Nightmare

Stay calm. She’s reacting to her way of life being threatened. She’s likely very scared. Doesn’t know you you love her…why do you do this…will people find out etc….  Give her some space.  If you want write her a note and first reinforce the things that are important to you about her assuming they are. Woman typically have two questions. Right away. Are you gay and do you want to become a woman.  If you can say no to both that may help…if not it will take longer and you may need a counselor.  You’ve got to reconnect to your wife. Just my 2 cents

carole

So story to hear of this Kerri. I hope you have an opportunity to work thorough this, if you want to. Maybe therapy would be an option.
Carla

Kerrie

btw I just came out to my wife last oct after 23 years being married so if you need help or an ear …pm me please.   I know it’s a very stressful time.

I suspect she will calm down... maybe in a year or two. (I jest about tge years.)

Your wife's reactions are to what she heard you say.

I'm transgender and want to transition. And btw I been meeting with other bokes.

Hopefully. A) thats not what you said. And B) thats not what you have been doing.

When the waters calm. And they will. You can apologize to her for 'dumping' it on her. And ask her what she heard you say vs what you did say.

Anyways. Hopefully it doesn't lead to divorce and you can work it out.

 Kerri, I am so sorry to hear of your trouble. You will have to stay calm even when she lashes out at you, getting mad will only make things worse. You need to explain that you love her and are still the person she fell in love with. I would explain to her that side of you is also what makes you the kind of person she fell in love with and clothes don't change who you are, they might make you feel better but they don't change you or your love for her. I would also follow the advice of finding an attorney just in case she doesn't come around. She is hurt after all, good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

So sorry about your situation ... I'll pray for you. Not knowing any better. I want to say "To thine own self be true."

Big Hug and Kiss,
Fredrika

Well, you can’t undo what you have told your wife, so the only option is to continue the conversation. Wiser people than myself have suggested talking about her feelings and her concerns, rather that talking about your wants. If you can’t have keep such conversations on a constructive path, then encourage her to join you in therapy.

The alternative is to pretend it never happened…but that almost never works.

It's so sad when I hear stories like this. Crossdressing is far form being caught cheating. It's hardly that horrible.  I can totally understand a wife's shock when she finds out but hopefully if given the chance to explain yourself, she will come around.

First of all reinforce the fact that you are not gay and your interests in crossdressing has nothing to do with her femininity. Many women think we crossdress because they are lacking in femininity and that is the farthest thing from truth.

There are a lot of good books on the subject dedicated to explaining it to the wives. Find at least one of these books and ask her to read it.

My wife didn't take it very well at first either but after sharing a lot of information with her about the subject and also letting her know I was crossdressing before I met her, she did come around and we have been happily married for many years.

My crossdressing is no secret and I get to have my escapes whenever I have the need to do so. Wearing panties and sleeping in a nightgown is no problem for her. She doesn't have any interest in being a part of my feminine time when I bring Lacy out to play, so to speak, but I'm fine with that.

Good luck! have patience and if you have had a strong relationship up till now, everything will work out. I would say if everything goes down the tubes, then the relationship was never meant to last anyways. Crossdressing should not be blamed for the end of a relationship. Many more men enjoy it than most people are aware of and it's far from something you should be condemned for.

Thank you.  I am backing up for now.   Won’t approach for a while and hopefully be in a position where she is willing to listen to me have to ensure everything is in deep hiding for now

So sorry this happened to you but its every closeted CD's nightmare for sure.

Sounds like shes reacting like most all wives do when they first learn of our desires. The other girls here have given you some great advice so try to remain calm, answer all her questions and encourage her to go to therapy with you because you love her and want to save the marriage. If she refuses then get a lawyer, fight for whats yours and hold on.

So sorry but you may have to purge all your stuff, lie, and go deep in the closet. I know this isn't the honest way but if it will save your relationship and you think shes worth it then go for it. Being a CD isn't easy for any of us.

Kerri

I’m so very sorry to hear she reacted so badly!

I would just echo some of the wisdom that other girls have stated. Give her some space, give her some reassurance, suggest counseling for you both, and if she is still going off the rails retaining that lawyer might be a good piece of mind. I hope things smooth over more quickly than you believe they can!

I will keep you in my prayers,

Love and hugs,

Lara

Hi Kerri, I'm so sorry for your situation! I won't belabor the replies - just PM if you want to chat anytime! I know some of what you are going through. Both of you are hurting, for sure!!

Loads of Hugs,

Brie

So sorry Kerri,

Hugs & hugs & hugs,

Autumn

Oh no. I’m so sorry but maybe her knee jerk reaction is just part of her acceptance? Here’s to some constructive conversations.