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Hello Ladies,
The pastor at church this morning is doing a couple of week sermon series on negative self talk. I tend to not have very much negative self talk, or so I thought. After church I was home changing clothes and getting ready to run errands with my wife. On goes the bra, jeans and a typical man's plaid shirt. Then it hit me, all of my negative self talk is around my male clothes. I hate men's clothes. I hate shopping for men's clothes. I hate the way I look in men's clothes. I talked about it with my wife. Not sure what I will do about it. So thought I would throw this out there and see if any of you have any comments.
Tracy
Tracy, I kind of see where you are coming from. I used to hate shopping for clothes, just go to the store and get what I need. Now I have had many shopping trips to several stores and spend an entire afternoon looking at clothes, not always buying anything, just looking is fun now. All the pretty styles and colors.
I even had 2 shopping events at Torrid spending more time than I would ever have imagined 10 years ago trying on clothes even to the point of dancing in the dressing room while changing from one pretty top to another.
I love my new CD/Trans???? identity
. Cassie
I feel I've been in a similar situation and have come up with a solution that works for me but which I would never have dreamed I would use. I'm trans and for me being in touch with who I really am is the most important thing. I can only dress rarely so now daily I wear a male "costume" with as much female clothes as possible. Ladies underwear, jeans, women's knitted tops, scarves, can all work and then perhaps a man's fleece over the top. Looks male, but feels right. My wife is even encouraging this and most days 90% of what I wear is female and feels lovely. It's genuinely amazing how much women's clothes you can wear without appearing odd or outrightly female. I don't find the need to dress as much as I did as I'm beginning to find my own trans journey, starting with feeling happy in myself.
Not sure is this is any help, but very best wishes,
Thea
I don't dress at work, because I wear work clothes, so it's easier just to dress in work clothes to go to work. I don't wear a wig or makeup (short hair and beard), so that's not an issue. I just wear what I need to wear, and I'm comfortable in both.
Hugs and Kisses,
Fredrika Jones
It's a case of turning the negative into a positive isn't it.. 'I hate mens clothes - but I can wear womens clothes....' I hate the way I look in mens clothes but I look better in womens clothes'.........you have the opportunities to dress and work out how to progress.
The other expression is..'Turn that frown upside down'....
We "talk" to ourselves and it is normal human behaviour. The issue is really how much of it is negative self talk. Too much can be damaging to our mental health, though occasional critical think about why we do things is reasonable.
I used to have some negative self talk about my dressing and when I realize it was not helping me I just came to the realization that I enjoy dressing and it give me pleasure, so I no longer have the negative feelings. I suggest just accepting the times when you need to dress male and leave it at that, and enjoy your en femme time when you can.
I don't "hate" dressing in mens clothing, I do love getting dressed up in women's clothing. One just needs to enjoy those times when we can dress up vs the times we cannot
