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The other day while I was in male mode I had a conversation with a stranger that was dressed. I wanted to say something in support but didn’t know what to say. Does anyone have any suggestions of what to do in that spot.
thanks!
Stacie
@staciebobacie
If I was already in the conversation, I'd probably say she looked nice and mention that I like dressing too (assuming the conversation was conducive to doing so naturally). If I'm just walking by a person and don't know them, and am not dressed myself (I don't pass well so there'd be instant recognition from a sister) then I probably wouldn't say anything at all. I mean, when I'm out, I enjoy compliments from people I can trust, because I know they're not being patronizing (or maybe they are ????) but when they come from random strangers, I never know how to handle it. Some of the compliments I've gotten are sarcastic, some I think people were honestly trying to make me feel comfortable (but again, I'm more comfortable blending in), some I think people aren't sure whether I'm a man or a woman and are just trying to get me to talk. Generally, when I'm dressed up I want to go about my business and not be noticed or bothered any more than when I'm in guy mode. If people wouldn't say anything to me dressed as a guy, then I don't want them to say anything when I'm dressed as a woman. If I need to talk to people, then I want them to treat me normally. If I don't need to talk to them, then I'm content for them just to pass by. I'm not exactly a social butterfly. If I'm busy trying to get shopping done, the last thing I want is for someone to come up and get into some long emotional discussion about cross-dressing, or how their family doesn't accept them, or clothes, or shoes, or whatever.
The other thing I always think about is what if they're not actually a crossdresser, or even trans? I mean, I've seen some people and I wondered about their gender, and it's usually never flattering. I would hate to walk up to a GG and assume she was a cross dresser, only to find out she wasn't. In most cases, it's not really a compliment.
For the most part, I think it's best to mind your own business. While we all like compliments, getting them from random people we've never met in public isn't usually what we're going for.
@dovemtn2016 if they're strangers, I don't know how to do it without being a creep.
@staciebobacie First thing That comes to mind is "I Envy your strength and bravery"
Or simply " You Go Girl !! "
Cheers RC
@staciebobacie Just thinking about what some have said to me while I was dressed. Nice boots, or love your nails, or cute earrings.
Cassie
@staciebobacie Just thinking about what some have said to me while I was dressed. Nice boots, or love your nails, or cute earrings.
Cassie
Depends on whether something like that is said with sarcasm or not.
At our recent car show, a sales rep said, "Nice nails!" about my bright red polish. There was a bit of an edge on her tone. Was it a snipe? I just thanked her and moved on.
@harriette Just today I had a customer who needed to sign for a package. I commented to her that it is hard to write with her finger with her long nails. She commented back to me that she liked my long nails, they are red and yellow.
Cassie
An interesting situation. I've had a few times when I've seen a not-quite-passable CD and wanted to talk with her but was afraid to, thinking that she'd resent being "read". My thought: be an encouragement. I'd admit that I too dress, that I'm a "sister" and that I appreciated her being out. If you had a conversation I would think that a complimentary word would have been supporting and encouraging to her. My suggestion? Compliment her on at least one thing that looked good, reinforcing something that was a success for her. Let her know that you understand the complexities of being a CD. But, I agree, a quick, one-time encounter can be tricky.
A good reply is, "I like your style." That leaves plenty of options for further conversation should she want to reply.
I did this recently, I introduced myself, explained I was a sister, complimented the lady. Had a good chat. We're British so the weather was mentioned in the conversation.
It is a difficult one. If you were in a conversation at the end, as Jerri suggested say something complementary. Unless the person invites comment or states they are crossdressing then is it right to extend your opinion with a comment that may not be welcomed or not.
if you cannot contain yourself then quietly approach and give a simple compliment and walk away.
Since you were already in conversation then that alone might be validation enough in itself. I don't think calling attention to the fact that your casual acquaintance was a cross dresser would have been necessary, merely that you saw her as a woman, I would think, would be quite satisfying for her.
If the conversation went on, the perhaps a confession of your own wouldn't be out of place.
I'm only thinking out loud, I have no idea what I would actually say or do if presented with a similar situation.
I recently ran into a sister when I entered the elevator at a hotel I was staying at. I was in male mode and didn't let on I was a CD. I just complemented her on her outfit and had a nice conversation on our way to the lobby. I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago and appreciated the complement and conversation when I was en femme. Sometimes it's just nice to be treated like any other lady.
