Need some encouragement and help

Hi Candace!
Just came out to my wife yesterday, so it is too soon to tell how it went. Last night went better than expected. I wrote a four page letter detailing my history with CDing, and tried to preemptively answer most of the big questions:
Are you gay?
Trans?
Why do you do it?
Why did you keep it hidden?
Am I inadequate as a wife?
It went "too well." We both cried, hugged, kissed, told each other that we loved one another, and then we spent the rest of the evening "like nothing happened." Unfortunately, she woke up in the middle of the night and was crying and couldn't get back to sleep. She didn't want to talk, but she did want me to hold her, so that was a good sign. Hope all goes well with you.
Great big hug!🤗

Jamie,

It's bitter sweet isn't it? Now the waiting game to see how and if it has sunk in. I did almost the exact same thing with a letter and she had almost the exact same reaction. Not much conversation beyond a few questions, a few tears and lots of hugging. Not much discussed after that. I'm currently in a Don't Ask Don't Tell mode with very few exceptions of clothes that she is generally OK seeing.

Best of luck Candace and keep us informed!

Oh my Dear Sweet Jamie....I will be thinking of you all through the day.  I know that was a huge moment, a long time in coming.  If you hadn’t told her yet, let her know, nothing’s changed, she just knows more about you. The love is still the same.

Very best to you and Mrs Peridot,

Clara

Hi Candace. Jamie's questions that she answered are helpful, do be prepared to answer all of these and more. As you have noticed from others here that SO reactions are all over the board. Even if you think you know how your spouse will react you really don't know until the moment. I am sure the stress of thinking ' how will she react to this side of me' is eating you up!!
. For me When I accidently let my X find out she promptly told our 3 grown kids, then she threatened to tell my 4 brothers and my mother. After a couple months of this I told my brothers myself, one by one, face to face. Unfortunately my mother passed about 2 months ago without this revelation. At least now today I am not stressed that they will find out.
. I guess what I am saying is that the stress of keeping this part of you hidden from the woman that you love is eating you up ( at least it sounds like it). Looking forward this looks like a HUGE step. Hopefully when you look back on telling her a couple years from now you will look on this as a smaller step and wonder why you didn't tell her earlier. Also would it be better if she found out by accident or you told her yourself?
.. Sandy

Hi Candace,
Hope all goes well and best wishes.
Mikala xxxx.

Candace my struggles since telling my wife 6 weeks ago are daily, she is not really accepting what I do. Some days are ok then like last night she vents that she may still leave. I try to underdress in the evening and my pink bra strap was showing at my shoulder,  she was not happy,  in fact she was disgusted. We've been married for 36 years not sure how much longer though. Hopefully you're aware of how yours will probably react, good luck and I hope to see a positive post from you soon.💕💋 Katie

It is hard to say how a wife will react. My ex was apprehensive of the fact that I told her early on that I liked to wear panties. I told her, in response to her questions, that I had no interest in men. I also told her that me wearing any other fem clothes was up to her. She did not want me to go out en fem nor did she want me to be a girlfriend to her. We got along well with my panty wearing and even nighties were fine with her and she even got matching ones for us. The panties were enough fir me and she let me know if and when anything else was ok. She made it clear she did not want me hiding other stuff and doing things behind her back. That is what worked fir us.

Hon just sit down one nite and tell her. Assure her how much you love her and dont want to hurt her. Assure her youre not leaving her. Tell the truth and be honest. Let her know how long youve felt this way and why. Thats its not a deviant sexual thing but a true longing you cant actually explain. Offer her the opportunity to talk and maybe even be on this site as an SO GG. Does she have any idea at all? Have you ever worn panties or anything around her? How does she feel about LGBTQ and CD people?

Riley 💋

Thank you Lisa! It means so much to know I have friends to lead the way on this journey!🤗💋

Thank you sweetheart! I will let her know that! She is still acting like business as usual today-I am sure she is still processing what questions to even ask.🤗💋

Thank you Jamie! I will be picking your brain in the weeks to come I am sure.🤗💋

Sorry to hear of your struggles Katie. I will pray that she comes around. Big hug!🤗🤗

I told my wife about 20 years ago in the first year of marriage. I was not the best at hiding all my clothes. I also made up terrible excuses. However, it was a huge opportunity when I wanted to tell her because I just had to start with being honest. Statements like 'you may have noticed' may work.
Every wife is different and will react differently. This was only my experience.

Hi my name is Jamie machell n I’m still in closet. I feel for what your going through N if I only can get enough courage to make the move. My dreams will start to come true. See I lost my wife after 34 years of hiding. We’re still married but will never live together again. She hates that I ruined her life. I pray that she doesn’t tell my only son. He’s in the army with three tours n he believes I’m a tough man. Problem is I’ve been a woman all my life inside. It will b devastating to him if he finds out. I read all of your story’s of your life’s travels n can understand all the pain that being true to yourself brings. I wish the best to you Jamie n all the other lady’s who have suffered. I hope that Through my journeys that I will have the strength to break free. Only time will tell. Be proud lady’s for all you have achieved in you travels. Love all kisses n hugs.