Pleasure

I had a good friend whose journey began about the same time as mine. She was intersex and was in the process of also sorting out her femininity. Remarkably, while she grew up male, her parents decided against any surgery that would force a gender identity. Sadly she passed away a year ago August.

Anyway, we were having a conversation over lunch one day. She told me about the challenges that she was facing in claiming her rightful gender identity. Then, she told me something that I will remember for a long time. She said that I always seemed to be very comfortable in my identity. It was something that I had never thought about, at least not consciously anyway. However, as I began to process it, she was right. I didn’t question what I was doing. It felt good and I had no shame about it. DeeAnn was free of some things that had haunted Don for decades.

I think about this sometimes when I am out by myself at a restaurant or shopping, etc. I think about how fortunate I am to have discovered how things actually sat for me, to be able to live that truth and to be mostly accepted.

Thanks Alyce, Rest In Peace...

I am somewhat new to going out dressed, but am getting comfortable going en femme, and it is such a wonderful experience. The courtesy one gets when out is very nice as well!

Amy

Sounds wonderful Carole!
I have never been out completely enfemme, I have never been completely enfemme I guess as I have a heavy beard.
However, since accepting my fem side and working through what that means I have found that my interactions with people has changed. People seem to open up to me more, checkout staff actually talk to me, and staff in stores are more helpful and chatty. It's not due to any difference in my presentation, I think that I am more open, less guarded and probably a nicer person... I hope!

Every time I've gone out dressed I was nervous and scared. After going out though I loved every second of it. It's what keeps my desire going.

That’s a good point DeLora. A significant part of our communication is subconscious. Not everyone can recognize this, but those who can respond differently to you...

Thank You, Bobbi!

I think an important part of our friendship was that we were contemporaries. Our ages were just a couple of years apart. What that meant was that we could talk about historical events or put current things into an historical context very easily. For example, we both experienced the assassinations of the Kennedy brothers and Dr. King. So, if we talked about these events, we were dealing with the same database of information. We may have thought differently in reaction, but the raw information was essentially the same. It would not be the same in a discussion with a younger person as it wouldn’t be a first hand experience for them. Nothing against younger people, but the interaction wouldn’t be the same.

My grandfather lived to be 95. He would lament that nearly all of his friends and lodge brothers had either passed away or were in nursing homes. My father, who is 94 now, says essentially the same thing. However, until I became friends with Alyce, I didn’t really understand the significance.

If nothing else, Life is a growth experience!