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Personalities

53 Posts
20 Users
164 Reactions
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Posts: 379
Lady
Topic starter
(@leainvancouver)
Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 1 year ago

My friends and I have noticed distinct personality differences between my male and female parts. Lea is quite different than her other half, strikingly so in some aspects. Lea is much more extroverted, happy, carefree, fun, colourful, taste in music, more generous, detail oriented, even OCD about some things, much better attired, and so on. 

Some of you don’t see much difference in personalities between your masculine and feminine sides, but those of you who have noticed a difference, I’m curious to hear what kinds of things show up. I really doubt I would ever find a similar forum full of men that has the same vibe as CDH so I know something’s different!

 

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52 Replies
20 Replies
(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 606

@leainvancouver My partner commented on how my personality was different when I'm dressed, very soon after I came out to her.

Apparently I was very noticeably more pleasant; happier, more relaxed, not snippy, more attentive, affectionate and basically fun to be with!

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@caroline2k Caroline, I think you just hit on the best case scenario for other girls coming out to their wives. What woman wouldn’t want their partner to be more pleasant, happier, more relaxed and attentive!! Sounds like a win/win to me.

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(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 606

@leainvancouver Personally Lea, I have absolutely no complaints!😁

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2154

@leainvancouver Absolutely, Lea, Allie is much more chilled, chatty, fun and empathetic.

I notice too that I adopt small mannerisms like how I sit, upright and with my hands in my lap, moving my foot about when I'm in heels etc.

Allie x

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@alexina You are a proper lady and embody the feminine. That’s how to integrate your feminine!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@leainvancouver My wife just told me this morning that I am not as grumpy and more open and sensitive when in stephanie mode. She also commented on how I take on some feminine traits like walking and hand gestures when dressed.  I asked if she was mocking me and her reply was no and she thought it was fun.  She also said she looks forward to stephanie coming out in public when we travel to Denver in May.  I obviously am excited about that.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@stephaniewyo Wow, what a sweetie! Have a blast in Denver and tell us all about it.

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Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@stephaniewyo I’m also looking forward to your Denver stories.

Jamie

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Baroness Annual
(@conniech)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Fairfax , Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 232

@stephaniewyo Obviously excited....for certain! Simply wonderful how she values and supports you. Here's hoping for a delightful May trip.

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Lady
(@lisa55)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Gloucester, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 554

@leainvancouver myself and especially my wife notice a total change in personality in me. Lisa is softer, kinder, caring, observant, patient, listens and a tendency to speak on female issues and herself. Drab me doesn’t want to listen, still caring and observant but he can be very inpatient. My wife has noticed that Lisa tends to walk, sit and stand up differently, more womanly than masculine. I never noticed until she told me so. Lisa enjoys housework, dishes, laundry and clean are several things I just enjoy doing. Drab me helps a little. 
   I revealed Lisa to my wife 6 months ago. We have become more open to each other since. I had been hiding the female within for over 60+ years. Once out male me was no longer depressed, frustrated and short. I noticeable difference. She loves having not only a husband, but a girl friend. I dress as Lisa most days. Unless we are going out or doing yard work. I feel so much better, both physically and mentally. Being in our 60’s the kids live long ways away, we are retired and live out in the country, our parents have past on. So we are by ourselves and people don’t tend to stop by without calling first. So for us it’s a perfect setting for Lisa to be. 
    My wife had a knee operation just last month. Since then drab me needed to be out more, taking care of her. As it turned out some of the medicines seemed to have an effect on her emotions. She was laying in bed, having a hard time keeping it together. Drab me sat next to her comforting her. At one time she looked up at me and said “I miss Lisa, I miss going shopping and talking to her”. She placed her head back down on the pillow and fell asleep. At that moment I knew all was okay with me being who I really was around her. That little interaction spoke volumes to me about our relationship. 
   I know your relationship and living conditions are much different. But even in a DADT relationship it still very stressful on both parties. And can be very disruptive. My wife and I had a long two day discussion about me, both male and female personas. It was mostly me talking to her and her listening to my testimony. I didn’t hide anything, nothing was held back. It was the best thing that ever happened to either one of us. The time was right, the place was right and I am the one that brought up the conversation. Nothing was planned. My reveal (or coming out if you wish.) was not planned, scripted or rehearsed ahead of time. The key to it all was she let me express myself and who I was inside. That evening my wife gained a Girlfriend, as well as a best friend and a husband, all in one.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@lisa55 Lisa, that is the most heart warming story I’ve heard in a while and I’m so happy for you and your wife. Even drab you is lighter and happier. Lisa has the green light to be there when ever she feels like it knowing she is loved and appreciated. Isn’t that what we all want?

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@leainvancouver as for me, Dr. Lorraine, and Mr Tim.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@missylinda As in Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde?  😃

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@leainvancouver absolutely, Lorraine is calm and a joy to be around. Tim is a profane, loud mouthed, opinionated asshole. Lorraine driving the car is the best thing that has happened around here.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@missylinda We are making the world a better place one girl at a time! 💃

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@leainvancouver that is a motto you could sell on countless products!

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@missylinda Damn Right! Maybe then the penny will drop and nice people will encourage us! Wait! They already do! ❤️

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@leainvancouver yea, only the meanies hate us, nice people not only tolerate, but are interested in meeting all different kinds of people.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@missylinda Hi Lorraine, I appreciate that we may confuse people, which can make them feel uncomfortable. Rather than deal with their own discomfort, their solution is to make us feel uncomfortable, as if we are doing something to hurt them.

It’s twisted sister! 

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@leainvancouver agree, the intolerant make a snap judgement and never allow us a dialogue to explain who we are.

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Posts: 113
(@shelly-lynn)
Estimable Member     Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I am so much happier as a woman and your description is so very much me. I certainly have two different personalities and I would much rather show the entire world the true me but that is not possible.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@shelly-lynn the world needs more kindness and beauty. I hope you can find a way to show up in all your splendour!

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Posts: 1497
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

For me it's a resounding yes to all of the above.

In drab mode I'm a bit of an introvert, but when I'm dressed my inhibitions disappear. I feel more relaxed, more self-confident, more outgoing. I'll chat more than I would normally, and dance the night away in the middle of the floor. My posture, movement and speech are all more feminine.

Basically, when I dress I take on a female persona who is simultaneously me and not-me. It's a form of escape, a brief respite from my everyday cares and responsibilities.

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Posts: 1109
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

I generally think I have very similar personalities. However lately I have noticed that as a woman my feelings take precedence over my typical masculine rationality. I did not mean by this that I am irrational, but that I I tend to care more about what I feel than what I think, contrary to my masculine side, which is not as expressive with what I feel. I am more open to improvisation and more communicative en femme. Although I do not feel that I can be my best judge.

Maybe I have become my ideal girl. Ha ha ha.

Cinnamon kisses,

Gisela Claudine

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@firefly it is difficult to discern small differences inside without someone close who can be more objective. Noticing more feeling and self expression may indicate that Gisela is in the room. ❤️

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Posts: 1004
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Yes I’m pretty much in agreement with all of that Lea.

I’ve seen a number of quotes on here in the past mentioning being introverted in drab mode, so maybe there is a theme there.

But yes, I’m much more self confident and happy. There’s also definitely a feminine persona, and that growing as time goes on 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@lucyb112 Thank you Lucy. Maybe happiness and confidence are the drugs we are all addicted to? 🙂 When I think about how much energy I spent repressing parts of myself most of my life out of shame or a need to protect myself, I can see it was a net drain. Let the girl out of the bag and watch her blossom. ❤️

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@leainvancouver definitely xx

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Posts: 1443
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Mainly dressing on my own, I've not had that much in the way of interaction with others as Fiona - yet.  What I can say is, she's more impulsive than my rational drab self.  As we get to spend more time, I hope to find she's also rather more outgoing too, as I'm normally very quiet and reserved when not on familiar social ground.

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4 Replies
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@finallyfiona honey, you have to get out and strut your stuff! It can be an exhilarating, fun and terrifying slippery slope.

I wonder how many girls intuitively know this, riding the brakes fearing that Hell will break loose if they take their tootsies off the brake and step on the gas?

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@finallyfiona Get beautiful Fiona out there hun x

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1443

@samanthaxxxx  @leainvancouver   Oh I fully intend to get out more!  I have dipped a toe in that pool, actually I must have gone at least waist deep now 🙂  I already know the water's lovely, although it's still looking a little scary when it gets deeper.  Thank you both lovely ladies for the encouragement to swim 🤗 

Back on the topic of the thread, we're still pre-'The Talk' but I'm hoping my OH will discover that Fiona is nicer to be around than my drab self.  But knowing what I already do of her attitude, I'm not holding my breath.  The right time to press the button and find out how it's going to go will be in the late Spring. 

 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@finallyfiona I know this may sound corny but everytime I hear girls just wanna have fun by Cyndi Lauper I get a knot in my stomach.  Its so beautiful amd fun and I'm old enough to remember her doing it on Top of the Pops and thinking wow .  That was 40 years ago so the message is for us new gurls that should have listened then.xx

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Posts: 450
Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

@leainvancouver My wife just told me this morning that I am not as grumpy and moreoen amd sensitive when in stephanie mode. She also commented on how I take on some feminine traits like walking and hand gestures when dressed.  I asked if she was mocking me and her reply was no and she thought it was fun.  She also said she looks forward to stephanie coming out in public when we travel to Denver in May.  I obviously am excited about that.

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Posts: 450
Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Interesting thread...its hard for me to comment as no one has seen Samantha but Stephen has always had a feminine side . But i know the last few weeks has seen that increase...its now Thank You not thanks , changing my posture and even the walk !!  One thing I've always done though is cross my legs when I'm on the tube (subway) . Hopefully won't be long before Samantha does rhe same xx

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2 Replies
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@samanthaxxxx you go girl! I’ve grown more comfortable going out without a lot of effort.  When I interact with people they see and acknowledge Lea in a very different way than they do with Brad. Get those heels to the tube and cross your legs as you like!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@leainvancouver Wow what more encouragement does a girl need....thank you sweetheart xx

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Posts: 72
Lady
(@emily2day)
Estimable Member     DFW, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

My wife says the same as I'm seeing on most of the reply's. I'm not grumpy, smile more, take more pictures and she enjoys our time together. as for style, my male personality is usually in a uniform or jeans and tee-shirt so as Emily I get to express all the style and colors I really enjoy.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@emily2day Yay Emily! Life’s too short to be a grumpy old man. We thrive when we can allow your inner girl to glow.

It sounds like your wife’s got a new best friend!

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Posts: 3396
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Dressing as a woman it is natural to emulate the mannerisms to fit the female image. As for feminine emotions they are there already but mostly repressed but appearing female they are allowed out of the box and you and a partner will see the difference.

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Posts: 811
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

my wife told me the same thing when I am dressed that I am more calm and relaxed and much nicer, which greatly surprised me. As I felt I was more anxious and on guard worrying about who may stop by while dressed up.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@leah63 Thank you Leah. It sounds like your wife sees your feminine as calmer, relaxed and nicer which is beautiful and very sweet of her to say.

There have been the times when I’ve felt stressed betwixt and between genders and I felt like a hot mess inside, friends didn't seem to notice or care, so I guess I pulled through with grace.

You deserve to be relived of guard duty! ❤️

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Posts: 1777
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I tend to be more outgoing and much more willing to talk about personal topics, feelings ...etc as Fiona.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379
  1. @d44 Our inner girls are great teachers. ❤️
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Posts: 328
Duchess
(@karla1958)
Honorable Member     Not in New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I've always been the Alpha type.  When in femme mode, my wife says that I appear more calm, more happy.  She says that I lower my voice more. 

She and I have also noticed that it appears my brain automatically puts me in to using more feminine gestures.  For example, I will do the "limp wrist" when talking as one of my gestures.  Also, when standing and taking a drink, I will take one foot, angle the toes slightly toward the other foot and then slightly raise my heel.  I caught myself doing that one time and told my wife.  We both had a good laugh about it and I constantly catch myself doing it.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@karla1958 Karla, that’s such an amazing tale! It’s like an alter ego or even the opposite of your alpha male persona. It’s as if it’s been waiting to leap out when you weren’t looking.

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Posts: 450
Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

My mother identified the female parts of my personality very early in my life.

When I crossdress, those female parts are free to express themselves.  In male mode, it is normally not appropriate for me to express my female traits, mannerisms, etc.

On the days I crossdress, I tend to dress and act very effeminately.  Moreover, I enjoy the validation I get when women compliment me on my appearance, even the rare complements from a male. 

 

 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@catgurl  That was astute of your mom to articulate the differences between your gender traits and quite valuable. I wish my mom had done something similar for me. How did you feel about switching between genders when you were younger?

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@leainvancouver 

It seemed very normal and natural to me. Moreover, I looked forward with great anticipation to the days when I was in female gender.  My family and girls in my neighborhood thought next to nothing of it. Most boys in the neighborhood accepted it with only passing curiosity, but I do recall a couple of brutal bullies, but that is another story. 

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Posts: 55
Lady
(@sallyj)
Estimable Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 12 months ago

I am calmer, more helpful and considerate, and more good natured in my Sally persona than in her male counterpart’s. My wife has noticed it, and I think that’s one of the reasons she has gradually accepted my dressing. What has also interested me is that I like my Sally persona better too and have been consciously trying to adopt her behaviors and attitudes in all of my interactions, whether dressed or not.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@sallyj Hi Sally, there is a real pattern here. Being nicer and more helpful is key to being more accepted by our SO. Integrating our feminine traits into our male personas will happen over time, or maybe the feminine will just take over! 😃

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