Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
My wife wants me to grow my beard back but of course I like being clean shavin. I enjoy my time as Alexandria it what gets me through the week. I offered a compromise of buying a silicone mask but she said I will think on it. So ladies what are your opinions, what can I do I'm lost. 
@alexislynn
Hi, Alexandria.
I shaved my 40-odd year old beard off just a couple of months ago and I'm pretty sure that my wife and daughters prefer me with it but I am intending to venture out again so it's staying off.
You say, in your profile, that your wife is accepting "within her limits". This may be one limit that she doesn't want to accept. I think further discussion may be required, and you telling her how much it means to you to be beard-free. If it's still a no-go, your response is your own to make. I hope you do get some answers that you might use with your wife though.
I thought about a silicone mask before I shaved my beard off but, for me, the whole point about getting dressed and dolled up, is that it's me. And I know I'll use hip pads and breast forms but I view them as ancillary while my face is my own, makeup or not.
I wish you well in remaining smooth of visage!
Allie x
I wear womens clothes everyday but haven't presented myself as a woman out in public.
It looks as if you dress similarly to how I dress and my wife prefers me with my moustache, too. It would be less confusing for strangers if I got rid of it. At this point, I don't have to get rid of it, but I would do it in a heartbeat.
All I can say about your situation is "happy wife, happy life". Someone will have to compromise.
@alexislynn I wear a silicone mask, the Taylor model from creafx in Italy. It is very lifelike and surprisingly comfortable to wear for 4 to 6 hours at a stretch.
My wife's one big stipulation to accepting my dressing was Not to Shave My Full Beard. The mask covers my entire head and allows me to use mascara and some eye shadow, and lipstick. The mask moves with my facial expressions and I can eat and drink with it on.
In full sunlight it does get hot, but I wear a nice floppy hat and that helps.
PM me if you want to chat more about masking.
Besides, the mask makes me look a LOT younger than I am!
(And better looking than if I had no beard and full makeup!)
Leah
@alexislynn
Everyone's situation is different. That said, I'm a proponent of being true to yourself.
My beard was a mask. It needed to go. It was one of my first steps to living authentically. My girlfriend wasn't happy about it. She said it changed my identity. Little did she know how true her words were. In the end, she recognized that I needed to be myself.
I truly hope you find your happy place.
/LK
@alexislynn I shaved my moustache that I had had over 30 years some 20 years ago and although I know she would love to have it back I just can't see it ever happening. I can't even consider letting this part of me go after being able to express it fully over those 20 years.
Is it about what your wife wants or what you want? If you don't want to wear a beard, do you and don't. It sounds like your wife is accepting of Alexandria but only superficially. Maybe she sees you having a beard as a way of suppressing your feminine persona. I hope I don't sound harsh but this is how it seems to me. Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and that you find something that works for you.
Lauren I tend to agree with you that it might be superficial , I've tried a couple of compromise but she keeps on about it. We've been married for over thirty years and she knew before we got married about my desire to spend time with my feminine side. She told me she was fine with it as long as it stayed inside the home. Thanks for the talk
I agree about the mask it's not me I love putting on makeup and becoming Alexandria. I myself had a beard for thirty years, but I have been clean shavin now for eight months and love it. I love my feminine side. Thanks for your input I appreciate it.
My wife (and I) loved my beard. Until I went grey, and started getting free seniors coffee from maccas. I hadn't turned . 50. So I died my hair and shaved it off. Andlook much younger.
I had a beard for nearly 40 years. For the last few years, it had gone white so I dyed it blue and everyone knew me as the guy with the blue beard. Then I started cross-dressing.
For the first couple of months (if it was even that long) I dressed with my blue beard intact, but every time I looked in the mirror I felt disappointed as I could never look feminine with it there. My wife was a little perturbed at first but she's got used to me being clean-shaven now, as has everyone else.
In the end, I decided that it had to go as it was ruining what I wanted to do and anyway, it's my face, I'll do what I want with it. I don't tell anyone else how to dress, what car they should drive, what music they should like and I'm damned if they are going to tell me what I should look like.
So there! 🙂
Becca
- @rebeccabaxter Thank you for your input, I will just have to sit down with my wife and have a heart to heart.
@alexislynn
Just say you'd like to shave it off for a few weeks, people get used to things. I thought I looked odd in the mirror myself for the first few weeks as I hadn't seen my whole face for decades, but it seems perfectly normal now and my wife hasn't mentioned my beard for months and months; don't think she ever will now.
Becca
It has been shaved off for six months now, I just wish she would respect my decision as I respect hers if she wants a haircut, because I love long hair. But I love her more so I respect her decision if it's going to make her happy.
@alexislynn
Oh sorry, I didn't realise it had been so long. Has she, out of the blue, asked you to grow it back or has she never accepted it's loss?
My natural hair is militay short, and I sport a neatly trimmed goatee and mustached which my wife absolutely loves. I also do not wear a wig, and haven't worn makeup beyond nail polish in over 6 years. This, however, has not stopped me from dressing as I wish, and conducting business, personal or otherwise, around town. Check out my profile photo and private photos for a visual explanation.
MacKenzie Alexandra
With me it is more than just wearing the clothing. For me I really don't care if I pass l just love the feeling it gives me to express myself to be who I am. I love that side of me it is so relaxing. I too sported a short military haircut, ten years in the USAF.
I have a goatee that I started growing after I retired from the Army. When I came out to my wife it wasn't and issue as our agreement is that my dressing stays in the house. Recently I've thought about shaving it off to be able to get the full Suzanne look with make up. My wife mentioned one day after I had trimmed my goatee shorter than usual that I'm not shaving it off so long as we're together. She didn't say it in a mean way just a statement. I understand where she is coming from as to her it is one more step closer to me wanting to transition. I've assured her that I have no intention of doing that (too late in the game for me), but she still has that fear. As I only dress in the house I'm fine with it. If I were to decide to go out dressed I could always wear a pretty mask as masks have become a common thing for people to wear. I think a blonged out mask would be cute.
XOXO
Suzanne
I keep clean-shaven which I never did until I started dressing. It works better for skin care and makeup preparation.
Anna xx
I’m always taken aback somewhat by people that take it upon themselves to tell other people what they should be doing in their lives. Especially their spouses. It’s one thing if you ask someone their advice, then you are wanting their opinion.
But there’s this whole group of people out there who think it’s their job to tell everyone what they need to be doing. Down to the most minute details. After all, they’re experts on every single subject. They’ve been there and done that. Aren’t we all so fortunate to be surrounded by these geniuses who know what’s best for us and aren’t shy about letting us know this valuable information?
I know what my reply would be in this situation: “Sweetheart, I’m not going to worry about whatever you’re shaving when you’re taking a shower. So you don’t need to worry about what I’m shaving either.
GP
“Sweetheart, I’m not going to worry about whatever you’re shaving when you’re taking a shower. So you don’t need to worry about what I’m shaving either.
"Just make sure you clean the shower drain." 🙂
@rebeccabaxter Becca, her or me?🤣😂🤣😂!
(I think we all know the answer to that one don’t we gentlemen?)
Want to thank all you ladies for your input and thank you Grace,for you pretty much convinced me on how I need to approach my wife.
This is a difficult one. I grew a beard during the worldwide lockdowns. Just got lazy, plus I'd run out of ways of annoying my wife 😂. I've shaved it off before each of my two makeovers and have kept it off since. In truth the missus never liked it so I'm lucky. For me I would never crossdress with a beard. I'd just feel a bit silly. I'm going to agree with Grace's tough sounding approach. It's my body and if I want to shave it off that's what I'll do xx.
Chrissie I agree with you both I know the direction I need to go, I thank both of you ladies.
XOXO
Have some positive news,we came to an understanding no beard. I'm so happy 😊. Thank you again Grace and Chrissie I appreciate your input. ❤️
@alexislynn Good news Alexandria, that sounds like positive progress. I am so happy for you hun xx.
