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Ever since losing my uncle back in April, and the soul searching that loss inspired, I've become much more bold with my crossdressing. Every outing, every adventurous reach into the "normal" world seems to inspire me to push even further.
Not long ago I was happy to be out and about in just a skirt and girly shoes, but now that has become my normal MO on my weekdays off, and I find myself browsing shopping sites for wigs, makeup, jewelry, etc. And I really want to buy them! I've considered throwing away all my "male" underwear and replacing them with pretty panties.
Before my uncle passed, this pink fog would come and go, but now it seems to be a pink ocean that I'm swimming around in, unable to see the shore in any direction. It doesn't frighten me. It thrills me! Were it not for the fact that I'd lose my beloved fiancee, I'd consider living full time as a woman.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it ever subside?
oh my Marika I know exactly how you feel and have had the same experiences and background. Sometimes the fog will last a few weeks but now it comes on so much more often and last longer. Not complaining nor regretting but seems natural to others like us. Hope to chat soon and share our experiences together hon.
I have been going out on and off since the late 70's. I'm in a pink fog every time I go out as Terri. What helps me is that when I get depressed I just say to myself that I will be getting out again in the near future.
Yep. I'm experiencing that, too. Other than trips to meetings for CD groups, I don't get a chance to go out in public. Sure wish I could. A lot of it has to do with confidence to "pass". My wife says that a new, more natural looking wig would help that considerably. And although I've received compliments on it, I'm not real confident about my make-up. I wish I could go FT, but my wife won't go for it. Unfortunately, as I get older, those feelings (and the regret for not acting on them) have intensified. Could it be decreased testosterone production? Anyway, my head's a little messed up. I feel like my feminine side wants to take over, but I can't let her. To answer your question, from my experience, it doesn't subside. It just feels stronger every day. It's almost like a drug-- it's a hard habit to break. When I get to be Dawn, it makes me smile. OK. Enogh with the Chicago references. 😉
Ah, the pink fog! *giggle* I don't think it ever goes away. I live for the days I can get all dolled up and go shopping as Candy, even if it is for groceries or driving to fill up the cars gas tank. It is just being out in public and being accepted. No one gasping, no one stopping to stare or dropping everything to gawk. Business as usual as my heels "click" down an aisle or echo off the buildings from the hard concrete. It's about feeling pretty, smelling feminine, and looking the part of a lady. There is a anonymity about not being the one to be asked of, counted on to provide, and to be there in time of trouble. The unchained time where know one knows who you are!!!!!....as I walked past a close co-worker down the street, he didn't even say hello, or gasp, or acknowledge me!!!
Walking into the women's department and browsing the lingerie, the thrill of hanging bras on you arm, feeling the texture of soft panties, cute bows, and chiffon robes without a embarrassing thought, is very empowering! It's all there for you to buy, whatever tickles your girly fancy, as long as you have a "place" for your girly things. Restricting what I can buy because of the cost or the space I afford for attire, keeps me swooning for more satin darted blouses, contouring lingerie, soft satin's and silky nylons...of which a girl can NEVER have too many of! *giggle* Now you did it, got me chatting about my favorite subject! Sorry for being a chatty Cathy! Love the thread!
Marika let me say that I am sorry for your loss. Its very obvious how much hour unvle ment to you. That being said, the "Pink Fog" has a way of helping you deal with difficult/sad/uneasy times. Its there to help you break away. If I can find the time completely dress can always find some form of normal with a cute bra and panty set. I toss all my boxer brief out about three years ago and haven't looked back. Depending on things between you and your fiancee, she might be along for the ride into the fog. But that up to you if you comfrotable with her knowing. If you need to talk at all please don't hesitate.
I think (I know I think too much) it is more like a flood gate or a dam. Things in your life will cause it to open. Again sorry for your loss, and please understand I'm not comparing my experience to yours. For me I switched locations at work, now I work next to a beauty school an see these students daily. I feel so jealous of the guys that come in with lacy clothes or pink highlights. My "fog" is also turning in to an ocean. I want it to spread and become bigger so I can be free to express myself. I fear that events might lessen my desire to be pretty. My unaccredited advice to all of us is embrace what we have and roll with it, life is just a ride and I am tired of being strapped down in my seat.
Krystal,
I know exactly how you feel! I love being girly and all the stuff that comes along with it. I want it to keep growing and expanding, but I don't want to lose my wonderful fiancee in the process.
She's making strides, without a doubt. Just last night she came home unexpectedly and caught me wearing some very feminine leggings. Instead of losing her cool, she remarked about how cute the leggings are and how she might have to steal them from me (she made the same remark about a pencil skirt I showed her, which I soon-thereafter gave her as a gift). While I appreciated the sentiment, she's at least a size larger than me and these leggings are really tight on me.
I won't give up hope on her someday accepting me as I am, but before that day, I'm stuck between my feelings for her and my overwhelming desire to let my girliness grow as far as it wants to.
I got divorced a year ago. There was no way my ex would have been able to deal with knowledge of my cross dressing desires. We share the kids, and that provides me a lot of opportunity to be a woman. I would never be able to pass because I’m well over 6’, and have very masculine facial features. I am envious of those who can pass, and wish I could. Don’t get me wrong tho, I am very happy as a man, and with my body. I’m also straight. If however, I were to be given a magic potion that could change me completely... I think I would.
Victoria
Marika,
I have experienced this feeling. I have been dressing full time for two years now.
Just recently, six months ago, that pink fog has really increased for me. Perhaps I too was affected by a recent loss of a loved one.
I now just dress how I want anytime day or night. I am always aware of my desire to be lady like, other than that I just go with it. Clothes, makeup, hair do, etc. I have even started to get complements from women. Such a thrill.
-Terri Anne
I am only just starting out on my journey, but in the last month I have been in a pink fog - I can't stop thinking about buying female clothing, getting dressed, putting on makeup and discovering the woman in me. I don't know if it will be a permanent feature, but it has certainly got a hold of me at the moment. I am just loving it. Enjoy your pink fog and make the most of it!
Hi MJ This pink fog seems to effect people differently the only sure thing about pink fog it's not ever gonna let any of us out of the pink fog Rhonda xoxo
