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My Husband Likes to Wear Women's Clothes

24 Posts
12 Users
32 Reactions
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Posts: 370
Lady
Topic starter
(@sf)
Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

For all of us crossdressers who are married or have a significant other.  I came across an article with the above title a while back while doing some research on why we do what we do.  My wifey has also asked me why many times and I have no answer, other that it is a part of me.  

The sub-title of the article is, 19 things You Should - and Shouldn't - Do.  The article is addressed to wives of crossdressers, is well written and has some very valid points / advice that seem reasonable, to me at least.  

The article is lengthy, and I don't know if for copyright reasons if I should even post it here.  However if you are interested, it can be found at the 'HerNorm' website under the Relationship Advice section.  

I printed a copy for wifey to read, she said that she would take a look, will be interesting to get her opinion.  

If you are so inclined to look the article up I would be interested in your opinion as well.  

Take care, have fun, enjoy your crossdressing.....    Staci...

PS: For admin folks, it OK to post the website address???  To copy and paste??  

 

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23 Replies
8 Replies
Lady
(@chris60)
Joined: 6 months ago

Trusted Member     Hernando Beach, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 12

@sf Fantastic article. I will give this to my wife to read over.

Thank you for sharing

 

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@chris60 Kris,  Thanks....  I thought it was a great article as well.   Staci...

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@sf 

PS: For admin folks, it OK to post the website address???  To copy and paste??  

Sadly no ... but people should be able to find it easily by searching for 'HerNorm' and then going to the 'Relationship Advice' section as you suggest 🙂

Ellie x

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@sf This is the type of reference article that CDH should be making freely available. We should have written it, vetted it, and turned it into the main Google search return.

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Duchess
(@flatlander48)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Cathedral City, California, United States of America
Posts: 1470

@sf 

I think there is a popular misconception buried in there. Many people think that trans people, gays and lesbians BECOME. In other words, something happens that they are no longer cisgender heterosexual people. However, what really happens is that we are born as we are. Some know early on, but for others it is a process of discovery. In either case, it is a matter of understanding who we really are.

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@flatlander48 Miss DeeAnn, As for me, I have always had some sort of a fem side, with age, experience, and time, it evolved into me enjoying crossdressing.  And I love being me and you being you.   Staci...

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Managing Ambassador
(@bellaz76)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     London, Middlesex, United Kingdom
Posts: 363

@sf ohhhhhhh thank u for sharing, I’ve just read this and OH MY GOODNESS. YES I feel like if I’d have found this a few months ago it may have saved me and him a huge amount of convos , I feel like I could have written it myself now and completely agree with everything that is written and urge any one to ask their wives to read it if they are up for it. Facts facts facts and could actually help so many relationships. Xxxx

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@bellaz76 Thanks Laura...  That was my reaction as well, glad you found it to be relative.  Thanks for the support...  Staci...

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

great read, thank you for sharing

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1 Reply
Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@leah63 Leah,  Thanks, I find crossdressing, and why we do it, to be very intriguing for both us and our wives / significant others.

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Posts: 485
Lady
(@cherylt)
Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

There was a book years ago titled "My Husband Wears My Clothes". It was written by a spouse and was apparently very popular to give to a wife who is new to all this.

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5 Replies
Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@cherylt Cheryl,  Thanks.  I am aware of this book, it seems to be out of print and not available the last time I checked - about a year ago.  I would like to get a copy and read it someday.  Fortunately my wifey is somewhat amenable to learning about her husband's crossdressing "quirk."  Smile.  Thanks for your input.  Staci...

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 7 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 485

@sf Well, that was a very long time ago that I heard about that book. Seems like a lifetime now. There was another from that time frame. I never read it but it was called "My Husband Betty". Maybe try that one. 

Also you might try Crossdressers.com They have a FAB (Female At Birth) section that is only for wives of CD's. My wife joined that when I came out to her and she found lots of good info and thoughts of other wives. 

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@cherylt Cheryl,  Thanks agin!!  I am aware of the My Husband Betty book as well.  Would like to read that one also.  Just a matter of doing it.  I think that one was outta print as well.  

As for another crossdressing site - the one you recommended, I will tale a look.  I found CDH here by accident a few years back and like it 'cause it is very well moderated - keeps the, for lack of a better word, "weirdos" out.  I am just a "vanilla" hetero crossdresser that likes to wear gals clothes and blend in.  Wifey knows and that is all I care about.  I hate sneaking around.  Thanks agin, Staci  

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 7 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 485

@sf Look online. You might be able to find them as ebooks.

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 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 2172

@cherylt 

It is available on Amazon and used at AbeBooks fot com.

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I have several big problems with the article. My first problem is when it says "do your research." The problem is that too many internet searches about crossdressing lead to sites which send the wrong message. For example, he wants to be dominated, wants to be forced, wants to be cuckolded, wants to have to do acts with other men. Savannah Hauk has talked a bit on this over the years on her "The Fox and The Phoenix" podcast.

Related to this is for you to also do your research. I don't remember which one, but one of the books mentioned above, the author, having claimed he is just a crossdresser, had transitioned. So if you just give this book to your SO and say "read it" without having looked at it yourself, you're doing yourself a disservice.

Another big problem I had was "setting ground rules." My problem is that we change over time, and so the ground rules are probably not static. Many here will tell you that over time (sometimes over a long time, sometimes quite short) they go from feeling OK to do it only at home, to wanting to go out far from home, to going out around their neighborhood. Others have said their SO's have gone from acceptance to DADT. So ground rules have to be modified over time to suit the partners in the relationship.

My last problem is when it said "Don't tell your friends straight away." While I understand this from one perspective, you have to see the other side. After much debating and self doubt, you tell your SO about your crossdressing. She accepts it to one degree or another. You're relieved. You've now put this secret on your SO along with all the stress you had by telling her "don't tell anyone." I understand by adding "straight away," the burden isn't forever. But you can't just dump your burdon on your SO and walk away. Maybe she has a close friend who can share her secret and help her through it but won't tell the world. Or maybe encourage her to meet with other SO's of other crossdressers, either virtually (such as here) or in person at a conference with an SO track.

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4 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

Posted by: @alison-anderson

Or maybe encourage her to meet with other SO's of other crossdressers, either virtually (such as here) or in person at a conference with an SO track.

I have tried inviting my wife to monthly group dinners. Each time it goes over like a lead balloon.

It's as if the close proximity to other CDs would cause something to rub off onto her. 

 

 

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Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@harriette Harriette, That has generally been the reaction of my wifey when I ask her to attend a CD gathering.  Hopefully that might change with time...  Staci...

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1742

@harriette @sf The only thing we can do is provide resources for a potential outlet for her if she feels she wants to talk about it with others in similar situations. If she's happy or prefers to keep it to herself, that's her choice.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@alison-anderson Of course. But at least I can still make the offer, to open a door for her.

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Posts: 125
Duchess
(@traci429)
Reputable Member     Brighton area, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing the information. I read the article and it was very informative. I hope my wife is able to find articles like this. She does a lot of reading and has been researching this topic. -Traci

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leslienix)
Joined: 7 months ago

Reputable Member     Southport, Merseyside, United Kingdom
Posts: 170

@traci429 archive.org/details/digitaltransgenderarchive

tv/ts books and magazines

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