Passing should only matter to you

Sera - I'm not quite the "big gurl" you are, but in my preferred heels I stand 6' 5". So if I go out in public fully dressed, it would be a "tall order" to convince folks I'm really a girl. Which means I'll be drawing some eyeballs, maybe causing some snickers. My concern is not "passing," exactly, but rather not having to deal with the prejudices of others, on the street, in the mall, etc. Passing would be perfect, of course, but for me it's only an aspiration.

Anyway, love your attitude, sister! 💋

For me, I enjoy being cute, tiny and (relatively) passable. I can understand how some of us here aren’t completely concerned with it. I like your attitude though! Do what makes you comfortable and f*** everyone else’s opinions!

Okay Sera you go sister! Love the attitude hun. While I am only 5’9” I weigh in at 220😔. I am trying to lose weight and slowly I am winning the battle. In my preferred heel height I would be 6’1-2.5” and a bit taller than average women. So I also wear kitten heels but then I am 5’11”-6’, lol. Still a bit tall so I need to work on being as passable as possible so I can avoid uncomfortable encounters of the ugly kind. Still I love how you think! Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle 💋👠

Hello Sera. Not sure if you know it but in Spanish, "Será" would translate to "Will be". 🙂 You are, and will be!

Passing... ah, such illusive panacea... Leaving on the side those sisters who live full time as females, or are in the process, with medications, surgeries... the fact is that having "passing" as a goal is really missing the mark.

Sure, a lot of people can go out and "pass" in their minds. Please, don't take it wrong because it is not my intention to belittle anybody who has ever ventured outside their closet... If you are going out late at night on a drive and you are not really interacting with anybody from car to car... is that really passing? Sure, it is, in a way. I did it! and doing it helped me build my confidence level. Or if you go out to a movie, or a play where people is paying all the attention to the screen... was it passing? For me it was, as it was everytime I was out and I didn't see people with torches or pitchforks chasing me! Or even if you are out and interacting with other people and they don't give any sign whatsoever of thinking that you are not a female, does that mean that you were passing? Or can it be that you ran into some respectful human beings who treat you like they treat everybody else, with respect as another human being?

Unless you actually have something that will be a bit exceptional, other than asking people "By the way, did you realize that I'm a crossdresser?" how would you know if you were really "passing"? On a very good day, I think that I can go out and people will accept me as they are able to perceive me... either they will see somebody who looks like a female, kind of talks like one, and behaves like one, or they may just don't really care if I'm dressed one way or another and will just treat me nicely.

Of course I have been read when I have been out. Somebody who is a CD who has to present as male most of the time and then tell you that they are never read when they go out as a woman... Mmmm... I don't know, but I don't think so. Ah yes, how much can we be looking for the signs that people "knows"? The less you care about what others may think and just go along living your life, the better for you!

Love,

Gaby

Love the attitude. I'm 5'9" and just over 6ft with heels. Both me and the wife don't care what others think me being dressed. I dress for my own reasons and I like feeling pretty.

I’ve never believed I could pass, more so now I’m older. From the neck down I’m a nice lady when dressed and that’s all that matters to me!

Thank you so much for posting this.

I am 5’8” tall, 230 pounds, and grow hair like water coming out of the tap 🙂

I am working on losing the weight (was 270 at my heaviest a year and a half ago) and I get rid of the hair as fast as it grows.

however even if I lose all the weight I want to, eliminate all the hair, and hide the 5 o’clock shadow with concealer and tinted moisturizer I am not sure I will ever be able to “pass”.

My goal however is to look better than I do today, and enjoy being as femme as I can as possible.

I dress in woman’s clothing out in public although I do so in stealth - it helps me feel better and helps me feel like who I am on the inside.

I’m in my late 40’s, and don’t know where my journey will ultimately take me but I do know I just want to find the true me that has been hiding inside for too long.

@ Live Life, gurl I'm with you. I hope not to offend any of my sisters. Just to say that if I can still feel sexy in a skirt with my 250 lbs bounceresk blad head w/ full lumberjack beard. We all should. Lol at times I feel like Girl Kratos. 😆😁🤣

hi sera, hi girls 🙂 interesting question and i'm split with this one but agreeing at the same time. my problem is simple..... inexperience, not with the actual cross dressing, but on a social level. i'm aching inside to explore the big wide world and meet a fellow cross dresser for friendship because above all who is going to understand your needs and aspirations other than someone who does exactly what you are doing? and vice versa. what stops me is pure and simple..... peoples attitudes, lack of acceptance, peoples ignorant views etc etc.

when I view myself in the mirror, all dressed up with my wig on, I think 'not bad' not because I think ive done an average job but because I cant comprehend how I look and how others would see me. I have absolutely no experience of what other cross dressers think of how I look, even now, would I pass? I have not got a clue! I really hate being negative, but I am a realist.

great post sera! and i'm really proud you have took the steps to actually go outdoors and enjoy yourself, its a credit to you! take care!

fiona xx

Well, I feel very comfortable since I do pass readily as a woman, and am accepted as such.

So I feel really GREAT!

Oh my!