Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
Hello Ladies,
Sometimes I feel like a fraud. I see so many on here who really can fill those heels and pass 50,60,70---100% as a female. I'm in the 5% bracket. That's okay but it's held me back. My profile pic is my face but I used an app to put makeup on. I love makeup but with my masculine features what I see in the mirror is not pleasing to the eye. As much as I love dressing I rarely look in the mirror because I only see a man dressed as a woman. And that's okay too. I've wanted to meet up with other CDs ,but, I have not for fear that my true appearance is to masculine. I'm a 48 year old overweight hairy mess of a guy. lol And that's okay. I'm not complaining as much as I'm coming out. I'm a guy who likes to feel like a woman. I might be putting lipstick on a pig but wow it feels fantastic. For all the Ladies who can look the part I applaud you. But for those who can't your not alone. I've decided to work on decreasing my masculinity. My femme side is a much better person. The weight the hair will eventually come off but the mental needs work. Its time I shed the true fraud here my male persona. I don't like watching or talking about sports I'd rather talk about my feelings and where to buy new heels. If anyone can relate and would like to meet for coffee in the OC in drab as I only get to underdress out in public and fully dress at home sometimes. That would be great. My wife is behind me finding new friends who are CDs who can relate and understand.
Thanks I really needed to get that off my chest. It's liberating to free yourself of fears.
Thank you CD heaven for such an incredible platform to take leaps from.
You are not alone. I share many of the same thoughts. The more I dress, including makeup, the more comfortable I feel as Emily, and the more sure I become that she is the larger portion of who I am. Don’t worry about passing, concern yourself with being pleased with who you are and who you see in the mirror. What you see is more important than what others see or think.
Hi Sabrina,
Many of us do not fit the female mold as such. We create our own version of a female and that does begin within oneself. IMHO depending on how long you have been CDing and how often you, will see a guy in a dress until you have been dressing for quite a while. We all have seen the guy in a dress but I imagine you also see the girl behind the mask too. So don’t be too worried about it.
So you’re a bigger girl and that’s okay too because there are fashions and heels out there for you. Losing weight is a good idea for health as well as your waistline 😉. Makeup is a learned skill and it comes from practice and practice, lots of practice. A very good wig will also help the look along with makeup. One big thing about fashion to remember is to dress age appropriate. You can hedge a bit on the hemlines and come above the knee a few inches at our ages. If in doubt visit a mall and just people watch. Judge age ranges and how they dress, walk, talk, and move plus how they dress and the shoes they wear. This will be a very eye opening experience.
Just for the record, I’m 59, 5’9” 225#, i wear a 46A or AA bra, 22/24 bralette, 16-18w shorts, skirts and a 22/24 dress because of top fit. So I am a bigger girl too. My height is above average for a woman and by shoe size is a 10 in women’s. So just about appropriate for a woman 5’9”. Losing weight is my goal to get down to 185# or so and maintain that weight which should reduce my band size. I am transgender which I figured out a year ago this past May and I am not going to transition because I don’t want to lose my wife 😁.
Well if you got through this novel you can do anything 🤩! Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle💋👠👗
Hi again Sabrina,
Listen to Emily as she stated what I was trying to say but she was more succinct. I also took a peek at your public photos and I have to tell you that I don’t see an overweight guy! We are all critical of our bodies so no worries on that. If you can afford it look into being made over by one of the CD make over photo studios. That will show you your feminine face and they also provide clothes, wigs, most have everything to change you from a guy to a woman! I absolutely love that pink top! It is very pretty and those pink heels......I love them! So just wanted to put a bit more out there for you😁.
Danielle💋👠👗
Don't live in the same continent as you Sabrina so the coffee is not an option but just to say your not alone. Many have a similar outlook, myself included. Good luck as your journey continues . x.
Hi Sabrina,
Please don't beat yourself up too bad,I'm 54 and probably look less feminine than you.
The good thing is this feminine side has me taking more care of my skin and I am watching my diet.
I hope to look more feminine with make up and eventually go out.
You are not alone.
Just don't go overboard with pushing your wife limits it can be bad for your marriage.
I wish I was near you I would love to have a cup and chat.
This site is wonderful, but a face to face friend to talk to would be great.
Hank in there Sabrina your photos look cute
Patty
Hi Sabrina! Sweetie.....I read your letter and it brought a tear to my eye. Honey......we must work with what we have. It is possible to make a silk purse from a sows ear! Plastic surgery can do wonders these days....if you can afford it. Do little things now and then......in a few months you can really notice changes. Face first. Is you site picture really you? You look a lot my Aunt Joy if so. When she dolled up for Insurance Company meetings or affairs.......she looked fantastic!!!! Well thought of in the Industry and always in industry journals. We are our own worst critics........things seem worse than they really are.
Do talk with a surgeon and who knows where that could go! All the best........
Veroinica
Dame Veronica
You're not a fraud.
If you're feeling it, then that's 100%, genuine you!
It's when we go against our own inner grain that's fraudulent.
Love Laura
Thank you so much ladies ❤️❤️❤️ you have lifted me up. My spirit is flying. I'm sitting here reading your comments dressed in full pink. I start thearapy this week with a trans specialist who I hope will help me fill in the blanks.
I am me and proud of it!!!
All of you girls are 💯 thank you
I have accepted that I will never look the part unless I was to get surgery (which I don't want). I just dress and nothing more. I know I don't look good doing so, which is why I remain discreet. I feel good doing it, so that's all that matters.
Thanks for that your awesome.
What more can I say that others have not?
If you’re a fraud, then I am, too. I’m a scrawny old guy in a dress (or more likely, skirt and top), and although I fear I will never be anything more, I’ll continue to xdress until advanced age and infirmity make it impossible to continue.
And I can’t “fill those heels,” either (my toes hurt even in flats!), and I don’t even have a real profile pic, only a cartoon caricature of a girl I wish I could’ve looked like 50 years ago. The real me would scare away even the most tolerant ladies of CDH.
Since joining CDH, I, too, have had the harebrained notion that it might be nice to actually meet up with other CDs my age. But I look in the mirror at my best femme efforts, and I think they might be embarrassed to allow me in their midst.
But, hey, it’d be great to meet for coffee, even in drab, to discuss this obsession of ours…. except that we’re so far away. Maybe we could meet halfway. Say, El Paso?
Or, we could just stay comfortably enjoying each other’s company in the warm, welcoming sorority of CDH.
So, as Patty Williams says, “Hang in there!” With the rest of us.
Sabrina, you will see as you fill in the blanks you will be like the chrysalis and become a butterfly 🦋. You will see that the fraud was indeed the male persona you had to use as a shield to protect who you truly are within then you can be yourself and a happier person and human being. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle💋👠👗