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Places to go and things to do!

24 Posts
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Posts: 34
Lady
Topic starter
(@bethanymichaels)
Trusted Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 12 months ago

Hello ladies!

when I’ve gone out I’ve always tried to blend in and not be noticed, considering a change!

I am looking for ideas, places to go, things to do, places I might get noticed more.

As much as I would love to I’m sadly not able to get a mani or pedi:(

Would love to please hear other suggestions!

 

Thank you!

 

Bethany

 

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23 Replies
16 Replies
(@playinginmypanties)
Joined: 6 years ago

Estimable Member     Monroe, Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 170

@bethanymichaels Why can't you get a Mani-pedi? You can get clear nail polish or clear nail strengthener. Nothing better then a spa mani-pedi! You can treat your significant other and you with a couples spa packages. Surprise them with one! A lot of men are getting them also. You can get the works that includes massage, facial, hair, nails and more. They give you Champagne or wine, fruits as you get pampered.

Having your nails trimmed is very important and if done wrong can lead to ingrown nails infections ect!

As for color. it is ok for men to have any kind of colored tattoo that is permanent, but if they get color on their nails that can be removed with nail polish remover that's Taboo!! Think about this if a man gets colored tattoos right above their nails in the shape of their nails, That's ok? Hogwash!

There are nail polish made for males, Nails for males by Orly is one. There are others with colors and nail salons are doing a flesh colored nails on males look. I wouldn't go with hot pink or bright red nails to start with but go with any other color if you want. Black is a good color to start with. I get my nails done often but not as much as I want! The cost is the only thing stopping me.  I dress in female clothes to get my nails done and never had a negative problem.  Women there have looked at me and went about their business and other women have complemented me on my color choice and my clothes. I even had a female choose my color for her fingers and toes. I have had nice conversations with other customers and staff while getting my nails done.

As for going out, parks are nice or shopping is great. You can go to a LGBTQ+ bar or nite club.   Go where you want as you know where you want to go. Drive to another town it that makes you feel better.   If that's what you want JUST DO IT!

Life is to short to worry about what others think about you! So enjoy it while you can.

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(@bethanymichaels)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 34

@playinginmypanties thank you for your thoughts, feedback, and words of encouragement!

 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

Posted by: @playinginmypanties

I wouldn't go with hot pink or bright red nails to start with but go with any other color if you want.

The first time that I went out with coloured nail polish was with a bright Chinese red to... a car show. Only one female rep complimented my choice, with a sideways comment. 😁

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@bethanymichaels 

So ... you want to stand out in the crowd, and to be noticed more?

There are any number of ways to accomplish that, a number of which might get you arrested 🙂

Seriously though, the whole 'being noticed' thing immediately reminded me about something I saw on Hannah McKnight's website. She has a section called 'T-Girl Spotlight'. In that there's an entry by a very beautiful crossdresser called Claire Jones from Derbyshire, here in the UK. Check it out.

Claire's difficulty, stunning as she is, is that she's seven feet tall in heels. She has no option BUT to stand out and be noticed, so she embraces it:

'No matter how feminine, no matter how I move, how I speak, how I dress, there is no way I am ever going to pass, which I know many see as the Holy Grail of dressing and which is something I know I’m never going to achieve.  As Claire I get stared at constantly when out anywhere, but I’ve turned what could be something potentially very emotionally damaging into a positive.  Because I know I can’t go under the radar, I don’t even try. 

'I stand tall, I act confident, I look people in the eye and I smile at them.  Ninety-nine percent of the time they smile back. 

'Ironically, I think my height has made me into a more confident person when out in the world.  People will come up to me and talk to me, mainly out of curiosity, and I feel a responsibility to acquit myself well and give a good impression of myself and the trans community at large.  To that end it’s also helped make me more tolerant and understanding towards people’s lack of understanding or their prejudices.'

Ellie x

 

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@ellyd22 

Ironically, I think my height has made me into a more confident person when out in the world.  People will come up to me and talk to me, mainly out of curiosity, and I feel a responsibility to acquit myself well and give a good impression of myself and the trans community at large.

Now that's just the type of thing I thought about in my reply to Harriette's post regarding why men can't wear women's clothes. Only heads above the parapet initiate change. I'll have to look for that website. Thanks, Ellie.

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@alexina 

You'll love Hannah's website, Allie. It's a beacon of common sense, while at the same time being tremendous fun.

And it's particularly fun when she finds something to really rant about. There's just no stopping her at that point 🙂

Ellie x

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@ellyd22 

Ha ha! Just been there and I totally agree, lighthearted and informative. I've bookmarked it for further reading. Also read Claire's article, again very inspiring, particularly her height (I'm 6 feet without heels).

Have I mentioned how much I love this place!

Hugs and thanks 

Allie x

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@alexina 

Have I mentioned how much I love this place!

Well, there's so much to love.

AND we're all so lovable.

Heart

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@alexina 

Also read Claire's article, again very inspiring, particularly her height (I'm 6 feet without heels).

She's a woman with altitude.

 

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@ellyd22 

I'll remember that next time I'm looking for some vertigo...

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@alexina 

In terms of height puns, that almost went over my head.

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@alexina 

Sorry ... just felt I had to level with you.

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@ellyd22 

Ah, I'll try not to be too highbrow in my responses then.

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@ellyd22 

Yeah, overthinking things makes my head soar.

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(@ruthtraube)
Joined: 10 months ago

New Member     Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 1

@bethanymichaels   who do you want to notice you?  men, women, police?

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(@bethanymichaels)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 34

@ruthtraube not police lol

really women, they might think I have a cute outfit!

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Posts: 186
Duchess
(@emilysouthern)
Reputable Member     Fayetteville, Arkansas, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Blending is so overrated Bethany.. Lol  I am by no means a blendy girl, except for shopping, Ulta, etc.

A great place to go are casino's.. very safe with all those cams & security.  I visit one occasionally on Saturday nights when they have a live band, listen to the music, a few drinks, and dancing.  No gambling even necessary.

Another is come down my way to Eureka Springs.. not all that far for you, and me & some of the Tulsa girls are planning a weekend there this summer.

Read my recent post on Unexpected Friends for a taste of what may await you.

Emily

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1 Reply
(@bethanymichaels)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 34

@emilysouthern thanks for the ideas!

i think it’s time to blend in less.

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Posts: 1461
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

How about the theatre, or music concerts?  There's a small-ish music venue about half an hour away from me that seats a few hundred.  When they have bands that appeal to the more mature demographic, I've noticed the GG's seem to treat it as a bit of an occasion and make some effort to dress up, although obviously not to full formal levels.  Potential as usual to stand out as a CD (unless you really do pass well), but at the same time, be able to dress up yet not be too out of place 🙂 

Being mainly on my own as Fiona over the summer and not a solo drinker in pubs/bars, I'm thinking to go out to things like this to get out in public.  A mani/pedi would also be a nice idea for me!

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1 Reply
(@bethanymichaels)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 34

@finallyfiona thank you!

love the idea of a concert.

i think I pass ok, I think lol

 I do normally want to dress up a little more than most girls, so I do worry about sticking it, too much:)

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Posts: 17
(@villainesscolleen)
Eminent Member     Northbrook, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 11 months ago

I like going for walks around my town. I don't know if I blend or not (I'm 6'3 in heels), at this stage of my life I really don't care if I do. I live in the North Burbs of Chicago. I have made pilgrimages to the city, I like going to the opera, symphony, and ballet . If people want to stare, then do so. I am living my best life Trans Heart Smile  

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Posts: 59
Guest
(@Anonymous 95775)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago

It’s not a simple answer in my mind. I’m wondering what “blend” means to you? You’re en femme but low key? 

Where I live in a medium size conservative city, I am not comfortable being my female self in public. Of identified, it would be horrendous. However, my male outfits get more female every month. I’ve worn women’s blouses and slacks with bold stud earrings, perfume, and cute socks. Doing my own nail polish is easy and the solid colors come off easily and quickly. 

I like the suggestion of theater and music, safer spots that draw perhaps more accepting people. When I was in a big city I considered tourist spots because I would feel safer in that crowd. 

our journeys drift over time as we find our ways. Yes, ways not way, because for many of us girls there are many paths that we choose. I wish you a pleasant outing! 

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Posts: 1062
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I really don't even consider blending or not. I just go wherever I want. I particularly enjoy just doing normal things when dressed. You should know that I mostly dress only when away from home. So, it's easy to dress 24/7 when doing this. However, when out, I pretty much just go and do whatever I want. Appropriately dressed of course. 

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