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I have always found the new year to be a great time to feel grateful for the changes and progress I’ve made over the past year. I set my sights on what I’d like to invite into my life in the coming year by visualizing how I want my life to be this time next year.
I won’t list them all but it will give you an idea.
This year…
I learned how to undo my bra behind my back.
I went from dressing occasionally to dressing every day at home.
I got rid of most of my drab clothes.
I present as androgynous and have broken the barriers that kept me hiding myself and ventured out en femme into the wide world.
I cracked the code, learning how to put outfits together that suit me.
I spent my first whole day en femme with another girl getting our makeup done, lunch, shopping, and to a show for the evening.
I learned that it’s more comfortable dressing to ‘fit in’ rather than trying to stand out. That’s a tough one because I’m already taller than many men so I don’t need to put neon shoes on to stand out. ; )
Being a woman about town, I used a women’s washroom for the first time.
I came out as a CD to those close to me and spent time with some of them en femme.
Those are the highlights, there are many more but I wont list them all.
This year I want to grow more comfortable presenting as a woman which means going out more often en femme, voice training, finding a local community of girls, refining my style, getting better, and faster with make up, coming out to more friends, and, yes, maybe even growing a pair! ; )
We know how all consuming and complicated it can get when we’re in the pink fog. What are you grateful for this past year? What have you gained? What have you let go of? What are your plans going forward?
We are all in such different situations, stages of life, contexts, etc, yet we are all clicking our heels down on same path.
Take a moment to relax and reflect. Breathe. Have a cup of tea. Reflect on where you are on your path. What initiations or milestones did you pass and what do you envision for your femself this time next year?
I hope it’s ripe and juicy!
I want to recognize that this community has been a huge support for me. I am very grateful to all of you for your courage, style, grace, humour, and vulnerability.
Lea
Last year was a year of big firsts for me. My first attempt at being out em femme in a social group of CDs, my first complete makeover and finding a great therapist who has helped me come to the conclusion that my gender identity is female and that transitioning would be wonderful but not practical.
This year I am hoping to do several more makeovers and hopefully learn something about makeup so I can begin doing this myself. I really really wish I could find a great CD/Trans social group where I live. Even if it was a friend or two for dinner or activities or to share thoughts etc. The one I attended where I live was great but not for me (too much around pub nights etc).
I have had great conversations with close friends and family about this part of me and all have been supportive. I hope by the end of the year I have a dedicated part of my life where being Lauryn is fulfilling both socially and growth wise.
Lauryn
Nice question! My answerto the first question is... a year ago - Funchal in Madeira. (O.K: that's not really what you were asking...) Right then: a year ago I was no less convinced about my cross-dressing than I am now, but I probably actually did it a little more than I do now. That's mostly owing to pressure of work, and if I manage to come out of the "stressful tunnel" I am pretty sure I'll be wearing some pretty clothes quite a lot more than I do now. I've always been very sure that I didn't really want anyone to know the deep, dark secret, but then I discovered CDH, following which I went and had a makeover and photo session - and actually got up the guts to publish some photos on this site! Now I'm semi-seriously contemplating telling a few more close, female friends who I'm sure would understand; I did tell one lady friend once, but unfortunately she is no longer with us. I think it's just a matter of gradual evolution for me: my main goal for a years time is to have found a great pair of strappy sandals that I can actually walk easily in! Holly XXX
Too rid myself of the very painful lower back complaint from almost all of 2023, so's I can go back to my overnight charity volunteer trips and "get my full Caty on" again.
To have JUST!! one more enfemme bra fitting, (the first two were amazing), surely that will be enough... PERHAPS!!
Tho.. I suppose, I could just go to a Target style dept store and try/buy a few myself.
But not half as much fun..
To FINALLY have "the talk" with my DADT SO, (after getting caught fully dressed last September. Day before her birthday...Bad timing... I ate the chocolates and the flowers went in the bin...)
TO TRY!! very hard not to buy any more lingerie... I already have A LOT... I dont wear much anymore.
That will do for "Starters"
Caty
I can honestly say that it took me almost a month in 2023 to actually get up enough courage to post a public photo. It even took me a while to get a nice profile photo that I liked enough to share. I had had an invitation to a Christmas party at the end of 2022, but I wasn’t quite ready. So I resolved to get reasonable at creating a womanly form and really wanted to go to the next meet up. So, then in April, I finally worked up the courage to go to the next get together at a TG makeover studio. I was thinking that at least then I could get my makeup done there and get dressed there too, so I had my first trip out. The rest of the year, I spent just buying clothes and trying to perfect my makeup skills.
My biggest goal for 2024 is to get out more and try to be as comfortable as I can with my presentation so that I can blend in. I also want to perfect some of my newly acquired makeup skills. I think I’ve gotten ok at doing makeup, but want to do some more blending and be able to achieve those flawless looks that we see sometimes.
so, thank you Lea for your forum question, I’ve found that goals are completed by writing them down, and you have helped me do that. Plus it’s always fun to reflect on where we were.
I don't have many goals for 2024, for my CDing journey I've accomplished many goals already, the big one is introducing Wendy to my wife years ago.
In late 2023, I've undergone a partial purge, which isn't as bad as it sounds. I've had to let go of many skirts as they no longer fit, and having them take up valuable closet space makes no sense. I suspect in 2024 I'll be undergoing another "does not fit" purge.
My makeup skills aren't great, but since the first day I dabbled in makeup to now, it has grown leaps and bounds. On the other hand, there is always room for improvement and 2024 I'll continue to hone my make up skills.
One big change I've undergone already is the switch from zippered skirts to elastic waist band pull on skirts. In 2024 I'll most likely continue that trend, as pull on skirts provides me the flexibility of growing into them without having to purge because they no longer fit.
I've had to drastically reduce my spending on Wendy since Dec 2021, and there is a very strong chance I'll continue to do so in 2024 (this is due to the high cost of well, pretty much everything which leaves less $$$ for Wendy). So whatever money I can spend on clothing, I have to make sure that it fits, has room to grow (meaning as I get older the tubbier I get), which in turn helps make the clothes I already have extend its life without having to purge as often.
As for going out, I'd love to go out as Wendy, but I promised my wife that as long as I'm transformed, that I keep it within the house, and I don't see that changing in 2024 at all. A small price to pay for being able to fully transform into Wendy in front of my wife.
2023 was the year Fiona got most of her wardrobe and accessories, and her first makeup. It also saw her first daylight steps outside the house, with a couple of drives out into the countryside. I know I'm rather a late developer as it were, but the last 12 months has certainly shown that my feminine side is obviously more than just a passing curiosity.
This year my major goal is to have The Talk with the OH. I'm fully expecting to end up in something like DADT, I really don't think she'll be the slightest bit supportive, or ever want to meet Fiona. But since we're still effectively two independent people with our own houses, this would enable me to create time for trips away, without having to resort to dishonesty to cover it. I'd like to visit a dressing service to see what a proper makeover could achieve and to give me some hints and tips. I'd like to step out in public somewhere safe, like Leeds First Friday or Brighton Pride.
I intend to make the neighbours at my place aware of Fiona also, to enable her to venture out of the front door more easily. I'd also like to go hairless on my arms as well as my legs during the warmer months. I think that's plenty to be going on with 🙂
Great question Lea.
So at the beginning of 2023 I was still on something of a high having had my first trips out in December 2022.
I had expectations of many more trips out in 2023. In fact, although I did get out a couple of times, I feel as if I’ve regressed on that front.
Lucy has however progressed though in as much as I feel really settled in my identity nowadays for the first time in years.
She did collect a lot of clothing though, which is quite hard to store being in the closet.
So for 2024 I plan to have a good clear out of not often used clothes, which to be fair, has already started.
Also, I’m determined to start getting out and about again. After all, I have some quite nice outfits now 🙂
Got back recently from Hawaii, first time there, so I have one more state to visit to have been to all 50 in the USA, and I am planning on doing it this summer, when I travel west to visit some family in the mtns. That's my big adventure for this year. Other than that, it's just small things like seriously reducing my drab clothing and probably cutting some back on my dress'y' things. And just keep reducing a lot of other 'stuff' so when that time comes, the rest of my family won't have to toss it.
I also this year posted 2 more stories on fictionmania and since I only have 2 left in any stage of development, I'll get those done and probably that will be it.
Hi Lea,
My one goal this year is to have a professional makeover and photo shoot, I'm hoping that this year it will happen, there is a place in London that not only does makeover's but they will also take you out En Femme for a little lunch, but it probably won't be till August which will give me time to save up,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
2023 wasn't the greatest year for me. I learned that any plans you make can change in an instant.
A year ago I was throwing up for days at a time. Long story short, I found out 4 days before Keystone that I had cancer. I had it surgically removed in April, along with part of my stomach, the top of my intestine, my gall bladder, and part of my pancreas.
The chemo left me sleepy, cold, flu-like symptoms, and swelling in the legs. Later on I had a bad reaction and my blood iron was extremely low. I wasn't able to get out as much, whether it was to support meetings or just going out walking. While I didn't lose all my hair, it thinned out and got a lot shorter (about 8 inches) as the longer hairs pulled out. It didn't make sense to color my hair as I had been doing for 25 years because I didn't know if I would keep it or lose it.
The last CT scan and biopsy showed no sign of cancer. I'm going for another CT scan this week, hopeful that there are no changes. If so I will get my hair colored before Keystone. I still have some swelling in the legs. With everything that happened, I lost about 50 lbs (and perhaps more if you count the water weight from the swelling), something I had been trying to do for years. (My friends from the other side of the pond might wonder why my foot isn't hurting; I did reach a point where I dropped 4 stones! With some swelling a few pounds have come back.) It was effective, but I wouldn't recommend the method to anyone. I now have over a dozen skirts that no longer fit me. I didn't outgrow them, I shrunk out of them.
I'm feeling stronger now, and just hoping my health continues so I can get back to where I was before. I am hoping to get back to something I haven't done in almost 50 years, which is bike riding, although this time en femme (and with a helmet; when I last went riding, no one wore helmets). I plan on writing more about this in a day or so.