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So whos got an outfit sorted for if their SO ever suggests they dress for them to see?
I have some not so femme stuff that I picked out (tshirt bra and cotton briefs, with plain skirt and a light tshirt style top and strappy sandels).. I figured that the last time she saw me dressed was a very long time ago and it freaked her out. I have to admit the people that dressed me (first time so I paid to get done up - mistake) made me look more like a cheap call girl than a lady. Sure it was fun but the SO wasnt happy after that. She said shortly after that it made her feel uncomfortable seeing me dressed like that and she didnt want to see me again. She wouldnt stop me but didnt want to know.
I guess to our SO's we are men and masculine and to see us in feminine clothing ruins the image of protector etc. Maybe it messes with their minds a little too. They love us as men so they love us as men in dresses and I wonder if they think that makes them lesbians while we are enfemme? And that is their struggle? Or do they just not like a dude in a dress period!
Not sure really (I m guessing) because my SO doesnt talk about it. Sometimes she will talk but then shuts down really quick. Maybe I am too eager and if she shows interest I jump on it too quick and scare her off the subject. I have been open about this sisnce she moved back in and keep all my clothes in view (hanging in the wardrobe) and have said she is free to snoop or try anything on without me being there if she wishes to. She has said she wont but I think she has looked. Maybe she tried stuff on and is upset that Im nearly her size now.
The closest I've come to understanding my wife's attitude is that it's about her identity as well.
I have a few friends who are going beyond crossdressing to gender reassignment. For them, a big driver for this is that they don't identify as men and do identify as women. Our identity is incredibly important to us.
My wife's identity includes many aspects - her sex, gender, marriage, faith and parenthood are all significant aspects - she identifies as a married heterosexual Christian mother. Changing my identity, or even appearing to, wouldn't just affect my identity but hers as well.
Thanks Joanne. Probably closer to the truth than my wild ideas.