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Hi Ladies,
I'm wondering how many of you ladies are in my situation. My SO does not know about Angela. I'm not ready to tell her at this point but I want to explore being Angela. How do you hide your femme self from you SO? Do you hide your clothes in your home? Before my last purge i would hide everything in the attic. Do you girls have any tips on hiding hairy legs and arms? I'd like to go to an event or get a makeover in the near future but I'm nervous about my hairy legs. :/
Thanks for any advice ladies.
Angela
Hi Angela
How serious are you with your SO? I am asking because I firmly believe that you should be honest with them because otherwise further down the line when they find out they may feel betrayed. That is obviously my opinion but I have never got serious with someone I. E living with them without them knowing. My first wife came out as gay after our child was born and I felt that our entire time together had been a lie so if you want my advice it is better to risk rejection now than hurt them badly sometime down the line.
Not sure that you wanted to hear that but I have found that most partners are more forgiving with dressing than they would be with feeling they had been lied too
Susan
Hi Angela,
I am also a closet CD, who is married.
I'm lucky that my children have left home, and I have a spare bedroom as my (wo)man-cave.
I have lots of plastic storage boxes on top of wardrobes which contain ham radio equipment so my wife would never look, and a couple of these contain my secret stash of clothing.
My wife is quite old-fashioned, and although I do feel guilty for not telling her about Nikki, I am still not comfortable with the idea of telling her yet, and as our relationship is very good in every other way, I am really nervous about dropping the bombshell.
You are definitely not alone.
Nikki x
Nikki exactly the same. In closet, kids left or almost, not ready to reveal and happy that way for now. Stuffs in the loft though and no ham radio gear, stored under boxes of books. x.
I'm amazed at how many CD's I know who have been married and dressing for a long time. They get out to parties and meetings. Their wives don't know about their fem side. I wonder how they manage to keep it a secret.
Then there is others who finally decide to come out to their wives. Some wives take it badly and it ends the relationship. Others are accepting but wonder what else has been kept from them.
My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we first met. I was in my partial fem or androgynous attire. I was wearing pantyhose with short shorts and platform wedges. So when she saw the women's clothes in my place, I told her they were mine. It seemed believable because she already knew I wore some fem clothing items.
When I dressed for her, she was surprised at how pretty and sexy I was. I became her boyfriend and girlfriend. I think it was good we got that out of the way right in the beginning of our relationship.
Angela. I can totally relate. I’m a closeted cross dresser as well. I would love to have an image consultant help me with hair, makeup, nails and overall appearance.
Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all your responses. It feels good to know I'm not alone. I hear you ladies that say I should tell my SO. Maybe in the future but not now. Susan you asked if I was serious with my SO, I've been married for 27 years. My wife is not very accepting of the LGBTQ world and knowing her a conversation about Angela would not go well. One day I'd like to go out as Angela and maybe after that I will have that talk. Thanks for listening to a crazy girl's thoughts.
Angela
I totally agree, with Stephane, you will get caught. It is better to develop a plan to get her out in the open with your wife, slowly but surely. She will take much better by you telling her rather than her finding out any one of the possible ways and it will not go good. In the long run a little short term pain is well worth the potential long term happiness.
Now, your so may decide that is not for her, and tell you to do it, but I don't want to see it, worst case, she may leave you..
Well, about the hairy legs and arms. I got married at age 19. I was crossdressing
at that time but did not tell my wife. Sometime time later we bought our first home
and put in a swimming pool. I got all carried away one day a shaved my legs. When
my wife got home from work her first remark was "why did you shave your legs?"
I said so I would get a better tan. She said" Now, tell me the truth". I could not lie to her.
After I explained about my crossdressing her remark was that she had already suspected
it and figured I would tell her when I was ready. Her remark was I married you because
I love you and that is just a part of you. We were married for many years and she was always
understanding and very supportive. We shopped together, attended support group meeting
together, and for years had a very deep loving relationship. Sadly cancer took her a short time ago. Had I never took the chance and told her about my dressing but instead just let her catch me at it I'm not sure how my life would have turned out.
I hereby nominate myself as "Most likely to fall asleep while logged on to CDH"
I've been married for quite a while now and my wife still doesn't know about my crossdressing, i Crossdressed before i got married but gave it up for a long time, our children have all grown up and left home now so i have no problem with them, i only dress when my wife is away for a few days or a week on holiday, my stash of clothes are all tucked away in the attic as she doesn't go up there, maybe i should have told her before but I'm afraid of the consequences in case our marriage breaks down xxxxx
Hi Angela
As a SO of a CD I can honestly say that not all of us are open minded and accepting.
I am sorry that you feel you cannot speak to your wife about yourself, but when the time is right you will know, and I really do hope it goes well for you.
Please feel free to send me a message if you would like to chat.
Samantha x
Angela,
My wife is also not a fan of the LGBT crowd; in fact, when I mentioned to her that I was interested in women's clothes - to wear, that is - the first words out of her mouth were "Are you turning gay in your old age?" But she has surprised me by her tolerance for panties, hosiery, tops and femme trousers and shorts in my wardrobe. She even said OK to my favorite denim skirt (but no dresses). Had she found out on her own, there would have been hell to pay, I'm certain. I can't tell you how to do it, but you need to reveal Angela, somehow.
Oh, and we are talking about my soon-to-be first makeover. GGs are really unpredictable, as I'm sure most of us have learned.
Hugs,
Betylou
Hi. I am the product of a failed marriage that because of my CD’ing. It was ok initially but then she changed her mind after we were married. I went into the closet, but it was hard for me. I ended up bottling up my frustration. CDH didn’t exist and I had no one to talk too. Eventually we broke up in an amicable manner. I felt so guilty and responsible for the breakup. I so admire those if you who can make a relationship work while being closeted. Z
If your cross dressing goes back to childhood, or even just strong childhood fantasies, then best to get open as soon as possible.
Don't expect her to be immediately on your side, and don't demand anything, just tell it simply, like it is, no apologies but no demands. Yes, I said that twice!
Let it sink in gently, let her drove for a while, and get upset if that's what will happen.
I've been through this, and am still going through it. She screams sometimes, she just can't accept it in her husband, and while I am sympathetic to a point, my ground is beside her, as I promised at the altar.
I am her husband, and the father of our children. I have only changed for the better, and intend to improve.
I have a better job, more confidence, better social skills and less anxiety and depression since becoming an open cross dresser.
My cross dressing goes back to my earliest memories and is punctuated by serious events including attempted suicide at 13, driven by this harmless desire that feels like a need.
It's part of who I am, and it pains me that my wife seems to hate it so much, but our bond is so strong that she does support my need, and treats me like a husband.
It's a journey!
Love Laura