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For all of us crossdressers who are married or have a significant other. I came across an article with the above title a while back while doing some research on why we do what we do. My wifey has also asked me why many times and I have no answer, other that it is a part of me.
The sub-title of the article is, 19 things You Should - and Shouldn't - Do. The article is addressed to wives of crossdressers, is well written and has some very valid points / advice that seem reasonable, to me at least.
The article is lengthy, and I don't know if for copyright reasons if I should even post it here. However if you are interested, it can be found at the 'HerNorm' website under the Relationship Advice section.
I printed a copy for wifey to read, she said that she would take a look, will be interesting to get her opinion.
If you are so inclined to look the article up I would be interested in your opinion as well.
Take care, have fun, enjoy your crossdressing..... Staci...
PS: For admin folks, it OK to post the website address??? To copy and paste??
great read, thank you for sharing
There was a book years ago titled "My Husband Wears My Clothes". It was written by a spouse and was apparently very popular to give to a wife who is new to all this.
I have several big problems with the article. My first problem is when it says "do your research." The problem is that too many internet searches about crossdressing lead to sites which send the wrong message. For example, he wants to be dominated, wants to be forced, wants to be cuckolded, wants to have to do acts with other men. Savannah Hauk has talked a bit on this over the years on her "The Fox and The Phoenix" podcast.
Related to this is for you to also do your research. I don't remember which one, but one of the books mentioned above, the author, having claimed he is just a crossdresser, had transitioned. So if you just give this book to your SO and say "read it" without having looked at it yourself, you're doing yourself a disservice.
Another big problem I had was "setting ground rules." My problem is that we change over time, and so the ground rules are probably not static. Many here will tell you that over time (sometimes over a long time, sometimes quite short) they go from feeling OK to do it only at home, to wanting to go out far from home, to going out around their neighborhood. Others have said their SO's have gone from acceptance to DADT. So ground rules have to be modified over time to suit the partners in the relationship.
My last problem is when it said "Don't tell your friends straight away." While I understand this from one perspective, you have to see the other side. After much debating and self doubt, you tell your SO about your crossdressing. She accepts it to one degree or another. You're relieved. You've now put this secret on your SO along with all the stress you had by telling her "don't tell anyone." I understand by adding "straight away," the burden isn't forever. But you can't just dump your burdon on your SO and walk away. Maybe she has a close friend who can share her secret and help her through it but won't tell the world. Or maybe encourage her to meet with other SO's of other crossdressers, either virtually (such as here) or in person at a conference with an SO track.
Thank you for sharing the information. I read the article and it was very informative. I hope my wife is able to find articles like this. She does a lot of reading and has been researching this topic. -Traci