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It's been a while since I last wrote a thread. I've just been getting on with the business of being Fiona, day in, day out. As the title of the thread suggests, working where I live means it has been somewhat quiet. Some weeks I've seen next to no-one and been more or less nowhere, except to the supermarket and maybe round the shops in town on a weekend. But that doesn't mean that things haven't been moving slowly in the right direction.
Firstly, my piercings have healed so my ears are now my own at last! I have found a set of little flat heart-shaped silver sleeper studs for general use, but I've also tried on the dangly styles that I'd bought, and of course the gold tiered pendants that my aunt gave me, which partly justified the piercings in the first place 🙂 They were lovely, if a little heavy - but I'm getting used to that and I will be proudly wearing them when I go to visit and take her out for lunch next weekend.
I've started having laser on my beard and belly hair, and my eyebrows tinted and waxed, all at my local salon. The first session happened the weekend after Leeds First Friday and the A2OC car-show social that I attended last month, and I just had the second session this afternoon. My belly is doing quite nicely already, although I've yet to see much difference on my beard. But I'm taking a high enough setting on the laser now to have an effect, the smell of burning hair certainly confirmed that! The ladies are so lovely in there, they're really pleased to be helping me to become the full me, as it were 🙂
This time I've also treated myself to my first mani/pedi, so I now have lovely smooth shiny colourful fingernails! My feet feel wonderful, but I just had clear polish on my toes since we're getting into Autumn, and the likelihood of being out in sandals again this year is probably fairly slim. My next two salon visits are already booked, for more lasering and fill-ins on my fingernails, respectively. I'm going to look into micro-blading for my eyebrows though, that they can't offer. I feel I need something more than the fairly sparse (although beautifully tinted) hairs that I'm left with after the tint has faded off my skin, and not constrained by the boundaries of my male eyebrow shape.
I had to hurry home through the rain, but when I got here, some shoes I'd bought on eBay were waiting on the doorstep. They're for an outfit I've got plans for, and I'm pleased to say they fit well enough for the occasion I've got in mind. As you might imagine, the nails co-ordinate with them ... but that's all I'm saying for now 😉
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I said it's been pretty quiet, but that doesn't been I've been a complete hermit. I finally got to have dinner with my sister as Fiona, during the week after LFF. We had a good conversation, and she didn't appear to be bridling at all, seeing her brother as a woman. We still don't seem to make much effort to stay in contact though - plus ca change and all that 😉
On the Sunday of the August Bank Holiday weekend I met up with my friend from school, the same guy with whom I went to two concerts on consecutive nights back in June, the second one as Fiona. This time we went to a heritage railway about 20 miles from here, which we can almost remember being in service, having closed just as we found a mutual teenage interest in railways back in the early 80's. A great day was had re-living old times, riding up and down the line behind steam and diesel locomotives, chatting away non-stop the whole time. I got gendered female a couple of times by the railway staff too, which was lovely 🙂
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This weekend just gone has been probably my last full A2OC social of the year, in North Yorkshire around the Richmond area. I drove up on Friday, and stayed two nights at a local inn. I had been thinking about doing Leeds First Friday again since it was that Friday, but the extra costs and the schedule of the weekend didn't really allow that to work this time.
For the last couple of years, the Richmond social has been the memorial for the A2OC stalwart member who originally arranged the first edition of it, but sadly passed away not long before the second one. That then coincided with his funeral, and saw quite a convoy of A2's in the cortege. His widow Jan greatly appreciates that we continue to come from far and wide to remember him and to pay our respects at his grave in the churchyard, even as we enjoy doing what we do. She was a large part of the weekend and came with us for all of it, as we enjoyed drives out in convoy down routes she knows through the hills and dales, and had lovely breaks and meals in various cafes and pubs she recommended. We didn't do too badly with the weather on Saturday, but the warmth of the company won out over the mist and rain on Sunday.
Throughout the entire weekend I was treated absolutely as the woman that I was presenting as; by the lovely landlady, her daughter and the other guests at the inn where I was staying, by the staff in all the places we stopped, by Jan herself, and by other A2OC members and their spouses/partners, some of whom hadn't yet met me as Fiona. The only slight downside was the husband of one of them, a man of very black and white opinions, quite set in his ways as he approaches his eighties. I'd previously been on talking terms with him, but this time he totally blanked me. Oh well, you can't win them all, and small loss really.
On the plus side though, my very best friend, who was the first person ever to know about and to meet 'proto-Fiona' last year, became my passenger all weekend. I'd not seen him since before Christmas, and while we've followed each others' progress since, it's been so good to catch up with him properly. I'm hugely pleased that we will now be spending plenty of time together at my place towards the end of October. As in previous years, I will be hosting a residency for his retro-fitting services for other A2 owners, which means an extended set of mini-socials right on my own driveway - and this time, for the first time as Fiona 🙂
To close, I just have to mention the teenage GG I encountered as I walked out of a stall in the Ladies at a motorway services on the journey home, who said 'That's a f***ing dude!' loudly to her friend. From behind me, I then heard the friend say, 'But it's fine, she just smiled and walked away' 🙂
I've really enjoyed reading this latest update, Fiona.
You've titled it "Quiet progress", but maybe it should be "Quite some progress". Good for you!
eM xxx
@emmat Thank you eM 🙂 With only being a few months into life as Fiona, I'm still really just settling in and getting things how I want them. The biggest upheavals are over, I see the changes I'm now making, as being something like fine-tuning. I guess they seem like bigger things when viewed from the perspective of life more en homme though. It now strikes me, I've apparently stopped thinking that way!
Thanks for this Fiona.
I do love reading about your continued adventures.
What strikes me is the general air of normality of it all, which in itself is lovely.
Lucy x
@lucyb112 You're welcome, and thank you Lucy 🙂
You're quite right, this is the 'new normal'. Like I just said to eM above, really I'm just doing what a woman does. But it certainly feels very comfortable to me, and it appears not to be uncomfortable to the great majority of the people I encounter either, which I hope is encouraging to all of us here 🙂
Well except for a couple of bumps in the road to Finally Fiona. All is looking up.
So glad that you can now wear those lovely earrings from your dear Aunt.
Wishing you fun and happiness throughout your journeys.
XOXO Fran 🥰
@maureen76 Thank you Maureen 🙂 A2OC is the Owners Club for Audi A2's, a kind of mini-MPV from the Milennium. You girls over there will scarcely ever have seen one unless you've travelled in Europe. They were never sold on your side of the Pond, and only in small numbers over here, making them rare even from new.
@finallyfiona Very cool---thanks for the info---I would never have guessed what A20C stood for unless you told me. I see---it is the rarity that creates the club
@finallyfiona Hardly quiet! That sounds like a whole series of very positive and bold steps forward. Go girl!
Anna x
Thank you Anna! 🙂 I was going to respond that I am quietly pleased with the way things are going, but then I realised that would not be wholly truthful either 😳
Hey Fiona, I love to hear about your adventures and your extraordinary continuing journey. You go girl! If only ...
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Thank you Chrissie! One day, honey, one day - keep on keeping the dream alive: if there's a chance to make it come true, we'll do what we can to make it happen for you 🙂
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
It is heartening to read your story of acceptance and, dare I say, normality. Sure you have a couple of minor irritations but this is par for the course. Apart from that everything seems to be going great.
There is always that fear of rejection and adverse comments but overall this is a wonderful example of how things have moved forward. Friends who take you as you are because you are still the same person with the same interests. This shows the respect you have from these people.
The next thing is to find new friends who only know Fiona which can be very exciting as you are now full time.
This is a new normal but within you will have to pinch yourself every day.
@ab123 Thank you Angela 🙂
The next thing is to find new friends who only know Fiona which can be very exciting as you are now full time.
This will indeed be the fun bit. I'm thinking maybe to find a choir to sing with. The fairly conservative chamber choir I sang with before the pandemic is probably not the answer - a girl in the tenors isn't unheard of, but in the baritones?? But maybe a 'my town choir' sort of setup. The music might not be up to what I'm capable of, but I'd certainly get to meet people!
Thanks for another detailed and heartening account of your continuing blossoming, Fluff. You'll know how much everyone enjoys reading them by the responses, mine included 😊.
If there's one gem in particular that stands out for me, it's getting to have lunch with your favourite aunt as you wear the earrings she gifted you. She'll be so proud, as are all of us lucky enough to call you friend.
I look forward to hearing more in the (now) not too distant future 😊.
Allie xx
@alexina Allie, you're so nice to me hon, I'm most touched by such kind words *hugs*
Describing her joy at the relationship we've discovered in an email, my aunt said she never thought she'd be involved in something like this at her age - she's approaching her 80's now. It's going to be really special to wear those earrings for her on Saturday. There might even have to be a photo 🙂
Fiona -
Thank you for sharing your journey, it is heart warming to read. I like what you said about dangling earrings. The extra weight is one of the things I like about wearing them. I hope your Aunt enjoys seeing you wearing the ones she gave you.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Thank you Suzanne 🙂 Having your earlobes dancing to gravity's tune as you move your head is such a feminine pleasure, especially when you know that you made it happen, by having them pierced for that very purpose. I suspect there might be some moist eyes when we greet each other on Saturday 🙂
Congratulations on living the life Fiona. It just keeps getting better until it's suddenly just all the same. Glad that the ears are ready for your aunt's jewelry. I have a special loved piece from my beloved aunt that I wear regularly. It feels good to have them with us. Hugs, Marg
@margprodue Thank you Marg, and hugs right back 🤗 I only wish I'd made the effort with my aunt years ago while in male mode, we've missed out on so much time together. We'll certainly make the best of it now though, and those earrings are going to be very much cherished for the rest of my life for the same reasons.
I am so very happy to hear that you are at the point where living as a woman just feels normal. The fact that you did all this relatively quickly combined with the fact that you did not have an overabundance of mental anguish about it shows that Fiona is truly who you really are. Not all trans girls are able to come to that realization.
Hugs,
Fiona
@d44 Thank you for all those lovely things you just said Fiona *hugs* The bit that gets me every time is, yes you may very well be right, but I never knew anything at all about that until about three years ago, and it's only very recently become completely clear. I do feel very lucky to have had this life change though 🙂
Hugs right back 🤗
Fluff
Superb heart-warming post @finallyfiona 😘 I missed much of your early journey as I wasn't aware of this site and how wonderful it is. I love how supportive and engaged everyone is with all our own journeys - wherever they may take us xx
@isabelcross Thank you sweetie 🙂 I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't be where I am today with Fiona, without having joined here. Why I suddenly felt that I had to tell my innermost thoughts to the world when that's so unlike me, I really don't know! But I'm so glad I did, as the responses of understanding, support and encouragement just confirmed at every step that what was I doing was valid, and helped me to take the next step.
Hugs,
Fluff xxx
