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I don't find masculinity attractive. I've never been out in public somewhere or watched a movie and saw a guy and thought 'wow, that guy is really attractive'. The vast majority of men are not attractive.
There are a few of masculine traits that are complete turn offs to me:
Male body hair
Male facial hair
Overly muscular.
I hate my own body hair and facial hair so much I keep everything shaved.
The female form is the pinnacle of beauty in this world in my opinion. I suspect we all share this idea to some extent since everyone here enjoys dressing up like them.
One of the things that can happen is that crossdressing can serve as a door opener to things that we would not have considered previously. That doesn’t happen for everyone. But, for those who do see that open door, it can be a revelation.
I would not know what to do if a man came on to me when dressed , might be fun to experiment or it could be your worse nightmare , nice thought to please a man add a woman but don't see any male trying it on with me .
I'm attracted to women clothes + long hair + women shaped body + trashing/destroying/make wet/make dirty women clothes + schediaphilia. I hate body hair. So I can have relationship with women (I'm married) and I'll act "normal" (maybe except for my long natural head hair).
People don't understand that you are not attracted to "men" / "women" / "both" but it's much more complicated: you attracted to by far more specific things (real body parts, objects, specific events, etc). Many people have attraction only to objects! For example: check what's "schediaphilia". And schediaphilia it's a huge group of many different sub-groups.
In reality it'll take you years to understand your true real attractions. I'm not even sure myself. It'll be a combination of different things.
Example possible attractions (not my attractions):
Big ass + sex with women white clothes + sex with your sister (in fantasy) + women that called "Barbara" + women with long blue metallic hair.
It's a fake man but it's very possible that somewhere in the world you'll find someone with that exact fetish.
So don't ask other and take the long journey into yourself to find out yourself and define your own custom "group".
I find myself a different person when I’m Becky.
I have often fantasised about pleasuring a man.
We are all different we all have different reasons why we dress we all have differences in our style also. Why would we not all have differences in our sexual preferences. We are all here because we love to dress. And as said before in our style preference. I think it is safe that the majority of us think “wish I had a body like hers that I could wear her outfit” And yes this is our safe haven where we can chat, learn from each other about clothes, makeup, how to walk how to sit. This is our space and it’s treated with respect. Sex is just another part of our persona if your bi, pan, straight, gay it does not matter. I have realised I am bisexual I think about having sex as Coleen when I’m dressed with a male. I have went as far as purchasing toys for my pleasure they work 
. I am not putting my marriage at risk they are toys I experiment with and my bisexual fantasies come to life. We are all different but we all have a love of crossdressing.
Is it normal?
For who? For you it might be, for someone else it might not. Personally I would love to go on a date with a nice, tall man. Nothing sexual, just a date. I'm dressed nicely, he picks me up and we go out to dinner somewhere. Doesn't have to be fancy. Then maybe we go dancing or just take a walk and then a movie.
It would be nice to be recognized and treated as a woman for an evening like that.
For me, now that i am later in life, I feel the femininity, and pleasures of dressing but I find myself in thoughts more about being a woman with a man. Back in the day, I dated a few women, as the man, and now I wonder how they felt through those times with me. I am not sure if I could let him be the man and guide me through standard date things, but the thoughts are exciting. The excitement isn't due to a sexual attraction to men but more of an experience to see how it feels being there with and for him.
Interesting question, but not at all a simple one to answer as many of the replies have already stated. I found some years ago that presenting as my female self changed over time from wishing to “look” like a woman to wanting to “ be” a woman when dressed feminine. I think for me at that point in time, I began to very much think like a woman, act like a woman and my behavior and mannerisms became decidedly feminine. I also began to want what a woman wants, including the attention of a man. I never acted on this desire until after I became widowed, choosing to refuse to cheat while married. After becoming single, I started to go out more often and did not seem to have any difficulty attracting the attention of men. I dated a few times and totally loved everything about dating, from choosing what to wear to making myself as pretty as I knew how, hoping he would like what he saw, to the date itself and then if the chemistry was right, making out with him afterwards. I found these evenings to be the most femininely affirming of all my experiences while presenting as my female self. I can say I have never been attracted to a man in a romantic way when in drab. Also, I have not felt any romantic attraction to another woman while en femme. I don’t know what makes me, but that is me! 
@geniv_cd That makes you a person who has their own preferences. Just like everybody else 😊
GP
@geniv_cd I really like your take on this question Genivieve. Speaking for myself here, it’s my belief that many of us start out on this journey where it’s a fetish. “Wow, those pantyhose look cool - I think I’ll try’em on!” Then, if it progresses more into crossdressing as it did for me, you have to stop and seriously consider for yourself: Does this mean I’m gay?” (Which I did do at the time.)
Society’s dictates always want to assign someone into the box that they see them fitting into. “You’re dressing completely like a woman so you probably want to be one. So you’re Trans-whatever.” Well…yes, sorta - at times, - but then, maybe, no. I don’t think so. Feelings ebb and flow but are never really always constant.
My wife and I were batting this football around just this am. Because understanding wives always will think in the back of their minds -“Is he really gay?” Even when you’re married to them at the time…which is funny to me. Especially in our “golden years”. If I’m gay I sure have denied myself for a real long time then, LOL!
Reemerging as Grace one month ago has been a whirlwind of fun stuff, and much of it has to do with CDH. That site and the entire internet wasn’t around my first time around -and that’s true for most of us on here. Thoughts I’d long since discarded or abandoned reappearing. Chapters of my life I just figured were over with and I’d moved on. Then suddenly I’m aware of this wonderful opportunity to portray Grace again. So I start thinking and contemplating long forgotten feelings. All with the help of CDH.
I’ll try and bring this home with Genivieve’s view that some of us here want to “look” like a woman and others want to “be” the woman. And even in that, it’s still a bit blurry. Because the better you can look, the more you want to be. At least in the moment. Add in some nightlife, a little alcoholic courage and all of a sudden, you’re in over your head girl! I can visualize it. People get caught up in things they wouldn’t normally do - - -ALL THE TIME.🥰
So for me, I’ve always prided myself on knowing what I like and being very self-possessed in order to be true to my own beliefs. Willpower always wins out. Fantasies have never been realities for me. There are loads of examples on CDH of hotties that are sexy as all get out.😍! Heck, that’s one of the reasons I’m on here! Don’t we all search for the hot chick in the cool pic? Don’t we all want to be her?
The beauty of CDH is its ability to enable you to go down trails that you normally don’t go down. Be it in your mind or real life. We all get to ponder and think about a lot of juicy questions on here. With like-minded souls. I love the variety of girls on here, all the different viewpoints to think about and consider. Ultimately it always will come down to “You do you and I’ll do me.” I know what I’m ordering but I still like to read the menu.
Thats enough deep thinking for a Sunday morning. It’s time for me to go check out today’s “Featured Photos”😜
GP
@gracepal What an eloquent post Grace. Like you I have allowed my feminine side to re-emerge in the last year or so after a hiatus of many years. I see it said often that our need to crossdress grows as we age, and that's certainly the case with me. You're spot on that being a member of CDH has helped me with my journey and I'm so grateful for the support and friendship I receive here, almost on a daily basis. Thank you ladies.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Chrissie don’t you think that crossdressing becoming more important as we age -has everything to do with the fact that Father Time is undefeated? How much longer will you have to please yourself by looking halfway acceptable in a dress and other girly things?
On the other hand there’s a lot of needs that diminish and lose their importance as you get older and head towards retirement. You start thinking - why’d I ever waste time with THAT, when I’d much rather prefer to do this? (Insert Crossdressing here🥰)
Priorities change and that’s a good thing.
GP
@gracepal Very true Grace. I'm sort of at the "It's now or never" stage. Also there is usually more opportunity, any kids will have flown the nest, and we may be more comfortable and able to treat ourselves to nice girly things xx.
@geniv_cd Exactly! I am not gay, not a lesbian. When I'm dressed, I'm me-- a woman & enjoy the company of a man. When I'm drab, I'm all guy & just enjoy being with my wife.
That describes a lot of what I feel
The longer I have dressed the more I have be attracted to CD's but repulsed by just a guy. Then my wife got a boyfriend after 35 yeares of marriage. she introduced me to threesomes with them. I now think I am Bi. After she encouraged me to join them. You never know till you try.
DeeAnn is right. I've always been straight & happily married, but really get off when guys hit on me. I love to flirt, but the idea of anything, more than that, never crossed my mind & never appealed to me-- until maybe a year or two ago. I met a guy in a bar. After talking for a bit, his hands started to roam. He started kissing me on the neck. Next thing I knew, we were lip-locked. I excused myself to go to the ladies room & quickly sneaked out, but suddenly, I semed open to relations with a man. It was exciting to feel that I was appealing as a woman. Very affirmational. However, I remain faithful to my wife.
@beach-girl I dunno Dawn, most of the wives I know would consider being lip-locked with anyone “cheating.” Good for you that you bailed on that one. Now you get to re-live it and think: “Hmmm…what the heck was that about???”
Which makes me think…when us girls meet and greet at a live get-together -is there a lot of hugging and “pecking” on the lips taking place? Cuz I can envision where even some of that could get a little….shall we say, intense….?
I can already hear myself explaining…”Well, we just pecked on the cheek and then she kinda grabbed me and kissed me right on the lips. Totally caught me off guard. Pretty sure she was hammered…boy, that was gross when I think of it….!”
And then you’re thinking well, actually is was kinda cool…🙃
GP
@gracepal I have only seen other CDers as "girlfriends". Never as "objects of desire".
Dawn you reminded me of a great experience I had my first time around crossdressing seriously in the 90’s back when I called myself “Darla”. I’m at the monthly social - sitting at the bar chit chatting. This meeting place was a gay bar but mostly lesbian. So us “girls” usually danced with one another just like gg’s always do. There was this one that was there every time I went dancing by themselves. She was so striking you thought she was a gg. I would watch her dance and think…”man, I dunno…I think I could go for someone who looks like that no matter what sex they were.” She was THAT sexy.
One night she gets done dancing and comes over and sits next to me at the bar. I was as nervous as if the head cheerleader had come over and sat on my lap! I said my usual, “Hi - how ya doing?” She replied in kind…in a very deep voice. 1st thought: Ok, this is a dude. (Never mind that I’m a dude!🤣) Apparently as I found out in chatting with her, she came every month to dance with herself and just bask in her femininity on the dance floor. I told her: “Well, your look is startlingly realistic as I thought you were a girl for the longest time.” She says: “I get that a lot. So I like to do this - and yanks her wig off of her bald head!” 2nd thought: “Ok, this is deep-voiced, masculine bald dude!” Well, he never put the wig back on that night. So we almost immediately veered into talking about guy stuff and I found out that He/she worked on the docks in Oakland as a longshoreman. Loading and unloading freight all day. Told me he treasured his once a month time to dance as a lady.
After that night I pretty much concluded two things: 1. I’m definitely not gay. 2. It’s a long way from fantasy to reality in the best of conditions.
GP
“ we crossdressers love women so much that we want to look just like them”. Our maleness is attracted to a desirable female. If a crossdresser is beautiful, the maleness is attracted. Men are visual creatures, we are always looking. That’s why nearly all men can’t wait to see what’s under that beautiful sleek dress. We are like little boys who want to unwrap that Christmas present. When considering this human trait, it’s not unusual to be so attracted . However, behind closed doors, the reality of the present becomes a different matter. I have never been that far, thus cannot comment.
@missylinda it is true that (in my case) I find attractive women as attractive, regardless of what is under their clothes. There is no doubt that cross dressers work hard at their presentation and attractiveness.
I relate to much of what has been said. Perhaps for some of us as you get older and lose testosterone, we naturally get in touch with our femme side. It give our a sense of relaxation from trying to live up to the modern ideal of masculinity. I've never lusted for men, except when fantasizing as Charlize. I lust for woman, but because I'm married to a beautiful soul mate, I don't want to disrespect her by having an affair with a "different woman" except with Charlize. Simply a different apart of me.
