Out at work? Advice needed.

I agree with Elaine, you need to talk to HR and your supervisor before you start coming out at work.  I would additionally look at your company policies towards this.  It might offer some guidelines and maybe some insight on how inclusive your work is going to be.

I worked for a small consulting company where one of the employees came out as a trans man.  He spent quite a bit of time with the owners and the human resources person.  He had the companies full support and even crafted a letter for all the employees explaining what was happening.  Then the owners met with each employee individually and talked to them about it. Allowing all employees the ability to air concerns.  Then the company sent a letter to all our clients explaining what was going on.  Generally speaking, he had a lot of support.  I had a couple of clients that were uncomfortable with it and talked to me and asked how I felt about it.  I will add, I lived in a community at the time that was more accepting than most areas of this country and it was at a time that you rarely heard about transgender people.

I am not saying that will happen where you work, but if you really want to come out at work, having the company behind you will really help, especially with the employees that might be uncomfortable.

I wish you the best.

I read and re-read company policies before I did anything, but for me I had to do it, as I couldn't cope as male anymore.

I first came out to a close friend at work, who said tell my boss, he won't have a problem, so I told my boss, then the rest of the team one by one.

I then updated the HR system setting my gender as non-binary.

It went well, everyone accepted that I wasn't going to do this for a laugh and that I really needed to do this.

Bianca, I gave your idea more thought and here is what I would like to suggest. Instead of having Bianca crash everyone's holiday party, why not have your own coming out party?

1. Talk to a few of your closest colleagues at work and together select a day and plan a Bianca Coming Out Party. Even though you could do this alone, rallying a small team will help to create acceptance and interest among the wider staff at your job.

2. Have the party at a bar, restaurant, bowling alley, wherever, but locate it as close to the job as possible.

3. Have the party for three hours during the shift change at your job so that some people can attend for an hour after their shift and others can come for an hour before their shift.

4. Print invitations and give or send them to everyone at your job so that no one feels left out. Mention that there will be a cash bar so no one mistakenly attends thinking you are paying for their food or drinks.

You will forever be Bianca to them after your Coming Out party.

I hope this helps. Best wishes, whatever coming-out route you choose.

CeCe

Bianca

i have read through your story and the responses and I cannot offer any more advice than what has been given already.  Definitely talk to HR and Management first.  Anything more will be a repeat of many responses.  I wish only the best for you and your co-workers and I hope everything works out!

Hugs…. Dana

I agree.

Whilst it would certainly be a Christmas party to remember, if it were me i would choose a couple of my closest friends within the group and discuss it with them first to see their reaction and take their advise on how they think the larger group would react. Small steps and all that. But that's just me.

Either way, good luck.

Amy. x