Passing: is it worth it and proper?

Hi Edie , i guess for me there's 2 levels of my crossdressing / gender expression . My wife is aware of it all.

Daily I wear toe nail polish , feminine bracelets & anklets , panties , daily I don't hide that I'm male ( tradesman work clothes ) but I express my feminity . My summer casual clothes are casual female shorts , home & public , girls hoodies/ tracksuit in winter. My gym wear is female leggings , shorts & trainers . I openly express my female side daily through my body language , mannerisms , posture etc also.

Secondly I have 4 full professional CD makeovers a year , then I aim to " pass" & apart from my voice I believe I could . I guess it's the best of both worlds & fulfills my feminine needs every day & every 3 months..

💐💐 Tiff

I don't often try very hard for the most part, but for those that strive to pass thats a personal choice that you most certainly have a right to do.

There are of course exceptions to all of this, those who rewrite their own entire books to purposely decieve others for monetary or status gains.

CD's are most certainly not the only ones out there 'playing a part'. Wearing your borrowed or only business suit to a job interview, the person wearing athletic wear and joggers who can't touch their toes, the well packaged young lady (gg) displaying a pair of DD's but owning only B's, the person covered head to toe in camo that can't even swat a fly, the 3rd time bride wearing purity white, etc. etc.

The reasons for doing this vary widely, are personal and it really doesn't matter, it may help them feel different (better) if only for a short period of time. We and they aren't responsible for the thoughts and perceptions of others. If the other person is angered because they feel like a fool for judging a book merely by its cover, they did that, and need to control their outward impulses and direct them back at themselves.

I understand where you are coming from as I too have thought about this. But I often find myself coming back to this which is just me personally. Going out and passing isn't deceit it is just part of who I am. If some bloke takes a liking to me then dislikes the fact I'm not biologically female then that's on him not me. Making a scene is not necessary as I didn't put on these clothes and go out to attract him I went out wearing what I did because I like my clothes. This rings alarm bells a little in a similar vein to how women are often told that wearing certain types of clothing means they deserved to get bad attention and should just expect it.

Charlotte.

It's no lie. Harietta is me and I am her. In public those are my legs, my hair, my eyes and my lips. How I choose to show, dress, reveal and enhance those physical aspects may be outside of some current archaic social construct, but it is my business alone. Your imagined situation is easily avoided and easily handled.

Have a historical look at baroque male fashion and get back to me.

I go out for me.  When out and dressed, I think about having a wonderful time.  I once saw a cross dresser at a bar in SF who was trying so hard to pass that I felt she forgot to enjoy the experience.  To me it’s about the experience and not so much about the passing thing.  This seems to work for me as I have never had any problems talking to others.  Z

Response to Chloe's comment - wow!  Good point!  I won't ever look as good as Jenny Finch, but as I said, it's about the trying for me.  So my height isn't the ultimate limiting factor, and I've got a lot to work on!  What fun!  Thanks Chloe!

Mikey

Hi there,

Well...given that I am a SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER CD/TV who is into fetish dressing (thighboots, tight laced corsets, huge boobs, hobbleskirts, long gloves, heavy makeup, big hair wigs and furs) all combined with tight though non-painful "LOVEBONDAGE" scenarios...there is no way I would "pass" as such.  The experience of dressing is what I seek and am seeking those near me who understand and need this in their lives.   I have modified a bondage chair for use and so I dress and self-bind after I walk the pooch for the last time late at night.  I have gone out of my sidewalk "on parade" so to speak and teetered up and down, teetering as quickly as possible back inside if a car approached my street.   I am of course seeking those women (of any gender - grins) who understand the feelings which one receives when we engage in this behavior...and thus anyone interested and reasonably nearby (a few hours by car) are welcome to contact me.  I am located in northern Virginia, just a short bit south of Washington, DC. and waiting for friends.

For me, I always prefer "passing". I've kind of pulled it off several times with comments I have gotten, professions of love and have even been followed and aggressively pursued. That was not so great, but it also taught me that some girl's go through this all the time. Truth be told though, I was never close enough to those who wanted to get to know me very well.

I sometimes wondered what would happen if we were close and they found out I was not what I initially appeared to be. I think it's best I don't know.

Hi Edie It is a good topic and one that should be discussed.. When i first started going out in public in my late teens i would go to places that every one knew who or what we were. I took a cis girl friend to a club once and alot of men thought she was one of us. She did not know how to feel about it. It all depends on how you dress if you want to dress sexy and cute you will attract a man's eye .All woman know that. They learned that in their early teen life.  We know it also. So just dress appropriately for the occasions. Society knows or at least as heard of people like us. We are trying help people understand and accept us. That is a common complaint amongst cis woman. Our cis sisters want we want to be able to dress and feel cute and pretty with may be a touch of sexy . We all know what attracts the male eye so the same applies to us as it applies to cis woman . .Just be safe and smart when expressing your self. You never know whose eye you may of caught. Stay safe and healthy ladies and enjoy your feminity it is what makes us special luv Stephanie

Molly,Thank you.I,too,reject any statement that passing implies deception.It is not my intention to deceive anybody.Yes I try to pass and hopefully I do.I try to be the best lady I can,but my voice can give me away and if it does,so what.Ladies voices ,some ,not all,deepen with maturity.I do not attract attention and am always aware of what is happening around me.I apologize if I have offended any one but ladies please enjoy your femininity and be self aware.

Darling, you are not at fault if someone else has a problem!

I think passing is the ultimate goal for many, but it's really not as important as making an effort, and maintaining a positive attitude.

The sheer joy I feel at being Laura, and choosing good places to be Laura in gives me confidence and positivity that I know people pick up on, from the many positive interactions I've had.

People seem to be fascinated by someone who is "brave" enough to just be themselves, and often start conversations on really positive notes like "I love your outfit".

Passing would be great, but really, don't get hung up on it. Just create an image that you're happy with, which wouldn't be unusual for a GG, and chances are, you will not be the centre of attention unless you want to be.

When I go out in a dress that's wall to wall sequins, honey, I expect to be surrounded by admirers.

But I wouldn't wear it to a shopping mall!

Love Laura

I have never felt any guilt and I’m ‘way beyond a rush. I am always nicely dressed and never in any significantly provocative way. Many of my skirts, skorts and shorts are 4”-6” above the knee, but that’s about it.

I do not attempt to attract any male attention, but it has happened a few times. I’m Probably pretty decent up to 8’ to 10’ away. Closer than that does raise the question as to gender. However, any responses from me are without any sort of acceptance of the other person’s intentions.

The most recent situation was at a collector car auction near my home. They do it twice a year, February and November, and I’ve missed one in the 4 years that I’ve been here. Sometimes my wife goes with me, but this time she did not. Anyway, I was nicely dressed: skort, blouse, full jewelry and makeup, and with my usual wide-brimmed hat (I rarely wear wigs) and big sunglasses. While the auction takes place under a big tent, most of the cars are in the open air. I typically take lots of photos and I wandered over to look at a very nice early 50’s Studebaker. As I’m walking around the car and taking photos, a guy walked up and he started talking. As we talked, my responses were nowhere near being open-ended, but I did get the sense of where he was going. Finally, he ceased being subtle and asked if I was attached. I said yes, for going on 15 years now. That cooled his ardor, as the phrase goes, and was the end of the conversation. No way he could say that I led him on when my part of the conversation stuck to the cars and the auction and nothing was said that could be construed as wanting attention.

For full disclosure, I identify as transgender, non-binary. I am dressed 80% to 90% of the time when I leave my house. The rest of the time I present as my male self for convenience. I see no point in taking an hour and a half to get ready for an errand that takes less that 30 minutes. I have no plans to physically transition, but my social transition is essentially complete. The vast majority of people here know me as DeeAnn and few have ever met Don. Also, as time goes on, I seem to identify more as lesbian.

While some folks may attempt to solicit attention from men, my guess is that most don’t. However, I do suspect that if approached, they may appear to be very flattered. That might be construed as being receptive...

I am living no lie girls. I now dress very well. I almost always pay for pro makeup and I am rarely clocked. I used to get comfort in knowing that I looked good enough so no one would connect the "feminish" image they see with the man if they knew him.

I have, on several occasions run into people who absolutely should have known my man self and they said nothing. I share an elevator in MOntreal with a woman I dated twice?

Now I am really confident like a MIcheal Buble song. I am living no lie when I appear in clothes, hairstyle, makeup and scent that a real and vital part of myself prefers from time to time....you just haven't met me yet.

But isn't it true, we all know GG's who have trouble passing as their god given sex.?

Hi, for me, it is a dream to blend in amongst other women doing everyday things. Although I don't think I will be passable enough to attract attention, I thoroughly enjoy being on the feminine side. So up to this point, I will continue as on being who I am and what I am. That's what it's all about.

I’ve gone through several phases in dressing. First there is in the privacy of my home.  Next is wanting to cautiously venture out.  Third is engaging others, usually salespeople. Then being able to go any where.  And finally being with other crossdressers.  There is something so special about being with the gurls.  We share a hidden secret and a common desire.  It’s only among other cross dressers that I can act truly girly, frills and all.  So at the end of the day I’d much rather be with all of you in person.  I’ll settle for zoom until then.