Not upto it !!

Sonia I feel for you I have been there many times. So many I can’t count. See when I was young it was like I took more risk wishing I would b caught. An at the same time I was scared to death. My heart would b pounding I would b trembling. Many times I would go out side n walk in the porch knowing that living in the country it would b somewhat safe. When I left the safety of my family I put my feelings on hold. It didn’t stop me Cause deep inside I was fighting what I now know is a truth. I’m a woman. No matter what I can’t stop that feeling. So in my one little way I have to sneak as much as possible releasing this woman. Little steps. The feelings ar so strong that I have to do something. Today I went to town by myself. I pulled away from the house, pulled in a parking lot n put lipstick on Didn’t care if someone saw. Then drove to the first store. Put on mask n went inside like I was a queen. I went to serveral stores all warring lipsticks. I bought nail polish makeup wipes finger polish remover n a new lipstick. That gave me a feeling like I needed if onlyto b feminine n buying makeup makes me feel feminine It’s the little things that have given me new thoughts of taking the next step. Cut your grass then do something feminine. Do little things n it gets easier every time you do. And having friends like the lady’s I’ve meet on this site has given me hope that I might one day break out. B free no more asking myself what is wrong with me. Little steps n cdh friends I can maybe soon break out. Love all your feelings you put out on this site n please don’t stop. Sorry I got carried away. Hugs kisses n little steps 💋💋💋

I know the feeling Sonia, I know the feeling.

Diane

Sonia, I'm so sorry you are feeling blue, I think we all have moments, if not the same, very similar.
I am out to my wife, and quite happy , as I a dressed all the time at home, but in the house. The desire to just go out and be "me", is almost overwhelming at times, I have all these beautiful things I wear, but no one gets to see them. Why??
You are not alone, honey, there are more of us, that ask ourselves that question, than there are those who are "out", I believe
Hugs, Regi👩💕

Sonia, Everyday I see another post on here that reflects my very moods, feelings, confusion, anger, frustration, you name it. And everyday I see all the support that pours out of all the folks on here that are or have in the past had these same issues. We’re all in this together and for the first time in my life I don’t feel alone, and neither are you.
These feeling ebb and flow in us and I’ve had days that I just couldn’t deal with the whole thing. In the past this lead to purging my whole wardrobe, burning it actually. No more. I’m sure that my/our choice to live with who I/we are is right, it’s just not easy sometimes.💕💋 Katie