Nine lives, borrowed time, burning questions

getting found out could end anytime. forgetting to put away or take something off. going for a ride dressed and getting in an accident or just walking around your house in heels and trip. fall and break a leg. its probably going to happen sometime when you least expect it. its the chance most of us take. but we have a drive that is greater than our fears. so enjoy it while it last.

I can certainly agree on all of it.  I could be walking thru my house, trip and split my head, and wake up in the ER.

I cant edit my original post, but what I was getting at is how much longer can you hide from your SO, fiance, or wife?

When do decide to be honest with them, more importantly, when do decide to be honest with yourself and finally have..."The talk"

And some people are OK with it staying a secret.  But the urge never goes away no matter how much you try and bottle it up.  No matter how times you purge, your feminine side only gets louder...and louder.

When do you decide to make yourself and your feminine side as top priority.  Its not a selfish thing.

When do you sit down and say...Hun...we need to talk.

Okay, this doesn't apply to me, but hey, I'm a nosey cow so I thought I would stick my nose in............ if nobody minds.

I think the longer you go on hiding, grabbing stolen moments and living day to day, obviously you have more and more chance of being discovered.

Whether you "borrow" your wives clothes ( and believe me, I would notice straight away if my panties were " stretched" ), or you have an ever growing secret wardrobe....it will probably only eventually end one way.

As Rachel says, imagine having an "accident"!!!!

Waking up in hospital in just a gown, lacy panties with red toenails.....and your wife and/ or family gathered round your bed..explain that!!!!

I will not and can not pretend that coming out is going to be easy and there's a million things to consider....but I honestly think that the "Hun, we need to talk...." chat is better sooner than later

BUT..... that's just my opinion....

Love, grace 💋💋

Mmmmmm, I have done this for a long time, as a child, teen at home with my family, at uni with my g/f, then in my g/fs apartment, our home, our apartment.... out of my nine lives 🐈‍⬛ I reckon I used at least half. But the fear of being caught wasn’t the primary reason for telling my (now) wife. Something shifted in how I viewed my dressing. That said, there’s a huge relief in not having to worry about her discovering my secret either by finding my stash, or catching me.
I know that this isn’t something we choose, anymore than one might choose to be gay; similarly I don’t think it’s possible to just stop. Only you can decide how you square this circle.

hugs

Seren xx

I often wonder the same thing. If I passed away in my sleep while enfem, would my wife have to change my clothing on my dead body. That would be something to put her through. As for my family were close, but not close enough for coming out to them. They'd probably would say WTF. No intentions there, as for getting found out I haven't been out yet. If I do, I'm probably ready for it.

Polly

i always think about this and i know it is a possibility.  i would not want anyone else to find out in my fake life but if it happened i think i would just have to be brave and deal with it.  Something that i do and hope for more acceptance than i expect.  i am sure it would cost me more than i want to lose but i might be surprised - i try not to associate with many that are very intolerant but i am sure that there would be more than a few.  It is a little painful to think about but i guess i am used to thinking what would happen and hoping that i never have to deal with it.

suzette

So I rode out hurricane zeta in a tent in the woods (yeah I know pretty stupid) to honor a fallen friend because he would have. I'm sitting in the tent wearing dress, panties,thigh highs etc when this big tree snaps and falls inches I mean less than 3 inches from me limbs came through the door of my tent. There is only 1 person who knows exactly where I am a friend who would totally freak out to see what I was wearing. I'm thinking that would just be lovely getting my squished body found in nylons and an evening gown. My next thought was this damn guy is dead and still talking me in to doing stupid things. Pretty sure I used up 3 or 4 lives that night.

Interesting Robyn, many many of the CDs in life as you say hide, I tend to call it shelter in the shadows. Obviously there are many valid reasons why. Fear of the repercussions socially and family loss which is extremely sad. Yes I agree the more you dress the more the odds are you are going to be found out eventually. What would be interesting would be to find out how many SOs realised their suspicions but keep quiet, before being told, or indeed know but can't find the courage to ask their partner. 

You can be found out without any warning what-so-ever, for you and the person making the discovery.

I had moved back to live in my mom's house after she passed away.  My sister kept things in the 'storage' room that once was my bedroom when I was in growing up.  I had lived there for about 2 months and got a rare day off from work mid-week.  Since I didn't have to get up to leave, my car was tucked away in the garage.  My sis still had a key to the house and not seeing my car, just unlocked the door and came on in.

I was in the back bedroom (her old room) running the vacuum, which got her curious about who was in the house.  I was fully enfemme, as I usually was when at home, and she came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder.  With the big Kirby vacuum screaming, I never heard her come in, and her tapping my shoulder to see who this strange woman was that was cleaning her mom's house, absolutely scared the c**p out of me.  I almost screamed, she looked totally terrified when I turned around, then the most confused expression I have ever seen covered her face when she realized who 'that woman' was.

That turned out to be a very long day of confessions from both of us.  A lot of tears were shed, both sad and happy ones.  It did turn out for the best though, even if took her a bit still to be comfortable around her 'new sister'.  It lifted a huge burden from me, and opened her eyes to many of the things I had said and done over the years that now finally made sense to her.

It did take some serious convincing to make her see that dressing me so long ago was NOT the cause of my dressing, but that it had helped me see who I was supposed to be.  There have been a few rough places from it all, but we have survived it as sisters should.  I am Aunt Paula to her girls, and even her husband is tolerant of me more than now than when he thought I was some wild gay person.

I only had to really hide from my mom and sister growing up, which wasn't too difficult as mom worked all the time it seemed, and sis was always off with her friends and then her boyfriends.  Once I graduated high school, I was out on my own, for better or worse, living in another town, so it wasn't that hard to keep it all from family, and my friends were ones I had made in this lifestyle anyway, so that didn't matter.  Mom never did know more than that I was gay, but we really never talked about it, and that is about all that sis knew, until that fateful day she encountered the 'cleaning lady'.

PaulaF

Sorry Shana,

but my warped sense of humour and you mentioned "squished in a tent", I immediately saw your epitaph.....

" She died with her boobs on"

I do apologise sister, grace xx

1. Yeah that's right on the money doll! Thanks Grace

My current wife knows all about my dressing and where I keep everything.  I don't think she looks in my female drawers but it does not matter of she does.  She has seen me fully dressed many times and does my makeup when I ask and we haev gone shopping together.   My ex-wife on the other hand during the divorce, spewed about my dressing to our kids and anyone she could bend their ear on.

My step-daughters asked their mom if I dress, in which she totally denied it. If they ever decide to snoop through my drawers, they will certainly get conformation I dress.  I am not going to hid the things I have.  If they do snoop...well careful what you find when you are doing something you should not be doing.

I do not need our friends or others to know, as it does not concern them nor do I plan to go out dressed in public.

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Amanda

That would be very interesting!

Before I came out to my wife, I think I was running on fumes with lives.

There was a long strong of time where I was in and out of the hospital, and one of my thoughts as I was laying in the hospital bed was "what happens if my wife found out about Wendy's clothing stash ?"  Being vulnerable at the time, there would have been nothing I could do.

I was always fearful that one day she would not show up in the hospital to visit me, or I would go home and she would have packed up all her stuff because she found Wendy's clothes.

Another instance is when she took evening courses, yes that was a golden opportunity to dress up, but I was always paranoid that her class would end early and she would come home early (one time it did happen, and I changed so fast that I barely made it).

While not related to CDing, I am also into zentais.  One evening she was in an evening course so I thought "perfect time to put on my zentai suit and chill out".  Well, her class let out early and she came home early.  I was caught red handed.  We had a discussion about it and the only thing she didn't like was me keeping that secret from her, and coming home to me wearing that suit.  Since then, it got thinking would have happened if she caught me as Wendy ?