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Out and about all dolled up

143 Posts
37 Users
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Posts: 17
Guest
(@Anonymous 98283)
Active Member
Joined: 4 weeks ago

I assume that I'm perceived by the general public as trans, and then they think about me whatever they think about trans people in general. I like the general public best when they keep their thoughts to themselves, but they can think whatever they want as long as they let me live my life. Some people refer to me as a man, others as a woman, and I'll tell you in a way it's fun to note how people behave differently as you present more male or more female. I've had a few bizarre experiences, but not really ever a bad time (at least, not as bad as it could've been).

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5 Replies
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@buildoe If my group of friends are any indicator, there are lots of people who don’t perceive us as trans, crossdressers, transvestites, none of the above. They don’t care. They don’t have to. We’re not a part of their world.  Some of the comments I hear from them are laughable, they’re so far off base. But they’re not gonna change now and I wouldn’t expect them to. They’re good guys, they just don’t understand any of it nor do they want to.

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 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 2172

@gracepal The problem is ignorance and misconception, as you point out. Once people get to know more LGBTQ people their attitudes usually change for the better.

I was fortunate to have met many gay and lesbian people, and a few trans people back in the mid 70s, before any real enlightenment in the general public. I learned then they were totally normal people who just happened to have slightly different lifestyles than me. Once people realize that, acceptence is easy.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@jjandme I don’t call anyone ignorant. It’s indifference and certainly a lot of misconceptions. But just as we don’t have to care what people think about us, well, neither do they care what we think about them. They’re not interested in any of this and they don’t have to be either.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 98283)
Joined: 4 weeks ago

Active Member
Posts: 17

@gracepal I consider this "indifference" a bit of a problem, actually. Because for example, while I may not care what they think of me, neither am I insensitive or lacking in empathy. And I'm not sure that always works both ways, which is unfortunate.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@buildoe It may be unfortunate, but not my problem. I’m not “waiting on the world to change”. The older I get - the more people I have encountered who have zero empathy for others. It’s been rather eye-opening TBH. But not surprising if you follow the news. Sooner or later you’ll probably encounter at least one of them somewhere in your travels.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I go out trying to look as femme as possivle, but know full well up close that I do not pass and anybody with a few functioning neurons can figure it out. From a distance, or passing on the street I can likely get away with it. 

Most important, I do not really care. If somebody percieves me as female, great! If not, no big deal. I enjoy dressing and going out, and I am not going to.let others change that.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@jjandme That’s the right attitude JJ.

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Posts: 3425
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I think my initial intention was to get out of the door dressed regardless but not as a 'man in a dress'. I was at the point where I felt that I looked good enough to give the impression of being a woman.  By the general reactions it worked but did get a few stares and a couple of negative reactions so knew I needed a little more work. I was very conscious of anyone staring and any glance was treated as a negative.

Being  fortunate to have good friends who helped and encouraged me and also went out with me I made those adjustments to my looks and demeanour. I have friends now that have never known the 'old' me and never asked about my past life as we go out as if it were perfectly normal. That can be extended to the way I have been treated to work colleagues, neighbours, my church and anywhere having long interactions is normal.

Now I have no problems at all. Even interactions are positive and am addressed as a woman, whether they realise or not and on balance mostly not. 

I never kid myself that some will realise and I am 'read' but being treated well and respectfully is all that has been experienced. If they do know they clearly don't care and if I get misgendered and it is not with malice or noticed I just carry on.

 

 

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@ab123 You have a great attitude Angela. I think people do get a sense when some of us are seriously “devoted to the cause”. We all want to be treated with kindness and respect. If girls go out into the world and get that, heck, that’s all you can ask for.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Most people truly do not care what we wear. Sure there is a tiny amount of loud mouths in congress trying to make an issue of it, but they are just trying to be loud and obnoxious, and if it was not this topic it would just be something else.  The loud mouths have pretty much lost on the gay/lesbian issue, though a few still keep trying. So now the find another bogeyman to vlame.

I was just at a national historic site (coincidentally about supression of human rights), and was reading an information board while a women walked up and was reading the other boards. We didn't interact, but she was close enoigh to obviously I was male. A few momemts later when I was back at my adventure van I see her walk up to her adventure 4X4 rig when she makes a detour over to me and asks about my van. We had a very pleasent conversations about travel and such things. It was very pleasent and not the least issue with my 38C boobs prominant in a snug top, a althetic skirt with black tights, my long hair and a bit of makeup. We just had a normal conversation...nothing more, nothing less.

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Posts: 284
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Whenever I go out, if I am not meeting another lady is always to do whatever any other person will do, run some errands, do some shopping, get a bite to eat. I will definitely try to blend in as much as possible by dressing and acting appropriately.

I am certain that I have been clocked a few times, but it has just been a quick second look, I have had the fortune to find very respectful people, whether they see me as a transgender or a crossdresser they have always addressed me as a lady.

My suggestion has always been to dress and act accordingly whenever you are dress, if you dress like appropriately, people will treat you with respect, but there will always be an exception, so walk away don’t react to vulgar comments or behavior.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@carlafirst11 That sounds like a good policy to me Carla and echoes the majority of responses in this topic😊

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