We discuss wardrobes, makeup, painting our nails..... So good to be free.
Thanks for the topic! I can totally relate. I barely got to dress when I was in the closet but now my wife helps pick out clothes and will help with my makeup etc. we’ve even been out in public a couple times to go shopping and it was awesome! We wear the same size which is nice and we went into the dressing rooms together to try on clothes. It was so fun! Can’t wait to do it again. I am so so lucky to have her. She lets me dress at home almost whenever I want. She’s the best!
Thanks again!
Pam
Thanks for sharing Roberta,
My wife is just tolerant of my dressing you are so fortunate.
It must be incredible to stay in femme mode most of the time.
Patty