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Last Saturday our crossdresser support group had a Trans Picnic at a local park with about 70 people attending. It was so much fun to be out in the open with others of like mind and dressed in whatever I wanted to wear (which was my favorite pleated jean skirt). I had my toe nails and finger nails painted, which I enjoy so much sometimes. (Sometimes I couldn't care less, lol.)
When I paint my fingernails, I have to decide when it comes off in case I'm going to a straight (cis) event, especially business focused networking, etc. I haven't come out to that many people, so there's still the uneasiness of being "discovered" by people I know. Strangers, I guess, don't count, haha.
After Saturday, I decided to wear the nails to church on Sunday. My church is a metaphysical church, and everyone is very accepting in theory. But I always fear that they might treat me differently if they discover my true self. Then again, I've been revealing "hints" over the past several months, including the week before with toes painted in sandals. Hardly anyone noticed. Why? Because I didn't. I didn't feel self-conscious. A couple people (women) complimented them (irridescent teal), but no questions.
So this past Sunday I left my finger nails painted, though it was a subtle mauve pink and not a bright blue or anything. Sandals for the teal toes. A simple necklace. A bright red button down male shirt with women's jeans (not skinny). Again, a few compliments and comparisons on the nails. One woman said we should trade polish, she liked mine.
But then, that evening, I wanted to go to my usual blues open mic night at the bar and play harmonica. Much of the crowd is very traditional, but that night I had a devil-may-care attitude, and went with my nails.
Back at Halloween (9 months ago) I had painted my nails black, and then kept the black when I went to the open mic that week. When you have a solo, all eyes are on you, and the harmonica has to be held with painted nails! Lots of looks, and even a couple questions: "What was your costume? That you painted your nails for?" I think people could sense my nervousness and insecurity, so they not only noticed the nails more, but picked up on my discomfort. Perhaps that discomfort leads them to the idea that it's not natural, even for me, and so it must be weird.
This week I heard no comments, didn't notice any looks, even while talking to people as I ate some pizza when the nails would be so obvious. I felt comfortable! And I think that's why others accepted it - because I accepted it!
As Tuesday's Toastmasters meeting (that was last night) approached, I kept waffling back and forth; "Take the polish off,Lorie! These are conservative people!" And, "Who gives a fig. It's my life!" The latter won out.
I was comfortable with the nails, I didn't try to hide them, and there were no comments, questions, or stares. Wow.
I guess the girls who say that it's a matter of confidence are right. And, for me, that confidence is not bravado, it's self acceptance. If I am comfortable with myself, others will be, too. I wish I knew how to build up that comfort level faster, but I'm just grateful that it's growing at any rate.
This morning I noticed those same nails as I practiced Tai Chi. They added so much to my feeling of gracefulness. I know this might sound silly, but as I noticed my nails, I felt more and more like a woman. Literally, like a woman. I was also dressed to a degree. But I don't know if I've ever felt so clear as a woman with a woman's body and movement. Even my eyes felt like they saw things from a feminine lens.
How comfortable are you with your feminine features? Is that the key for confidence? When have you FELT the woman within expressing through every cell of your body?
Well I don't keep my finger nails polished, I do have long dark red (dyed) hair and two silver half circle ear rings. I work with electricity and no one bothers me about it. I have made comments about going to the drag show, I'm sure some people at work know but I don't care.
I have my toes done most of the time, but never the fingers. Risk over reward....your call.
Nicole, I know a transitioned girl who is an electrician. She also says it's hard to keep polish on her nails, even using gloves. That's tough. She uses gels because they'll last longer.
Hi Lorie , that's wonderful , I relate to this , my toe nails have been painted for 20+ years , people if they notice usually complement - along with the toe rings. I agree with the confidence point , "its me , nothing unusual , so carry on " is my mindset & it works. It's a massive part of my femminity , I do fingers occasionally in clear as I chip my nails constantly with my job , I buff & polish them more now. Im gender fluid & often feel the femme side aching through my body but daily I'm in the middle of the spectrum happily quite female 💋 Tiff
The same for me, most of the time Samantha. I keep breaking down the old mental barriers, at my own pace. I just took off my fingernail polish today, partly bec of my chiropractic appt. But tomorrow evening is another social with my sisters, so I'm going to do silver on my fingernails, which seems to be all the rage! I'll keep it on through Sunday at least.
I love royal blue, I'll have to look for some polish!
I have clear on my finger nails most of the time. I don't care if people notice it.
Some of the time I have my toes painted in various colours but only my family see me without socks and shoes.
Hi
On my days off I always wear nail polish I. Male mode. Had positive comments, usual envious of my skills. Love choosing colours. Never had negative comments
Amanda 🤗
