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Generally I'm not big on New Year's resolutions but I do want to make one this year. I'm not able to go out dressed at this point in my life but it is something I look forward to at some point. When I consider that possibility the thing that scares me the most is my voice. The thought of being embarrassed by my obviously male voice terrifies me and I have been wanting to work on my voice for about a year now but have put zero effort into it. So, my resolution is to spend at least one hour a week working on a less masculine voice. No a big commitment I know but I have limited alone time so I have to be realistic. Feel free to hold me accountable. I know changing one's voice especially in the later years is very difficult and with limited time to spend I made not make much if any progress but as they say the trip of a thousand milee starts with the first step.
Hugs,
Michelle
@michellemybell I have been using singing to help . I love to sing as a male and always wanted to have a good falsetto. Singing along with alot of my favorites while driving or while dressing has given me alot more opportunity to practice and not feel so weird at the same time. and has dual value as my general singing has improved as well as my female voice. Practice makes perfect or at least makes an improvement perfect is a tough one to navigate in all aspects of who we are Cheers. 😉 RC
@river I will have to try some carpool karaoke. My singing could definitely use a lot of improvement.
@michellemybell I have a very deep voice so this is something I’ve been wanting to focus on too. It hit me when I was dressed up in a vintage store en femme and was asked if I wanted help. I became srlf conscious about my deep voice so I just mumbled a reassuring no.
There are lots of voice training videos on YouTube you could listen to that might point you in the right direction. I plan to work on my voice as well to make it a little higher and softer.
I love the suggestion of singing. To obtain a higher voice means increasing the pitch and moving the sound from the back of the throat to the front of the mouth. It takes lots of practice to make it sound natural and unstrained.
To chart your progress I suggest making recordings once in a while and there are apps that analyze vocal frequency so you can see how much your pitch has changed over time Happy New Year and keep us posted with your progress!
Lea
Lea
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Hiya Michelle. Working on your presentation is an admirable quality. I know I work on mine. Each time I go out I want to make sure that I'm presenting myself exactly how I want.
However, the key part of that sentence is "how I want." When you do eventually go out, keep in mind that you have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of - at all, ever. Those fears come from within. You may hear the phrase that confidence is a fake it 'til you make it kind of game, and I believe that. Confidence starts with you simply believing you deserve to have it - "Am I worthy...of feeling worthy." I say you are.
However, it isn't about what I say or what I think, girl. It's about what you say and about what you think. It takes practice. There will be failures. No one without self confidence magically rolls out of bed confident. It's built, layer upon layer, and that first layer is really nothing more that you deciding that the self-shaming has had its day.
You are worthy. Tell yourself this and you'll find yourself worrying less about being an embarrassment to yourself. 🤗
Michelle, I don’t think you need to work on your voice at all. I think you look beautiful just the way you are and that you present as the perfect woman. I think Melodee is right, you/we just need to own it. I know I’m guilty of worrying about the same things that you describe in your post, amd quite frankly I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the fear of discovery and shame that I’ve had all my life about crossdressing, but so many years of those thoughts are very difficult to overcome. So, maybe sometime we can devise a plan to try to overcome those fears together.
@jennconn Very kind of you to say Jennifer and I look forward to working on that plan.
I don't think I can change my voice. Too many years of authoritatively telling work dogs what to do.
I always was scared to talk as I haven't a very feminine voice either. Once I was out more, confident and got my look right I realised that I looked like any other woman around me so that is what people see. Once having to talk to people was needed I just softened my voice and it seemed to work and my confidence grew. The person you are dealing with sees a woman so if the voice is a bit out of tune with what they see it will be forgiven as an anomaly. Usually encounters are brief such as a transaction in the shop so not much needs to be said and build from there. There are tutorials on the internet so plenty to work from.
