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My SO is Embarrassed by my Crossdressing

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This is the bitch about unconditional love: your wife may love you unconditionally, no matter how you express yourself, but other people within your social circle may not have that same latitude. You stated you wanted to tell a few close friends, and this will embarrass her. In the mean time she told her best friends.

My wife and I have mutual friends, but we each have different feelings about them. While she might whole heatedly trust someone, my "spider sense" might go off, and not trust them. Consider that the friends you want to confide in, may not be people that your wife would confide in at all? She accepts you unconditionally, but feels that others will not?  When thinking of married friend couples, in some way I consider them a "unit".

Your wife represents the household you live in, equally as you do. What is tolerated in the household may not be socially accepted equally among friends. Just something to consider....

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